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Really nasty looking Dynasty Warriors 6 figures for sale in Japan photo

As an avid fan of anything related to Dynasty Warriors, I'd normally snap up this sort of thing, but this set of eight Japanese figures is just so ... creepy looking that I'm going to have to think long and hard before slapping my hard earned Yen down for any of them.

Zhao Yun, Sun Shang Xiang, Lu Bu, Xiahou Dun, Diao Chan, Zhang Liao, Guan Yu and Gan Ning are all available, resembling something closer to an escaped gang of crossdressing mental patients than medieval war heroes. As much as I love the DW series, I'm not sure I could sleep at night having a manic-eyed Sun Shang staring at me with that vacant, cold, dead expression on her face.

According to my Japanese reading skills (otherwise known as the use of online translators), each figure is provided at random and you don't know which one you get before you buy. The last thing you need is to be expecting Lu Bu and getting that ... that horrific Sun Shang one glaring up at you. 

Who am I kidding? I'll buy them all eventually, and weep bitter tears of shame and misery with each one that gets delivered.


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36 comments | showing # 1 to 36

Neonie's Avatar
Neonie at 01/19/2008 10:50
Wow the brown haird chick looks like a dude....scary shit man...scary shit.
demonelite's Avatar
demonelite at 01/19/2008 10:51
Scary
AfroJoel's Avatar
AfroJoel at 01/19/2008 10:51
idk, my bff guan yu?
casualweaponry's Avatar
casualweaponry at 01/19/2008 10:52
In before Fap, Fap, Fap.

But seriously, they don't look that creepy. I have creepier stuff in my toy collection.

Millenium Falcon Transformer with Chewbacca's face? That's creepy.
Jim Sterling's Avatar
Jim Sterling at 01/19/2008 10:55
Added a paragraph after running a bit of the page through Babelfish.
Professor Pew's Avatar
Professor Pew at 01/19/2008 10:56
What a travesty of DW! :(
Shin Oni's Avatar
Shin Oni at 01/19/2008 10:57
I wanna get the Gan Ning. and if this is the same one they're selling on Play Asia, then it's pretty cheappy.

Diao Chan looks alittle goofy there. Also...



Much better?
Jim Sterling's Avatar
Jim Sterling at 01/19/2008 11:00
I think like, one pound is 200+ Yen. That might not be too bad a buy for the risk of getting Sun Shang Xiang to haunt my dreams.
Silverhertz's Avatar
Silverhertz at 01/19/2008 11:12
Half of them are decent but the other half....eek! Not sure if its worth the 50/50 chance ill get that creepy chick. Anyone wanting the one shin oni posted can get him here Think it looks a lot more decent
Clockwork's Avatar
Clockwork at 01/19/2008 11:13
Whoever that chick is in the top left of the picture, is one ugly bitch.
Silverhertz's Avatar
Silverhertz at 01/19/2008 11:13
Ohhh and since when has xiahou duns weapon changed? LAME
Jim Sterling's Avatar
Jim Sterling at 01/19/2008 11:17
Yeah, totally plonking down a pre-order for that Play Asia one. Nice find, you guys.
Cheeburga's Avatar
Cheeburga at 01/19/2008 11:19
LU BUUUU
Jim Sterling's Avatar
Jim Sterling at 01/19/2008 11:23
Order made. Less than £8.00 too, shipping included. I swear, living in the UK does, very rarely, have its f'n uses.
wario67's Avatar
wario67 at 01/19/2008 11:25
Diao Chan looks ok she like the best out of the 8
6,720円 how much is that in US?
Necros's Avatar
Necros at 01/19/2008 11:43
Consumer whore.

*strokes his rare Game Boy Micro: Limited Famicom Edition player two faceplate*

@ Wiisucks

Stop making people think you're Mxy.
Gil's Avatar
Gil at 01/19/2008 11:48
They don't look that bad, and being Japanese trading figures, they're probably only 4 inches tall anyway.
vp360's Avatar
vp360 at 01/19/2008 12:29
they look okay.
NihonTiger90's Avatar
NihonTiger90 at 01/19/2008 12:33
Eh, they look okay, I guess. Don't know if I'll be picking any up, though.
MasterMS's Avatar
MasterMS at 01/19/2008 12:44
Hey Jim I've wanted to ask you have you read the Romance of the three kingdom novels? You know the historical novels that Dynasty warriors is based on? I've read them and they are pretty good, w worth reading for a Dynasty warriors fan
The Faux-Bot's Avatar
The Faux-Bot at 01/19/2008 13:15
GRACIAL FORTLESS
Sharpless's Avatar
Sharpless at 01/19/2008 13:27
Fag.

(Kidding! <3)
ThelolDranger's Avatar
ThelolDranger at 01/19/2008 13:27
Does anyone else question the Japanese practice in the case of figures like these, of only offering them randomly? Whether it's some sacred custom, something they think is cool, or just laziness, it just seems really stupid. Am I alone in feeling this? Some Japanese customs really irk me.
Aberrant Thought's Avatar
Aberrant Thought at 01/19/2008 13:39
@ Gil

Nah They're over 5 "

I don't recall the conversation EXACTLY, but I'm imagine they're 5 to 6 inches
Aberrant Thought's Avatar
Aberrant Thought at 01/19/2008 13:40
@ Myself

You meant conversion, didn't you?

@ Myself

Yes, you dick. Thanks for pointing that out

@ myself

You know what? Go fuck yourself!
Silverhertz's Avatar
Silverhertz at 01/19/2008 14:44
@theloldranger: I do question why they do it but I think i know the answer...its so they can make like one or two good ones and the rest utter shite so that people keep buying them for the good ones
Samit Sarkar's Avatar
Samit Sarkar at 01/19/2008 14:49
Can’t sleep, clown’ll eat me

The figures reminded me of that twisted Krusty the Clown bed that Homer so lovingly crafted with his own hands for Bart. In other words, they’re creepy as hell.
winojesus's Avatar
winojesus at 01/19/2008 16:30
please jim, i have an entirely irrational penchant for pornographic images concerning women in SS unifores, but at least i have the decency to keep it to myself.
couldn't you just mash the green button ant pretend you are playing the next umpteen installments of DW?
honestly, it really refelcts badly on such an esteemed personage.
also corks.
Shin Oni's Avatar
Shin Oni at 01/19/2008 16:57
wait....i'm late on it but did I just sway Jim's eurobucks with that pic?

I win.
DarkTetsuya's Avatar
DarkTetsuya at 01/19/2008 18:28
What, no Cao Pi?

At any rate I was never much of a DW fan.
Mister Disco's Avatar
Mister Disco at 01/19/2008 18:32
I've already ordered a full set. These don't look nearly as good as the DW5 figures though :( At least there's a Gan Ning.
Churchhills Dog's Avatar
Churchhills Dog at 01/19/2008 20:06
Impressive detail.
Jim Sterling's Avatar
Jim Sterling at 01/19/2008 21:07
Mister Disco: The DW4 figures are nice looking. I ordered me a Sima Yi from Ebay a while back, still waiting for it.

MasterMS: Yeah, I read Romance of the Three Kingdoms a few years ago. Really enjoyed it.
boxhound's Avatar
boxhound at 01/19/2008 21:23
Hmmmm, not bad, not bad at all. :)
shmupdoctor's Avatar
shmupdoctor at 01/20/2008 14:07
The chick on the left has a wide face
Fading Star's Avatar
Fading Star at 01/22/2008 12:55
Not bad.
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