hot  /  reviews  /  videos  /  cblogs  /  qposts

Fire Pro Wrestling
 BLOG ABOUT THIS

Review: Fire Pro Wrestling

8:00 PM on 01.11.2013 // Ian Bonds

Let's get ready to ... turn off this game

The original Fire Pro Wrestling was a game specifically for the hardcore fans of pro wrestling. I'm not talking about the male soap-opera that is WWE, but a more brutal version such as some of the Japanese wrestling circuits like Dragon Gate or Philadelphia's Chikara.

Flashy characters, explosive moves, and a huge amount of customization allowed fans of varying styles of wrestling to make the game uniquely their own, and the homages to all sorts of real-life athletes was a nice wink-and-nod to the fans of the sport; the variety offered by the game was stunning.

This is not that Fire Pro Wrestling.

Fire Pro Wrestling (Xbox Live Arcade)
Developer: Spike
Publisher: Microsoft Studios
Released: September 21, 2012
MSRP: 800 Microsoft Points

This version of Fire Pro Wrestling takes the name of the beloved franchise and slams it hard onto the mat, then pins it...and then tea bags it for an hour and a half. Virtually nothing from the original series makes its way to this title, and that's a real shame.

Gone are the customizable wrestlers. Instead, you fight with your avatar. And while you can customize them to some degree with costumes, moves, and items you unlock through gameplay, they all seem fairly flat. Maybe it's because the gameplay itself is so flat, as your standard wrestling tropes give way to "hit your opponent, grapple your opponent, slam your opponent," then lather, rise, repeat until it's time to pin.

And your opponent. Oh boy. No clever homages to wrestlers of a bygone era, or wink-and-nods to obscure hardcore heroes. Nope, these are generic avatars with no real skill necessary to defeat. Some may be a tad harder thanks to cheap tag team tactics (where their partner, no matter how you may detain them still manage to sneak up on you and stop your pin) but for the most part, the matches shouldn't take you long to play through.

That is, if you can tolerate the control. Moving your wrestler avatar around the ring is a sluggish exercise in patience, and grappling with your opponent is tiresome as hit detection is spotty. Easy matches would be one thing, but the control seems to suck all of the fun out of what is an already boring game. There's not even that much variety in the move sets. No submission moves, no moves on the ropes (save for a few turnbuckle leaps), and no tag-specific finishers. You can't even do very much outside of the ring, except what you do in the ring, which is hit, grapple, repeat.

The moves included are few and far between, and you sadly have to play through this mess of a title in order to unlock anything worth using. Special moves, once acquired, feature an unskippable animation, but are at least a decent diversion from the repetition of the standard smack-around you'll be doing.

But what if someone else bought Fire Pro Wrestling, and you wanted to suffer through it together? Online play is a laggy mess, and the online modes offer the same features as offline; namely slow, boring gameplay. One thing the online mode does differently than offline, however, is remove your health, stamina, and energy bars from the screen. That's a big help for executing moves where your timing is already in question.

Fire Pro Wrestling on Xbox Live Arcade is the most basic of wrestling games. Flat, featureless, and simplistic, it is devoid of any redeeming qualities found elsewhere such as replay value or fun. What could have been a cool, cartoon-y version of a classic franchise is but a wasted shell of its former self.



THE VERDICT

2

Fire Pro Wrestling - Reviewed by Ian Bonds
Painful - This game made me feel actively disgusted most of the time. Like a disease. It might not kill you, but anything is possible.

See more reviews or the Destructoid score guide.

Ian Bonds, Contributor
 Follow Blog + disclosure Tips
Ian is Dtoid's resident review monkey. If there is a game no one else wants to review, it usually goes to Ian. As a reviewer, Ian has been writing for close to ten years for various sites, starti... more   |   staff directory



 Setup email comments

Unsavory comments? Please report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our moderators, and flag the user (we will ban users dishing bad karma). Can't see comments? Apps like Avast or browser extensions can cause it. You can fix it by adding *.disqus.com to your whitelists.

