I hate iPhone games, but I like them in theory.

As things stand, the iPhone is the breeding ground for a new generation of game designers, lazier than any that has come before it. One that uses unnecessary leveling mechanics, generative elements, randomly-based variables, unlockables, and novelty controls to immediately touch the pleasure-centers of the brain, in the same way Micheal Bay or a bowl of sugar do. It all leaves me feeling empty, used, and a bit sickened in reflection.

When it comes to games, I crave absolute control, rules that are to be learned, and the ability to improve my performance every step of the way. ZiGGURAT gives me all this and an endless erection that has begun to frighten me.