The President of Pokémon USA, Akira Chiba, will be resigning at the end of the year to pursue other opportunites. It's likely that you've never heard of Chiba, nor even care, because right now you are thinking about the fact that Pokémon USA exists, and it has a President and everything.
Also, you are most likely wishing, even believing, that the company is actually run by Pokémon, and that Mudkips in business suits handle the day-to-day running of Nintendo's popular handheld franchise. Sadly, you are wrong and such fanciful imaginings will never be true. With that in mind, a spokesman for Pokémon USA had this to say:
Pika, pika pika. Pikachuuuu. Pika. Pikachu, chu pika. Chu, chu chu chu, pika pika chu. Pikachu chu pika. Pika pika. Pika pika pika. Pikachu, pika pika pikachu. Chu. Furthermore, pika pika pika. Pikachu, pika chu chu pikachu pika pika chu pikachu pika. Pika pika. Pika.
Kenji Okubo will replace Akira Chiba when his tenure ends. As is Pokémon USA tradition, Kenji will be handed a leaf stone, upon which moment he evolves into a President.
[Thanks to Aerox, who isn't a Pokémon]
Contest:
2:38 PM on 12.11.2007 | 
"Blastoiseeeeee"
make sure to give that leaf stone to him during the day or else he aint evolvin.
Furthermore, pika.
I fucking lol'd.
Hard.
very funny.
If anyone was interested, that is the correct way to end an article.
Ah, Jim. You > Sex with children.
Do you... get a badge?
best destructoid story ever.
STORY.
EVARRRRRRRRRR.
Jim, have my babies?
That's how it's done. I would've nominated Pickachu as the new president because I agree with his policies on electric utilities but oh well. Congratulations new guy.
wat
MUAHAHAHAHA!!