 Add your impressions

 Quickposts
Status updates from C-bloggers

kolten2 avatarkolten2
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJCiF5dBSpweeStTjOqu-uA/videos
TheAngriestCarp avatarTheAngriestCarp
I'm pretty sure you guys know what game I'll be playing tomorrow. One of THE hottest games of the season. That's right, I'm talking about Lunch Truck Tychoon. Kojima ain't got shit on me, mukkas!
Flegma avatarFlegma
Playing Project Zero 2 on Wii. One should hope PZ5 got more sensible controls - twisting the Wiimote left/right to turn the camera does not make sense.
Barry Kelly avatarBarry Kelly
"When you are not playing the game or choose not to join the defense, your FOB will be defended automatically by your Security Team and security devices." Yeah, I think I'll just avoid the FOB functionality in MGS V
Snaveage avatarSnaveage
PSA: If you're picking up Phantom Pain tomorrow, put the kids down for a nap, turn off your phone and tell your partner to pipe down - the opening hour deserves your undivided attention. Enjoy!
extatix avatarextatix
If you like your hentai VNs [url="https://groupees.com/vn3"]cheap.[/url] Or even [url="https://www.indiegala.com/manga"]cheaper[/url].
VeryImportantQuestion avatarVeryImportantQuestion
Just read that SquareEnix have applied some weird mutation of crowdfunding mechanics to the Deus Ex: Mankind Divided preorder. I know the last blog I wrote mentioned how big publishers try to pervert these systems, but to think it's already this far gone.
Cosmonstropolis avatarCosmonstropolis
First in line to grab MGS V tomorrow. Close to my house, so it looks like I can eat and sleep comfortably. No one else seems to be waiting at my mailbox. Neighbors are getting suspicious.
The Travisionist avatarThe Travisionist
[img]https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CNwHpCTVAAA0jLp.png[/img] Sometimes, life is good as a ghost.
Mike Wallace avatarMike Wallace
You know what, I'm just gonna come out and say it. I hope MGSV fails. It won't train wreck by any means, but I hope it's a huge financial failure. Nothing against Kojima, but #fuckonami
Rad Party God avatarRad Party God
MGS V unlocks for me tomorrow at noon.
LinkSlayer64 avatarLinkSlayer64
Since my blog using this is basically useless, I still wanted to share it. [img]http://i.imgur.com/a33WM5Q.png[/img] CAN YOU DIG IT!?
Manchild avatarManchild
I don't think you should be able to say #Fuckonami if you are deciding to support their product anyways. I don't often agree with boycotting and am not condoning that, but get your story straight and show a little consistency.
CJ Andriessen avatarCJ Andriessen
When the band began to play the stars were shining bright. Now the milkman's on his way and it's too late to say good night. So, Good Morning! Good Morning!
IDrawOnTape avatarIDrawOnTape
I'm guessing all rock bands in the world must have stopped making music videos this year, since I read fall out boy's "Uma Thurman" won for rock video of the year. I can only assume there were no other nominees.that's the only rational explanation.
RatCasket avatarRatCasket
dtoid discussion has been awfully bitchy these past couple of days. knock it off. its just video games.
StripyTrousers avatarStripyTrousers
Just posted my first Dtoid Community blog. Hello all!
ChillyBilly avatarChillyBilly
Good Morning Good Morning We've talked the whole night through Good Morning Good Morning to you Good Morning Good Morning It's great to stay up late Good Morning Good Morning to you
Daniel Lingen avatarDaniel Lingen
#PAX2015
Agent9 avatarAgent9
gonna help my mom move and pack some things. what it means is I'm gonna sit and get yelled at whether I do or do not do something. I can't be the only one with a picky parent that expects nothing less than clairvoyance (-_-)
more quickposts


Contest!


destructoid's previous coverage:
Fire Pro Wrestling


View all:powered by:  MM.Elephant

Ads on destructoid may be purchased from:



Please contact Crave Online, thanks!



Seriously

Invert site colors

  Dark Theme
  Light Theme


Destructoid means family.
Living the dream, since 2006

Pssst. konami code + enter

modernmethod logo



Back to Top


We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -