The PlayStation 2 Eyetoy is infamous for its ability to bring the party games to the sofa, but, unfortunately, it does not ship with a bubbly gamer girl. Generous souls have caught footage of some in the wild and it is just a slice of cheesecake fun. Taken out of context, the video above could very well be mistaken for amateur mime frustrated with her invisible box, and I don't mean that in an anatomical sense (pervs). For a hardcore gamer, the infectuous song in the background doth reveal what is really going on -- this is the unmistakable tune from Play Volume 1: The Wishi Washi event, a game where you must wipe virtual dirt off your television's glass as if you were a window washer scaling a building. The other minigames are fantastic as well, but the hilarious vintage-style song makes this event the signature experience of the game for many gamers. Cute ones even.
Having sung its praises, the Eyetoy has not escaped my living room collection. Niero can pound this game and will spontaneously insist on speaking in third person when doing so. My secret? It's rather humiliatingly efficient if you can actually manage to swim like a frog glued vertically to a chair by drawing circles with your arms *and* legs in alternating form. Need another uncomfortable visual? Imagine a turned over roach, and that's how I roll after the third Corona. Having done his extensive field research, Niero has come to the conclusion that men should never be allowed to play this game and women should be filmed playing this game as often as possible. Please review his case studies and draw your own conclusions:
Representing the women's team: Behold the energetic kinetics of Lauren's full body Wishi Washi performance. She's loving every minute of it, and so will anyone who watches -- especially if illegal perky blondes are your bag, baby.
Representing the men's team: Listen to someone piss themselves watching this man as he restrains a feat of pent up flamboyance, which instead just channeled into his agonized face. But he does not run. Commendable, but Lauren destroyed you buddy. That also goes for you too, Groudon. (Chunky McChunkerson also complained that it was a workout.)
No contest, fellas -- chalk another one up for blondes, smiles, and sports bras.
Yanier "Niero" Gonzalez is Destructoid's founder and guy-in-the-helmet.After 2,000+ stories posted and years of starting trouble on the front page he's now busy behind the scenes building the future of Destructoid. His story is our motto: "Living The Dream".
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3:16 PM on 09.30.2006
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