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Prove your worth and win a badass Darksiders sword photo

Earlier this morning I showed off the ludicrous Chaos Eater sword that THQ sent me in the mail. Those of you who could concentrate on anything other than how fat I am were immediately impressed by what is clearly the ultimate swag. You want one. Obviously you do. You can win one, too!

Yes, we have a second Darksiders sword to give away, courtesy of THQ. All you have to do in order to win it is to prove that you are manly enough to handle its power. A sword like this is too awesome to be wielded by any normal human. You need to demonstrate your martial prowess, physical strength and integrity in order to be chosen. 

The manner of proof will be entirely up to you. You can use a photo, a video, anything you like. However, a sword this badass WILL require you to put some effort in. I will only award this blade to a champion of virtue true. So, think you have the power? Prove it! You have until Thursday, January 14 to do so!

For obvious reasons (being that it's a giant and heavy sword), this contest is US only. I know, that sucks.






Contests Official Rules



No Purchase Required to Enter or Win

1. Eligibility: Destructoid.com contests are usually provided by sponsors who, due to customs and shipping costs (yay budgets), often limit participation to individuals who are legal residents of the fifty (50) United States (unless otherwise stated) and are 12 years of age. We encourage our overseas friends to be super sneaky and make a friend in the United States who can receive your prize, and then you two figure out the customs/logistics. Be cautious about who you trust, obviously. Employees of destructoid.com, their advertising or promotion agencies, those involved in the production, development, implementation or handling of Contests, any agents acting for, or on behalf of the above entities, their respective parent companies, officers, directors, subsidiaries, affiliates, licensees, service providers, prize suppliers any other person or entity associated with the Contests (collectively “Contest Entities”) and/or the immediate family (spouse, parents, siblings and children) and household members (whether related or not) of each such employee, are *not* eligible and will be fired and publicly beaten if are caught participating. All U.S., federal, state and local and regulations apply.

2. Agreement to Official Rules: Participation in the Contest constitutes entrant’s full and unconditional agreement to and acceptance of these Official Rules and the decisions of the Sponsor, which are final and binding. Winning a prize is contingent upon fulfilling all requirements set forth herein.

3. Entry Period: The start and end dates/times of each Contest (the “Entry Period”) will be posted on the applicable Contest site.

4. Entry: To enter a Contest, follow the instructions on the Contest site. Submission will result in one (1) entry. The number of times you can enter the Contest will be posted on the applicable Contest site. The use of any agencies or automated software to submit entries will void all entries submitted by that person.

5. Drawing: At the conclusion of the Entry Period, we will select the names of the potential winners in a random drawing of all eligible entries received during each Entry Period. The number of winners to be selected in a specific Contest will be posted on the applicable Contest site. The odds of being selected as a potential winner depend on the number of eligible entries received during the Entry Period. Potential winners will be contacted via email and will be asked to provide their full name, age and mailing address within a specified time period. If a potential winner does not respond within the timeframe stated in the notification email, we may select an alternate potential winner in his/her place at random from all entries received during the Entry Period. Limit one (1) prize per household per Contest.

6. Requirements of the Potential Winners: Winners will be notified by the e-mail address associated with their account on destructoid.com.com and/or receive a Private Message on destructoid.com.com or through a Twitter Direct Message/Facebook message. Winners have five (5) days from the original message alerting them of their winnings to respond and claim their prize. If no winner comes forward within five business days, the prize will be forfeited and raffled again where Destructoid's hardcore fans are most active (forums/community blogs/facebook group).

7. Prize(s): The prize(s) (including each prize’s approximate retail value) available to be won in a specific Contest will be posted on the Contest site. No cash or other substitution may be made, except by the Sponsor, who reserves the right to substitute a prize with another prize of equal or greater value if the prize is not available for any reason as determined by the Sponsor in its sole discretion. The winners are responsible for any taxes and fees associated with receipt or use of a prize. Prizes will be mailed between 1 to 45 business days after winners have replied with their required info.

