Ladies and gentlemen, what you are about to view is footage of perhaps the most dangerous Nintendo fan who ever lived. While
the delay of
Super Smash Bros. has affected many of us in different ways, no man had taken it worse than this wretched soul.
After this video, in which he promised to be spending Valentine's Day with Metroid, and desperately declared that Geoffrey the Giraffe has never let his ass down, he left his place of rest, armed only with a plush Yoshi doll and a Wiimote, and raided the local GameStop where he was able to fatally bruise one employee and a small puppy outside before being shot by police. He was declared "pathetic on arrival," later that evening at the local hospital. He never got to take down Solid Snake with a Smash attack, like he'd longed to all his life.
This is a wake up call to Nintendo. This young man's life of wandering around his house, naked except for a red hat and a raccoon tail, was cut tragically short and it needn't have been, if Super Smash Bros. Brawl had only been released on schedule. His parents must live with the knowledge that their son released a video such as this on The Internet and that he died wearing Princess Peach underpants, all because of one game not hitting store shelves when it should have.
Was this a joke that went too far, or one man's sincere obsession leading him down a dark and demented path? We may never know the truth, but we do know that Brawl is going to be late, and that many more may die before this nightmare ends.
[Thanks to
Ico's blog, and my good colleague Hamza, who was too distraught to write this post]
Jim Sterling serves as reviews editor for Destructoid.com, head of the Podtoid podcast, and produces a number of news stories, original features, one-of-a-kind videos. With his passionate argumentative style, controversial opinions, harsh delivery, and dedication to brutal honesty Sterling is a name that you can't help but recognize.
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Contest:
7:23 PM on 01.16.2008
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He almost burst out in laughter half-way through
Has anyone seen the one on gametrailers where its some 360 fanboy who starts off the video saying "Whats up, Joey Juice here" yeah... I stopped when he called himself "Joey Juice"
It's not that serious, take it easy guy.
I may actually try to ease the pain of brawl's delay. Yeah I'm a sad man, gimmme teh QQz.
that was neat..lol.
fake or not, its still messed up cause I'm sure there are people out there like that.
OH, snap!
Sorry I couldn't resist it, theres no way thats serious!Unless the guy turns of to be like the next Son of Sam or something...
It is still classic, though, although I can see fanboys acting like that in RL
Hell yeah I did."
Wow, this is hilarious. But we all know this is what we truly feel inside...
Nothing beats the dude in the showere with a bandaid in his beard ranting about the wii.
"Come on Nintendo! If you want the Wii to compete, it has to have Xbox Live!"
Dear potential internet comedians: THE CONCEPT DOESNT MAKE IT FUNNY, >YOU< HAVE TO BE FUNNY FOR YOUR CONCEPT TO BE FUNNY.
This guy is going to pay for pussy for the rest of his life...
P.s.
He had sex with his former "Male" @ TRU boss in order to get brawl 6 days early? LOL!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fxq7HWX7dqw
I hate this man.
another thing he did.
I want to punch him in the face.
I miss that guy, srsly.
Can 95% guarantee this is intentional amateur comedy and not a cry for help. Well, can't say it's not a cry for help honestly, but the first part sticks.
The Chad Warren response was hilarious though.
Anyway, he maybe could have sold it if he didn't say he slept with his boss.
But I'm just a nub -- what would I know?
Go see for yourself.
http://smashboards.com/showthread.php?p=3719849
"Let's end the delay"? PLEASE.