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Home Half Life updates

Reddit sends crowbar to scientists to protect against headcrabs

4:38 PM on 08.05.2008, Jim Sterling 55 comments

Reddit sends crowbar to scientists to protect against headcrabs photo
     Half Life

Scientists near Geneva are weeks away from switching on the Large Hadron Collider, a particle accelerator that promises to change our understanding of the universe forever. A Reddit user, however, has considered the far reaching implications of this device, and fears that a real-life resonance cascade, as seen in the events of Half-Life, could occur, leading to Headcrab incidents the world over.

Luckily for humanity, this reader has our welfare at the forefront of his mind and sent along a tool that will protect civilization from alien invasion, should disaster strike:

Upon learning that the Cern lab would be recreating the ill-fated Black Mesa project, Mad_Gouki thought it’d be prudent to send them a red crowbar for the pending alien invasion. Chris knows a few fellow physicists working at the lab, so we’ll do our best to get this in the right hands. Let’s hope they have someone there named Gordon Freeman who knows what to do with it…

Godspeed, little crowbar, may you find the right hands and serve as the barrier between us and total world devastation.


Next page: More HAHA Weird! stories




Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 08/05/2008 16:41
If he really cared he would have sent along a few HEV suits as well.
Release82's Avatar
Release82 at 08/05/2008 16:47
So this experiment is the same exact thing that happened in HL1? And no one is worried?

I hope this thing does open a hole in the universe and allows creatures to invade. The whole Obama vs McCain thing would be old news fast.
maxio098ui's Avatar
maxio098ui at 08/05/2008 16:48
now we know why a crowbar was around at black mesa. it was pretty out of place
Sharpless's Avatar
Sharpless at 08/05/2008 16:48
Just in case, the scientists should get all their talking done now.

If all their security guards look alike though, you might want to quit and get out of the country.
Fusiontr's Avatar
Fusiontr at 08/05/2008 16:50
Good luck little crowbar
Blackhat's Avatar
Blackhat at 08/05/2008 16:51
How about sending them some ammo for the goddamn revolver. Fuck that thing had no ammo anywhere.
Brando's Avatar
Brando at 08/05/2008 16:51
I had a bad case of headcrabs once, shaving off your hair doesn't even help....
king3vbo's Avatar
king3vbo at 08/05/2008 16:53
Just gimme Alyx, I'll be alright
Fronz's Avatar
Fronz at 08/05/2008 16:53
phew, i thought we were only a few days away from LHC madness. this gives me time to run out and buy a crowbar as well.
RonBurgandy2010's Avatar
RonBurgandy2010 at 08/05/2008 16:54
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Redzie's Avatar
Redzie at 08/05/2008 16:58
FIRST OF ALL,


WHAT THE FUCK IS REDDIT??


It just makes me think that this is just another stupid stunt to get attention. Creative though.
monosylabik's Avatar
monosylabik at 08/05/2008 16:59
you guys asking for alyx realize she was only like 3 or 4 years old at the time of the black mesa incident.....so youre all a bunch of perverted creeps.
JynxShot's Avatar
JynxShot at 08/05/2008 17:02
Is it wrong that I'm excited about the far-flung possibility of this eventually getting me my own grav-gun?

Sweet, sweet dreams of GMod gone real...
AlienGuy18's Avatar
AlienGuy18 at 08/05/2008 17:04
Only Hugh Laurie can save us now!
Teta's Avatar
Teta at 08/05/2008 17:04
Where´s my gigant robo dog?
NobodysDream's Avatar
NobodysDream at 08/05/2008 17:06
I so excited that the LHC is coming online. I've been waiting for this since, what, 2001?

Either we solve the mysteries of the universe, or we create a tiny black hole that consumes all matter in the solar system. Win win scenario.
pendelton21's Avatar
pendelton21 at 08/05/2008 17:18
Oh, good, we're safe now.