8. General Conditions: In the event that the operation, security, or administration of the Contest is impaired in any way for any reason, including, but not limited to fraud, virus, or other technical problem, the Sponsor may, in its sole discretion, either: (a) suspend the Contest to address the impairment and then resume the Contest in a manner that best conforms to the spirit of these Official Rules; or (b) award the prizes at random from among the eligible entries received up to the time of the impairment. The Sponsor reserves the right in its sole discretion to disqualify any individual it finds to be tampering with the entry process or the operation of the Contest or to be acting in violation of these Official Rules or in an unsportsmanlike or disruptive manner. Any attempt by any person to undermine the legitimate operation of the Contest may be a violation of criminal and civil law, and, should such an attempt be made, the Sponsor reserves the right to seek damages from any such person to the fullest extent permitted by law. The Sponsor’s failure to enforce any term of these Official Rules shall not constitute a waiver of that provision. In case of a dispute as to the owner of an entry, entry will be deemed to have been submitted by the authorized account holder of the screen name from which the entry is made. The authorized account holder is defined as the natural person who is assigned to an e-mail address by an Internet access provider, online service provider, or other organization responsible for assigning e-mail addresses for the domain associated with the submitted e-mail address.

9.Release and Limitations of Liability: By participating in the Contest, entrants agree to release and hold harmless the Contest Entities from and against any claim or cause of action arising out of participation in the Contest or receipt or use of any prize, including, but not limited to: (a) unauthorized human intervention in the Contest; (b) technical errors related to computers, servers, providers, or telephone or network lines; (c) printing errors; (d) lost, late, postage-due, misdirected, or undeliverable mail; (e) errors in the administration of the Contest or the processing of entries; or (f) injury or damage to persons or property which may be caused, directly or indirectly, in whole or in part, from entrant’s participation in the Contest or receipt of any prize. Entrant further agrees that in any cause of action, the Contest Entities’ liability will be limited to the cost of entering and participating in the Contest, and in no event shall the Contest Entities be liable for attorney’s fees. Entrant waives the right to claim any damages whatsoever, including, but not limited to, punitive, consequential, direct, or indirect damages.

10. Disputes: Except where prohibited, entrant agrees that any and all disputes, claims and causes of action arising out of, or connected with, the Contest or any prize awarded shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action. All issues and questions concerning the construction, validity, interpretation and enforceability of these Official Rules, entrant’s rights and obligations, or the rights and obligations of the Sponsors in connection with the Contest, shall be governed by, and construed in accordance with, the laws of the Commonwealth of Virginia, without giving effect to any choice of law or conflict of law rules (whether of the Commonwealth of Virginia or any other jurisdiction), which would cause the application of the laws of any jurisdiction other than the Commonwealth of Virginia.

11. Contest Results: To enter the contest without needing to buy/sell anything or request a written copy of the name of the winners, send a self-addressed stamped envelope (stating the specific Contest you are requesting the winners for) to destructoid.com Contest Winners 260 King Street Suite 883, San Francisco California 94107. We run many contests, so please be specific in what you are requesting. Winner requests must be received within thirty (30) days from the end date of the applicable contest (they're always posted on our site though). Winners are usually posted the day following the contest on our contest section.

Lastly, Destructoid has the right to kick your ass and take away your prize if you are a total dickhead, so be cool and don't kick any puppies on your way to victory. Have fun with our contests and be a good sport when you win or lose. Remember: First you get the power, then you get the money, then get the baby.

 




More gaming stories around the web. Got news? Submit yours to tips@destructoid.com

Jim Sterling serves as reviews editor for Destructoid.com, head of the Podtoid podcast, and produces a number of news stories, original features, one-of-a-kind videos. With his passionate argumentative style, controversial opinions, harsh delivery, and dedication to brutal honesty Sterling is a name that you can't help but recognize. Likes PS2, iPod Touch, Silent Hill 2, Metal Gear Solid, Dynasty Warriors 3 Meet the rest of the team



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264 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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next 50 comments

Tremulant's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 17:03
Tremulant
Being from the UK is SHIT
Tremulant's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 17:05
Tremulant
Ps you are fat and Sony bias
Mr Andy Dixon's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 17:05
Mr Andy Dixon
I'm used to swinging around something equally as large.

As the saying goes, the proof is in the penis.

