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Reddit sends crowbar to scientists to protect against headcrabs photo

Scientists near Geneva are weeks away from switching on the Large Hadron Collider, a particle accelerator that promises to change our understanding of the universe forever. A Reddit user, however, has considered the far reaching implications of this device, and fears that a real-life resonance cascade, as seen in the events of Half-Life, could occur, leading to Headcrab incidents the world over.

Luckily for humanity, this reader has our welfare at the forefront of his mind and sent along a tool that will protect civilization from alien invasion, should disaster strike:

Upon learning that the Cern lab would be recreating the ill-fated Black Mesa project, Mad_Gouki thought it’d be prudent to send them a red crowbar for the pending alien invasion. Chris knows a few fellow physicists working at the lab, so we’ll do our best to get this in the right hands. Let’s hope they have someone there named Gordon Freeman who knows what to do with it…

Godspeed, little crowbar, may you find the right hands and serve as the barrier between us and total world devastation.


Continue: More Half Life stories





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43 comments | showing # 1 to 43

Dexter345's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 16:38
Dexter345
As long as they're prepared for unforeseen consequences, we should be all right.

...Wait a minute, how can you prepare for unforeseen consequences anyway?
ReclusiveSpirit's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 16:40
ReclusiveSpirit
They can have the crowbar...I'll take Alyx.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 16:41
Mxyzptlk
If he really cared he would have sent along a few HEV suits as well.
Release82's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 16:47
Release82
So this experiment is the same exact thing that happened in HL1? And no one is worried?

I hope this thing does open a hole in the universe and allows creatures to invade. The whole Obama vs McCain thing would be old news fast.
maxio098ui's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 16:48
maxio098ui
now we know why a crowbar was around at black mesa. it was pretty out of place
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 16:48
Sharpless
Just in case, the scientists should get all their talking done now.

If all their security guards look alike though, you might want to quit and get out of the country.
Fusiontr's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 16:50
Fusiontr
Good luck little crowbar
Blackhat's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 16:51
Blackhat
How about sending them some ammo for the goddamn revolver. Fuck that thing had no ammo anywhere.
Brando's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 16:51
Brando
I had a bad case of headcrabs once, shaving off your hair doesn't even help....
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 16:53
king3vbo
Just gimme Alyx, I'll be alright
Fronz's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 16:53
Fronz
phew, i thought we were only a few days away from LHC madness. this gives me time to run out and buy a crowbar as well.
RonBurgandy2010's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 16:54
RonBurgandy2010
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Redzie's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 16:58
Redzie
FIRST OF ALL,


WHAT THE FUCK IS REDDIT??


It just makes me think that this is just another stupid stunt to get attention. Creative though.
monosylabik's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 16:59
monosylabik
you guys asking for alyx realize she was only like 3 or 4 years old at the time of the black mesa incident.....so youre all a bunch of perverted creeps.
JynxShot's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 17:02
JynxShot
Is it wrong that I'm excited about the far-flung possibility of this eventually getting me my own grav-gun?

Sweet, sweet dreams of GMod gone real...
AlienGuy18's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 17:04
AlienGuy18
Only Hugh Laurie can save us now!
Teta's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 17:04
Teta
Where´s my gigant robo dog?
NobodysDream's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 17:06
NobodysDream
I so excited that the LHC is coming online. I've been waiting for this since, what, 2001?

Either we solve the mysteries of the universe, or we create a tiny black hole that consumes all matter in the solar system. Win win scenario.
pendelton21's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 17:18
pendelton21
Oh, good, we're safe now.

*whew*
Dead Movie Star's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 17:23
Dead Movie Star
A crowbar wont save us! We'll still be enslaved for at least ten years, if not longer.
monosylabik's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 17:25
monosylabik
ammo caches can be found near these symbols"

braulio09's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 17:27
braulio09
NobodysDream, those tiny blackholes (IF they're even created) would last like 1/1000th of a second.
Blake's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 17:31
Blake
Whew. Safe on that front.

Note to self. Prepare fore unforeseen consequences.
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 17:31
mix
Reddit?

Hell yeah I just did and it was a great story, I woulda reddit again as well.
wardrox's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 17:38
wardrox
@Redzie, I'm the one who wrote the damned article on Ripten and passed it to Jim. I was on reddit (it's like digg but not shit) when the idea popped up. RTFA or STFU. You look like a fool now.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 17:59
Sharpless
@Redzie
It's a fairly well-known site in the same vein as Digg. Only with fewer idiots. Also, Google is your friend.
rpbowlinggod's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 18:00
rpbowlinggod
prepare for unforseen consesquences of the half life:full life consequences kind? (wtf did i just do)
Velt's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 18:02
Velt
I hope they do this before next week, Iam dying for a distraction and the seven hour war could be a good one.
Eschatos's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 18:12
Eschatos
**As epic as the originally posted image is, it's a violation of the rules to post it, so we're gonna have to remove it. - Destructoid's Net Nanny Police.**
CareBear LG's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 18:22
CareBear LG
Isn't what they are trying to do a bit similar to what they did in the (shitty) movie "The Black Hole"?
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 18:37
Samit Sarkar
Eschatos wins.
Necros's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 18:38
Necros
That collider scares the shit out of me.
rpbowlinggod's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 18:47
rpbowlinggod
eschatos wins the world
falinter's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 18:50
falinter
I need me one of them crowbars thur
Scrixx's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 18:56
Scrixx
LOL I just finished playing Episode 2.

Prepare for Unforeseen Consequences.
Ogu's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 19:26
Ogu
Well didn't the resonance occur only after several of these experiments?

I think we're cool for now.

But in all seriousness, isn't this the particle accelerator that could cause a Black hole inside earth if things go wrong? I think I saw this on TED.

Fuck portals man, Black Holes suck.
Reeper's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 19:42
Reeper
I sure hope we don't have to deal with FULL LIFE CONSEQUENCES!!!!!


Stupid final boss :|
Zen Albatross's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 20:33
Zen Albatross
I'VE BEEN TELLING PEOPLE THIS FOR MONTHS.

The Higgs Boson = Combine Portal!
Crapsh00t's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 20:36
Crapsh00t
@braulio09

What about strangelets? If one of those form in the collider, and they behave as they have been theorized to, then the whole earth gets converted to one uniform lump of shit in no time at all.

In that case I'll take a dimension splitting resonance cascade, thank you very much. Besides, the Combine Advisors aren't so scary when you realize they're only the size of a large sow.
welkstar's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/06/2008 00:01
welkstar
Clever!
The Bozz's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/06/2008 09:34
The Bozz
Cool. I'll begin the organization of resistance cells down here. Somebody start creating a zero-point energy field manipulator.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/06/2008 14:33
Sharpless
What was Eschatos' picture?
Batthink's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/06/2008 16:51
Batthink
Large Hadron Collider? Is that the big circular tunnel under central Europe?

*goes and looks at Wiki...*

Oh yes, it is. Let's pray nothing goes wrong.
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