*whew*
Dead Movie Star's Avatar
Dead Movie Star at 08/05/2008 17:23
A crowbar wont save us! We'll still be enslaved for at least ten years, if not longer.
monosylabik's Avatar
monosylabik at 08/05/2008 17:25
ammo caches can be found near these symbols"

braulio09's Avatar
braulio09 at 08/05/2008 17:27
NobodysDream, those tiny blackholes (IF they're even created) would last like 1/1000th of a second.
Blake's Avatar
Blake at 08/05/2008 17:31
Whew. Safe on that front.

Note to self. Prepare fore unforeseen consequences.
mix's Avatar
mix at 08/05/2008 17:31
Reddit?

Hell yeah I just did and it was a great story, I woulda reddit again as well.
wardrox's Avatar
wardrox at 08/05/2008 17:38
@Redzie, I'm the one who wrote the damned article on Ripten and passed it to Jim. I was on reddit (it's like digg but not shit) when the idea popped up. RTFA or STFU. You look like a fool now.
Sharpless's Avatar
Sharpless at 08/05/2008 17:59
@Redzie
It's a fairly well-known site in the same vein as Digg. Only with fewer idiots. Also, Google is your friend.
rpbowlinggod's Avatar
rpbowlinggod at 08/05/2008 18:00
prepare for unforseen consesquences of the half life:full life consequences kind? (wtf did i just do)
Velt's Avatar
Velt at 08/05/2008 18:02
I hope they do this before next week, Iam dying for a distraction and the seven hour war could be a good one.
Eschatos's Avatar
Eschatos at 08/05/2008 18:12
**As epic as the originally posted image is, it's a violation of the rules to post it, so we're gonna have to remove it. - Destructoid's Net Nanny Police.**
CareBear LG's Avatar
CareBear LG at 08/05/2008 18:22
Isn't what they are trying to do a bit similar to what they did in the (shitty) movie "The Black Hole"?
Samit Sarkar's Avatar
Samit Sarkar at 08/05/2008 18:37
Eschatos wins.
Necros's Avatar
Necros at 08/05/2008 18:38
That collider scares the shit out of me.
rpbowlinggod's Avatar
rpbowlinggod at 08/05/2008 18:47
eschatos wins the world
falinter's Avatar
falinter at 08/05/2008 18:50
I need me one of them crowbars thur
Scrixx's Avatar
Scrixx at 08/05/2008 18:56
LOL I just finished playing Episode 2.

Prepare for Unforeseen Consequences.
Ogu's Avatar
Ogu at 08/05/2008 19:26
Well didn't the resonance occur only after several of these experiments?

I think we're cool for now.

But in all seriousness, isn't this the particle accelerator that could cause a Black hole inside earth if things go wrong? I think I saw this on TED.

Fuck portals man, Black Holes suck.
Reeper's Avatar
Reeper at 08/05/2008 19:42
I sure hope we don't have to deal with FULL LIFE CONSEQUENCES!!!!!


Stupid final boss :|
Zen Albatross's Avatar
Zen Albatross at 08/05/2008 20:33
I'VE BEEN TELLING PEOPLE THIS FOR MONTHS.

The Higgs Boson = Combine Portal!
Crapsh00t's Avatar
Crapsh00t at 08/05/2008 20:36
@braulio09

What about strangelets? If one of those form in the collider, and they behave as they have been theorized to, then the whole earth gets converted to one uniform lump of shit in no time at all.

In that case I'll take a dimension splitting resonance cascade, thank you very much. Besides, the Combine Advisors aren't so scary when you realize they're only the size of a large sow.
welkstar's Avatar
welkstar at 08/06/2008 00:01
Clever!
The Bozz's Avatar
The Bozz at 08/06/2008 09:34
Cool. I'll begin the organization of resistance cells down here. Somebody start creating a zero-point energy field manipulator.
Sharpless's Avatar
Sharpless at 08/06/2008 14:33
What was Eschatos' picture?
Batthink's Avatar
Batthink at 08/06/2008 16:51
Large Hadron Collider? Is that the big circular tunnel under central Europe?

*goes and looks at Wiki...*

Oh yes, it is. Let's pray nothing goes wrong.
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