Hey some dude in the comments said I should do this drunk so Max made me drink malt liquor. Anyway here are the reviews I reviewed last week (as well as a couple more that went up after the video).
Bound By Flame (PC [reviewed], PS3, PS4, Xbox 360)
Publisher: Focus Home Interactive
Release Date: May 9, 2014
The game is actually on your side when it comes to whipping your character into shape, too, as if to compensate for dim AI and the repetitive grind that some may not find as rewarding as I did. There's plenty of loot scattered throughout the multiple winding passageways and easy-to-navigate dungeons, giving you numerous chances to craft new potions and other necessary items for use in battle. While gold isn't exactly in short supply, you'll still be faced with enough opportunities to make your own fortune rather than looking for your next payday.
Verdict: 7/10 - Read the full Bound By Flame review
Hitman GO (iOS)
Developer: Square Enix
Publisher: Square Enix
Released: April 17, 2014
Still, I was more than enamored with the numerous nods to classic Hitmanmoments, additional costumes, and the amount of polish lavished upon this bizarre yet savory addition to the Hitman universe. It's not perfect, and it certainly won't appeal to everyone, but if you're jonesing for your next taste of the life of an assassin, Hitman GO is the hippest way to emulate everyone's favorite sharp-dressed agent.
Verdict: 8/10 - Read the full Hitman GO review
Republique: Metamorphosis (iOS [reviewed on an iPhone 5], Mac, PC)
Developer: Camouflaj, Logan
Released: April 30, 2014 (iOS) / PC (TBA)
MSRP: $4.99 (Each Episode)
I had my doubts about the Republique project as a whole, but it's clear to me now after two episodes that Camouflaj "gets it." The studio is finding a way to improve upon the core tenets of the game while maintaining an episodic format, which many other developers don't tend to do. While I wouldn't recommend that everyone rush out and buy the Season Pass right now, I'm looking forward to seeing what the next episode brings to the table.
Verdict: 7.5/10 - Read the full Republique: Metamorphosis review
Sportsfriends (PC, PS3, PS4 [reviewed])
Developer: Die Gute Fabrik
Publisher: Die Gute Fabrik
Release Date: May 6, 2014
Despite the fact that I don't think I'll be playing Barabariball or Super Pole Riders for very long, Hokra's level editor gives it legs, and Johann Sebastian Joust shouldn't be missed by anyone who enjoys having company over. It's a very uneven package in the sense that there could have either been a few more games and a few could have been better, but honestly -- $15 isn't a terrible price just for Joust alone.
Verdict: 7/10 - Read the full Sportsfriends review
Raiden IV: OverKill (PS3)
Publisher: UFO Interactive Game
Released: April 29, 2014
Raiden IV: OverKill could have used a few more extras, but the fact that you can get it cheaper than the Xbox 360 version when it launched (it's $20 now digitally as well) is a compelling reason for genre fans to pick this one up. While theRaiden series in general isn't my favorite collective of shmups, it's been a steady staple for over two decades for a reason.
Verdict: 7.5/10 - Read the full Raiden IV: OverKill review
The Elder Scrolls Online (Mac, PC [reviewed], PlayStation 4, Xbox One)
Developer: ZeniMax Online Studios
Publisher: Bethesda Softworks
Release: April 4, 2014 (Mac, PC) / June 2014 (PlayStation 4, Xbox One)
MSRP: $59.99 ($14.99 subscription fee, with 30 days included in base game)
I think right now, the most prudent thing to do is to wait for ZeniMax to iron out all of The Elder Scrolls Online's kinks (including how it handles post level 50 content to make it less grindy), and play the console version of the game. Not only will it arrive with all of the updates from the PC version in tow, but it'll also have full native controller support -- which feels more natural than a mouse and keyboard in this instance.
Verdict: 6.5/10 - Read the full The Elder Scrolls Online review
Tesla Effect: A Tex Murphy Adventure (PC [reviewed], Mac)
Developer: Big Finish Games
Released: May 7, 2014
MRSP: $19.99 / £14.99
The humor doesn't always work and the puzzle design is still rooted in the series' 1990s adventure game roots, meaning it feels archaic in spots, but there are some welcome concessions to modern design with the flashlight and hint system. Tex Murphy might be alive in 2014 but he'll need to learn a few more tricks if he's to stay around for another adventure.
Verdict: 6.5/10 - Read the full Tesla Effect: A Tex Murphy Adventure review