What's more manly? The ripped and bulging form of Chad Concelmo (seen above)? Or the over the top manliness of the Contra series? The correct answer: neither.
Just to give you an example of how manly Chad is, he woke up this morning in a pile of women, spent from a night of finger banging (the women, not him). He then proceeded to brush his teeth with a jackhammer while humming AC/DC's Thunderstruck, commonly known to be one of the most manly songs in the world sung before breakfast. Chad then decided to enjoy his morning meal, a nice bowl of testosterone covered roofing nails. But instead of milk, Chad uses gasoline. Chad then jumped onto his dolphin-shaped rocketcar and sped down the streets of Los Angeles, rush hour traffic be damned.
So, as you can see, Chad and Contra have the exact same level of manliness. Oh, and I think we did a show about one of the two.
Highlights!
- Definitely not the Hayden Christensen ghost
- No need for a dolphin recount here!
- Learn to hate your 360 D-pad even more, buy Triggerheart Excelica!
- Contra folds Chad's socks
Once again, ladies and gentleman, you can find the weekly episode of retro flavored memories
right over here. If you're iTunesing the show, do us a favor and give a little review on iTunes. Plenty of good reviews brings more exposure to the show, and the world needs a lot more exposure to Chad Concelmo. How else will the dolphin revolution begin?
Contest:
3:18 PM on 03.03.2008
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Downloading now...
REEAAADDYYY TOOOOO MOOONNNDDDDAAAAAYYYY!!!
Downloading now, will listen after work.
thank you <3<3
listening now <3
Also, do the Castlevania one.
Oh btw thanks Dyson for that community blog post you made about 4 months ago! I dont read c-blogs as often as I should, so your post flew under my radar. I did a complete double-take when I saw the title of the post! Thanks for letting me go back and enjoy RetroforceGo's of the past!
As far as the 360 D-pad and shmups go. It's dangerous to go alone! Take this!
Not that its essential, or even matters, as a counterpoint to your rant but just puttin that out there.
Until then, I content myself with the fact that nothing is more hyper-masculine than Chad stating his desire to put a baby in various community members.
The winner of this weeks out of context quote is Chad.
Chad says: "...you suck in a guy and you can like, you know, get powers..."
Not content with just finger banging all those chicks then Chad?
HA HA HA HA! Nice. :) :)
Now, for next week, Ninja Gaiden o Castlevania?
I would already have Contra III on the Wii if there were re-mappable controls. I have a GCN pad and do not feel like shelling out money for a Classic Controller, nor do I want to deal with trying to press B and Y at the same time on the Gamecube controller. I managed to finish ActRaiser, but that game is nowhere near as action intensive.
Oh, really? I must have remembered it wrong. I just recall the giant "HIT RATIO" text at the top of the screen stressing me out all the time. :) :)
I'll have to try to get some more indie in my life I suppose, I just seem to always hit the stuff that gets suggested to me.
I also agree that Contra III is the definitive version, but awful on the VC.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOF6J-BMp3s
If Chad ever had a musical training montage ala Rocky, that would be the song playing in the background.
Hopefully...Concelmo wouldn't feel the need to suffer me a finger-banging at his hands if I lose...
http://www.retrousb.com/index.php?productID=149
Still, credit the man for putting it all together.
16:35 - I believe that some people made an Atari 2600 game recently (the game was Adventure 2 I believe).
17:38 - That part is awesome.
40:10 If you don't like not shooting everything Chad then you won't like the Friendly Fire missions in Contra 4's challenge mode. All I'll say is, you shouldn't get any power ups and keep the Pea Shooter
47:13 - I believe that Konami thought it would sell more in America if they riped off Rambo and Predator as much as possible, so they had it take play in a time closer to the present.
53:32 - I pressed up and didn't die in those levels, I just got paralyzed for a split moment, you must have gotten hit by a stray bullet.
54:10 - I didn't beating Contra 4 on hard without dieing, it was without using a continue, but thank you.
54:19 -
58:00/58:33 - Machine Gun and Homing Missiles? That's exactly what I use!
59:42 - I like Super Homing Missiles better then Super Spread (VORTEX OF DOOM!!!).
70:50 - I've only played 1,2 and 4, but all the bosses seemed kind of easy compared to other games I've played.
91:52 - you can reset Wii VC games from the Home button menu
@DynamicSheep there is no unlimited continues cheat in Contra 4... the Konami code upgrades your weapons in that game (or randomly kills you)
But leave it to a weeaboo I know to point out that, grammatically, it should be "haiku," not "haikus."
Hey there! My name is Will, and you guys are super-neat. I agree with you on many things! For example, I play video games. You do too! Okay, I'm actung so stupid I forget what I was actually here to say... oh, right! I forget now. I bring you: YOUR SALVATION! IN D-PAD FORM!
I used to test games, and I was in the 'elite' club of compliance testers. This means we were so awesome at our jobs that we got the worst assignments. Unplugging memory cards for 6 hours? Sweet! Testing every third-party peripheral on every screen to make sure they don't crash anything? Pass me that DDR pad, this car won't drive itself! But the most amazing thing I found... brace yourselves, you'll never believe that this thing isn't actually grabage...
The Mad Catz 360 "Microcon" controller.
Seriously, guys.
There's also a non-"micro" version if that one's too small for your hands. But seriously, you can find these things for dirt-cheap nowadays, and the d-pad is actually NOT useless. I mean, it's no SNES d-pad, but what is? But on a scale of 1 (360) to 10 (SNES or Wii or DC or something) this d-pad is surprisingly around an 8!
It doesn't end there... I REALLY love the analog sticks on this thing. They feel a bit flimsy, but they also feel really accurate and nimble.
Sadly, I haven't really found one in Canada since I had that job, which bums me out greatly. But, either way, GET ONE OF THESE THINGS. I will try too. Then we can enjoy those stupid Arcade games we bought but suck at due to the 360 controller. Triggerheart Exelica, get in my belly!
1) The back and start buttons are in the dumbest places ever-- above the "guide" button or whatever they call it these days. You WILL hit that guide when you're trying to pause. This ranges from irritating to excruciating.
2) The analog stick, while totally amazing, does kinda feel like it's gonna break if you push it too hard. I never broke it, but I have the velveteen touch of a nerdy masseuse.
3) It's small. Seriously. And the bigger one is still kinda good, but IMO feels a lot more chintzy.
4) Not wireless, if that matters. If it matters though, you probably sit way too far from your screen and should be ashamed. You don't remember the days where you lied facing forwards on your bed eating blue raspberry lifesavers and grinding your face against that driving level in Battletoads.
5) There may be more, but I forget.
@Topher
I agree, the D-pad on the 360 controller sucks =(.
@Chad
<3 Kirby.
http://www.threadless.com/product/623/Haikus_are_easy_but
haikus are easy
but sometimes they don't make sense
refrigerator
@Chad
The tank that you mentioned in the original NES contra was easy to beat without any jumping. If you stood in the right spot on the far left, the bullets would just barely miss your little toeseys and you could just blast away.