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Presenting the pinnacle of gaming controllers: Your schlong photo

I suspect just about everyone has made the joke comparing male genitals to a joystick at some point. Some people take it further than others.

Take the guys at SF Media Labs, for example. They have devised a way to transform a tadger into an input device suited for more than insemination. Using a sensor ring, the controller can determine whether you're tilting John Thomas up, down, left or right. And when you include the optional "firing" attachment, every stroke of the purple-headed warrior equates to a push of the fire button.

In its current form, it isn't good for games with more thrust than Atari 2600 titles, although I suspect playing Custer's Revenge with one's manhood would do a lot for immersion. If you're interested in trying this out on yourself (or a friend), full instructions are available at SF Media Labs' website.

Click past the jump for a NSFW demonstration video (no actual penises displayed).

[Via Kinky Gamer]








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Conrad Zimmerman is Destructoid's News Editor and home to the busiest mustache in the gaming press. An amateur historian and pop culture fanatic, Conrad possesses a nearly limitless wealth of videogame factoids and a passion for the power of games to teach, inspire and entertain. He enjoys reading, writing and turning things which should be fun into work. Likes Mega Man 2, Arcade Games, Books about games, Board games, Having cultural interests that aren't games Meet the rest of the team



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26 comments | showing # 1 to 26
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grafkhun's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/09/2009 23:35
grafkhun
So that's the official dtoid controller, alright, I get it now.
Barcode's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/09/2009 23:47
Barcode
Like I did in someone else's blog who posted this:



However, the idea is innovative, but pushing the limits I guess.......

actually I did think about it more today, when I told my friends while working on the car....

It would be better if your girlfriend was doing all the work trying to play the game..... :P
FlozaxRollins's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/09/2009 23:53
FlozaxRollins
It's like Willy Wonka (or Wanka...sorry....) "What will they think of next?!"
RiotMonster's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2009 00:01
RiotMonster
Desecrating the sanctity of joysticks..
=]
Banana Kid's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2009 00:01
Banana Kid
This is a kind of retarded I can get behind.
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2009 00:02
mix
"Gameplay continues until orgasm is achieved"

I don't think I could stand playing that game for longer than 45mins, looks boring.


;)
lastSKYsamurai's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2009 00:07
lastSKYsamurai
Ah, & what would be the re-load button? Actually, let’s see them develop Donkey Kong jungle beat for a ladies bottom. oooWh, Sassy!
Vitamin Awesome's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2009 00:08
Vitamin Awesome
Custer's Revenge just got a little hotter for me.
flabzilla's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2009 00:21
flabzilla
That guy is living the dream.
pedrovay2003's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2009 00:23
pedrovay2003
Wow... I can't believe this is real.
Baskervi11e's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2009 00:33
Baskervi11e
Yes but the real question should be is it one size fits all?

-__-
Baskervi11e's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2009 00:34
Baskervi11e
Needs moar dual shock.
drocinktown's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2009 00:35
drocinktown
is the controller dish washer safe lol
Paul Soth's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2009 00:36
Paul Soth
The last line is a horrible, horrible lie.
lazyhoboguy's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2009 00:46
lazyhoboguy
wow just wow
Kaykay's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2009 00:53
Kaykay


soon my prettys she'll be here soooooooon
mistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2009 00:55
mistic
Needs moar dual shock.

true true...

however this seems like great fun while wanking :-p
michiyoyoshiku's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2009 01:32
michiyoyoshiku
WHAT

THE

FUCK

I use my penis for alot of things...Gaming isn't one of them
BluDesign's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2009 01:42
BluDesign
They already have force feedback options for this. NICE.

I can't wait for motion sensing so I don't have to use my hands.
TheToiletDuck's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2009 03:12
TheToiletDuck
Yeah but the thing is you'd fire towards the first few guys then need to rest for a few minutes while you.. err reload.

ha!ha!....premature!!
Char Aznable's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2009 07:37
Char Aznable
I wish you could un-watch some things.
Demtor's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2009 07:54
Demtor


This man is not impressed.
MechaMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2009 12:16
MechaMonkey
SFW DILDO
AClockWorkMelon's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2009 17:44
AClockWorkMelon
lol ppl think this is real.
rpbowlinggod's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 13:15
rpbowlinggod
well done on using the monty python song in the article
sjmck's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2009 23:37
sjmck
Looks like a joke to me.
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