Need I say more?
Astalano's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 17:07
Astalano
Europe loves you too Jim.
el_chack's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 17:09
el_chack
US only. That sucks! :(
watermanx's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 17:09
watermanx
God fucking damn it
US only sucks
its a SEABEAR's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 17:10
its a SEABEAR
every day right after i wake up i go into the woods and find a grizzly bear to wrestle. The outcome is always the same. i lay the smackdown and powerbomb it through the earth. i have done that so often that now the bears have overtaken people in china as the dominant species. i have no pictures because my lumberjack beard is so manly its the only thing you can ever see in photos.
RudyChan's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 17:11
RudyChan
I am not manly enough for that sword. ;_;
PenKaizen's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 17:12
PenKaizen
Goddammit fucking US.
matty125's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 17:14
matty125
Hey, you dopes got Vib Ribbon, so hush! :P
Halidar's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 17:14
Halidar
I'm in Canada, same thing right? RIGHT?! I thought not....
J Murda's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 17:14
J Murda
god damn that's a huge bitch!

and I aint talking about the sword.
PappaDukes's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 17:15
PappaDukes
Who would win in an eating contest, Sterling or Linde?
the Company's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 17:19
the Company
I might actually try to compete in this.
I would like a stupid-huge sword of my own for no particular purpose.

I'll have to get creative, I'm a pretty fit individual, but I'm more of a pretty boy than a manly man - what with my proper hair-cut, fitted dress shirts and suit jackets.

This will be a challenge. Good luck, everyone.
Astalano's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 17:19
Astalano
Eating what?
ClockworkHorror's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 17:21
ClockworkHorror
Ah well... maybe there'll be another way to win a giant sword. Or maybe it'll be on Amazon sooner or later.
HawkxSx's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 17:24
HawkxSx
So how do you enter the contest? Mind powers??
Fanatism's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 17:33
Fanatism
I can't, so Jim needs to win this.
Super Drybones's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 17:37
Super Drybones
Can i keep my shirt on and still win?
BerserkerX's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 17:46
BerserkerX
USA baby I want!
Beyamor's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 17:48
Beyamor
Canada is presumably excluded due to the difficulty of choosing a single manly individual as our country is populated exclusively by moose-wrestling bearded lumberjacks? Darn, I was even wearing my lumberjacket today.
topcatyo's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 17:52
topcatyo
I managed to beat Jesus in a drinking game.
Sword please.
Morgan Kent's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 17:54
Morgan Kent
To get my black belt in Kung-Fu I did a 48 hour test with no food or sleep. It went non-stop for all of those two days and included a 14 mile run uphill, over 3 hours of sparring, 45 forms (including those with weapons bigger than that sword), and lots of other physically taxing activities. Honestly I could write about all of it for a long time.

Hopefully that's manly enough to win it.
Chicken008's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 18:00
Chicken008
needs moar canada contests
Darren Nakamura's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 18:01
Darren Nakamura
Just call the contest over and send the thing to Brad Nicholson.
MurderMamba's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 18:02
MurderMamba
I once fought Brad Nicholson and lost, but just barely. Also, I've gone to the gym 4 times since saturday.
GameinAngel's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 18:03
GameinAngel
i was gonna shop my face onto the crusader from Oblivion Nights of the nine expansion... till i read it was us only... so there!! you'll never see that and it's on Jim's head!!
but realy who is a better example of martial prowess, physical strength and integrity??
LsTr Of SmG's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 18:08
LsTr Of SmG
@ Morgan Kent,

Not nearly manly enough! Brad Nicholson can do that in his sleep and is so manly that that isn't a contradiction!
ToxicFruit's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 18:11
ToxicFruit
yey for us only..(sarcasm) but I will still send in something just for fun.
AceFlibble's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 18:19
AceFlibble
I'm manly enough that I regularly wear make up, nail varnish, heeled shoes/boots and skirts in public without shame or embarrassment and not for any ''ironic'' or other ''joke'' reason. I am that manly and so secure in my manly woman-shagging heterosexual ways that I happily, of my own accord, challenge the stereotypical gender roles on a daily basis because, as such a pinnacle of manliness, I find no shame in crossdressing for comfort. Now, wouldn't y'all love to give a transvestite a big sword? Yes? Great!

