10:24 PM on 06.29.2007
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Nex
Uwe Boll, the wackiest German since Colonel Klink, recently conducted an interview with Deutsch games site Area Games in which he says the final words you will ever read before your eyeballs burst from their sockets and your face spontaneously combusts out of sheer incredulity. I'm going to quote him, but please, make sure any children have left the room, and remain seated for the duration of the quote.
POSTAL is my final statement. You can’t make a more radical movie.
At the film market in Cannes POSTAL got STANDING OVATIONS [capitalisation by Boll]. No other film has ever been applauded there since it’s all business people who attend the screenings. It’s one of the best films of all time!
There is no way you can ignore POSTAL - it’s one of the funniest and most important films of the last decade!
You guys still with me? Yeah, you read that correctly. He not only claims Postal -- a film based on a game in which you have the option to use a cat's anus as a silencer while murdering innocent bystanders -- is one of the "best films of all time", he then goes on to say it's "one of the funniest and most important films of the last decade". I realize there's a certain level of hyperbole that directors have to add to their own work, but Mr. Boll seems to have confused "superlative self-praise for one's own work" with "spend a week snorting cocaine out of the skulls of dead babies".
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Contest:
also that duck rules with its little hat
beastie boys also rule, especially when viewing dtoid on the ps3 via the big screen. [:
I can't take his shit anymore. When they make movies of games they are almost always raped of their origin, but Uwe Boll takes it to a whole new level. He needs to go.
By the way, I have seen his movies and they are truly garbage. He manages to insult both gamers and movie buffs at the same time.
i might have watched it.
he really does need to die, or quit making movies, or quit making movies suck. i'm so fucking mad that he's directing far cry, he's destroying one of my favorite games :(
Whatever!
That's the first time I've heard that suggestion, and I think you might be absolutely right. Coleman Francis is an MST3K legend, if I'm not mistaken they've featured every single movie he ever directed. :)
Hey, House of the Dead 2 was actually pretty decent, but just not as a House of the Dead movie. It was pretty much just a straight up zombie flick, go into with that thought in mind and you might enjoy it. By the way, Uwe Boll had nothing to do with that one at all. It was given to someone else to do.
I never wanted to see it because I thought it would be shit, but then I caught it on Sci-Fi and thought it was actually a pretty cool zombie movie. I didn't know the name of it at first, I just saw zombies and went "Must watch." I thought it was pretty decent and thought hey Uwe Boll made another shitty House of the Dead but it was a decent zombie flick. So I bought it on DVD and they have a little slip in there that talks about how bad the first one was and that they didn't want Uwe Boll to make the sequel or some shit like that.
MST3k for the win. Always.
I'll elaborate on my reasoning: Ed Wood my have been a very inept director, but he was still trying to be original. The man had original ideas, he just had absolutely no idea how to articulate them. That plus the fact that his films had pretty much no budget made for some very unintentionally funny movies.
Coleman Francis on the other hand was trying to take advantage of fads and trends in films. Monster movies, the Cuban threat and Skydiving, all things big at the time. Francis saw a money making opportunity and took it. And that's where I believe Francis and Boll meet.
Watching House of the Dead, I saw "bargain bin" versions of the Matrix' "bullet-time" and attempt to copy scenes from other action films (which would of course be scenes used in the trailers.) That coupled with the increase in video game popularity, cheap film licenses and that goddamn tax loophole made for some very Francis-like movies/money-grabs, in my opinion.
He's the Ed Wood of our times.
But I refuse to give the retard a break. I didn't honestly think it was possible to take House of the Dead and make the storyline and any method of artistic value look any worse. I saw the film and I can honestly say I was wrong.
Thus far, the only success Uwe Boll has had is the ability to become a laughingstock.. Until he can actually pull something above mediocrity off, I have no faith that this man can ever produce anything along the lines of decent.
Stylized Zombie Shooting?.... This thread was the first time I have ever heard these words put together... Amazing.
That's an insult to Coleman Francis. At least he gave us "coffee" and Tor Johnson and that woman who looked like Meg White. In hell, Coleman waits to sit his giant, moist body on top of Uwe Boll's and dangle loogies over his little bald head.
You know, honestly? It wasn't that bad. It wasn't great, but it I sat through it all, which is more than I can say for Resident Evil.
He also gave us Cherokee Jack. But I have tried to watch Francis' "Skydivers" without Mike and the Bots and it gave me a headache. Just like House of the Dead.