Quantcast
Promoted Blog: Suckers! I call dibs on Claptrap - Destructoid

DestructoidJapanatorTomopopFlixist



Promoted Blog: Suckers! I call dibs on Claptrap


1:30 PM on 09.22.2012
Promoted Blog: Suckers! I call dibs on Claptrap photo



[For his entry into our Gaige dibs blog SephirothX went a different direction: a decidedly more Claptrap direction. I guess this just goes to show that you don't have to follow the rules to win. --Spencer Hayes.]

While everybody else has been calling dibs on their Grey Fox knock-offs, bright haired talking mammary glands, boring turret whores, and disproportionate steroid midgets, I had the perfect chance to call dibs on the undisputed best character in all of Borderlands 2.

I call dibs on Claptrap, suck it.

He has the best lines in the game

By default, I am now the funniest character in the game because I have the best lines. Pinsof even said so in his review. Claptrap is the comedic glue that holds everything together, he’s the Agent Coulson to Borderlands’ Avengers. Without me you’re all a bunch of silly cartoon characters stealing other peoples sweet guns, with me you guys have some form of motivation.

Everybody looks forward to being with me 

Because I am the best character around, that means everyone looks forward to being with me. What’s better than being the guy everybody wants to hang out with? Nothing, that’s what! Everybody loves me so much that they throw a birthday party for me within the game itself. No other character gets a birthday thrown for them!  

Claptrap plays himself 

Since I’m playing as Claptrap, that means the game automatically plays as Claptrap for me. It’s like Mass Effect 3’s story mode, except not as stupid. This means that while the rest of you get your greasy meat hands all over your controller I’m saving my energy for more awesome things like drinking beer and eating sandwiches. Did you not catch that?! Beer without interrupting Borderlands. This automatically kicks up Claptrap’s gameplay value tremendously, because beer!

Built in break time!

Claptrap doesn’t accompany you all of the time, which means that Borderlands 2 developers were kind enough to include built in break-times into the game for all Claptrap players (because hey, all that beer has to come out again sometime). The rest of you people who get your hand-sweat onto your controllers thanks to your slimy meat-hooks have to actually pause your game in order to take a break, which stops the game for anyone else playing too. That is automatically terrible, and lofts Claptrap even further beyond the other characters in terms of overall value. Being able to take a break from Borderlands but not have the game stop progressing is an amazing innovation that only a Claptrap player can truly understand.

Nobody f*cks with The Trap 

You know all of those wanted posters you see for the other Borderlands 2 characters, those ones that have stupidly high rewards on them for each person? You’ll probably notice that Claptrap doesn’t have one of those for him, at least that we know off. There’s a good reason for this – because nobody fucks with Claptrap. Remember that “New Robot Revolution” DLC for the first game that had Interplanetary Ninja Assassin trying to destroy humanity? Yeah, the reason there’s no price tag on Claptrap’s head is because everybody knows there isn’t a single human alive dumb enough to actually go after it.

 






Comments not appearing? Anti-virus apps like Avast or some browser extensions can cause this.
Easy fix: Add   [*].disqus.com   to your software's white list. Tada! Happy comments time again.

Did you know? You can now get daily or weekly email notifications when humans reply to your comments.








Win your choice of console from Destructoid! in Destructoid's Hangs on LockerDome

Destructoid Originals

5:30 PM on 08.16.2014
Win a copy of Dragon's Crown from Radio Dtoid!

Radio D is Destructoid's official community-focused podcast! Join Aaron "Mxy" Yost (Forums Admin), ConorElsea.com (US Community Manager), Beccy Caine (EU Community Manger), Kyle MacGregor (Contributor), and Mr Andy Dixon as t...more



12:00 PM on 08.14.2014
Does Tomb Raider's timed exclusivity make you want an Xbox One?

Rise of the Tomb Raider launches next fall as a timed Xbox exclusive, and it will be fascinating to see how that affects Microsoft's fortunes. There are millions of folks around the world keen on experiencing Lara Croft's nex...more



4:00 PM on 08.13.2014
Sony does more for Vita than it gets credit for, but it's okay to be frustrated

A lot of people seemed disappointed when Sony closed its gamescom press conference without much mention of the PlayStation Vita. And it isn't difficult to understand why. The struggling portable seemed like an afterthought ye...more



View all Destructoid Originals






Back to Top




All content is yours to recycle through our Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing requiring attribution. Our communities are obsessed with videoGames, movies, anime, and toys.

Living the dream since March 16, 2006

Advertising on destructoid is available: Please contact them to learn more