'Cept I'm in the UK, fuck all these contests, America's all a bunch of fags anyway.
Czech Monster's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 18:25
Czech Monster
Jim, you are not fat. Just a whole lot of a man!
Frankenson's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 18:29
Frankenson
Fuck off US!
Ferlion's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 18:37
Ferlion


The only thing that goes well with this giant awesome bod is a giant awesome sword! >:D
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 18:52
AngelsDontBurn
LOL @ the butthurt out of town folks. Bahahaha.
SnatchTease's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 19:00
SnatchTease

I got your manly for you...
greenabobo's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 19:07
greenabobo
i need this more than all of you put together!

where the heck is the entry form????
Super Drybones's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 19:31
Super Drybones
I have an idea, what's the manliest song in existence?????
J Murda's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 19:45
J Murda
@Super Drybones: it's raining men.
Gelatin Abomination's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 19:46
Gelatin Abomination
Okay. I'm not skilled with photoshop or a video camera or anything like that. HOWEVER: I am manly, and am very good at writing about my manly exploits. So, here's a list of manly, manly things I would be willing to do to get this sword.

1. I would be willing to dress up like a ninja (thus masking my identity), kidnap the president, then get back into my street clothes and SAVE the president, and collect the reward money, which may or may not be in burgers.
2. I would stick my man-bits into a running jet engine. The jet engine would explode, of course, because the propellers would get jammed on something of that hardness.
3. I would re-enact IN PUBLIC the entire plotline of Cave Story by myself. I know this isn't very manly, but I had to suck up to Anthony Burch.
4. I would journey across antartica in nothing but a toilet-paper loincloth that I stole from an outhouse. Then, I would meet Kurt Russel, who is battling the Thing, of course, and we would hi-five. I would then walk off, determined to continue my harrowing journey. I would do this in the artic, but I'm afraid of being ripped to shreds by the Warrior who lives there.
5. I would single-handedly assassinate Uwe Boll and Bobby Kotic AT THE SAME TIME.

That is all. I hope that I am a bad enough dude to win that sword.
mrplow8's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 19:49
mrplow8
Doesn't Brad Nicholson win this contest by default?
DunKology's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 19:55
DunKology
Screw you!

(with love from the UK. :'()
Cainraw's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 20:02
Cainraw
USA!USA!USA!USA!USAUSA!USA!USA!USA!USAUSA!USA!USA!USA!USAUSA!USA!USA!USA!USAUSA!USA!USA!USA!USA!


what is this about again?
NeoGreenLantern's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 20:11
NeoGreenLantern

Give me the sword or the pyramids get the Rampage treatment!
Rockefellow's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 20:24
Rockefellow
Hey Jim, did you ever send out those Demon's Souls posters from a few weeks ago?
Davedude's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 20:31
Davedude
If you wish for a world rid of the Chaos taint, hand that sword to me. It eats Chaos, and I am a Space Marine. Together, we shall purge the heretics! (If the sword whispers to me about impossible promises and incredible powers if I submit my soul to the gods of chaos, I will have to destroy it. Such is the duty of a vigilant and incorruptible Astartes.) Also, that would make for a sick Halloween outfit.
RiotMonster's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 20:39
RiotMonster
I'm not above begging for this sword.
IV Backstab MC's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 20:47
IV Backstab MC
@jim. Obviously you didn't read my previous comment I offered and I quote" if you give me that sword I will literally suck your dick right now, I will cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipe, and swallow the gravy." So what do you say jim, I really want that sword you sexy maverick renegade
Crunshii's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 21:03
Crunshii
I'm sorry Jim, but a simple reply is not enough for how bad I want that sword now that you have shown me it's existence. Please follow this link (in the Cblogs) just so you can see how bad I want that sword...

http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Crunshii/jim-i-am-manly-enough-for-chaos-eater--159842.phtml
Billy Clark's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 21:03
Billy Clark
I have one true reason I need this sword of pure EPICNESS!
The Zombie Horde is currently assaulting my house and I ran out of gas for my Chainsaw and the last 100 zombies I killed was with a picture of Chuck Norris. I need this sword because I might fall asleep from boredom of ripping heads off and my family will be eaten alive.
Crunshii's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/07/2010 21:04
Crunshii
also i'll take the #50 post >.>;
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