You might have checked out developer Last Day of Work's previous downloadables, Fish Tycoon and Virtual Villagers (for all you hoity-toity Mac folk). Or, you may have played some other dev's game with "tycoon" in the title -- Roller Coaster Tycoon, Transport Tycoon, Railroad Tycoon or Zoo Tycoon, perhaps. In any case, being a tycoon is a big deal. It conjures the image of fervent rising stars on the up-and-up, sporting smart new suits and gesturing passionately in meetings. When you're a tycoon, you're a man with a plan, a sharp arrow on the way to the bullseye of explosive success. You've got a ruthless drive ready to cut down any threats to your empire; you've got brass cojones, and possibly a waterslide flowing with petroleum and dollars. Maybe even yen.
For all you young ladder-climbers living the dream with a twinkle in your eye, Last Day of Work has a new tycoon game for you to enjoy. It's called Plant Tycoon -- that green you smell? It's not money. It's grass. Hit the jump to read more.
Plant Tycoon promises to "let budding botanists grow a leafy empire," and features:
-Dozens of seed varieties, plant species and gardening tools to work with.
-A wide variety of collectible insects.
-New ways to organize your budding business.
-Gorgeous, all new artwork with detailed dynamically-generated plants.
-Numerous purchasable items allow players to customize their nursery with fountains, statuettes, and more.
-A well-stocked gardening lab offers new chemicals for fun experimentation.
-Introducing pruning to customize the look of your creations.
-Original soundtracks and ambient sound effects.
Introducing pruning! Seriously? ...sounds about as fun as watching grass grow (except for the part about experimenting with fun chemicals and "garden plants"). Honestly, when the market starts demanding gardening sims, it tells you it's probably time for some people to take the two or three steps into their backyard and get some occasional fresh air.
But this isn't just any plant game -- it's Plant Tycoon, demonstrating that cut-throat entrepreneurship and high-stakes business-building isn't just for theme parks or transit systems. Let's be tycoons at whatever we do -- hey, Destructoid, we could make a game like that. I've already got some ideas that I think will be, as Donald Trump would say, hyuuuge.
Cleaning Tycoon: Cleaning Tycoon lets you tap into the thrill of owning an overpriced shoebox with no air conditioning in the middle of the ghetto! There are a wide variety of discount cleaning supplies, and dust that accumulates dynamically! New bathroom feature lets you scrub tubs and toilets! Will you be a success-- or end up in the ER with salmonella?
Kitchen Tycoon: Your rocket to riches starts here, with a wide array of pots, pans, and even spatulas! In Kitchen Tycoon, you manage a full sink of implements to be washed, while a new microwave feature lets you cook OR defrost! Organize your cookware and turn up the heat as you watch water boil in realtime.
Filing Tycoon: As a clerical assistant, you're essential personnel. Experience a fast-paced environment in the complex world of office administration, as you alphabetize, photocopy and staple! Cutting edge AI interface lets your coworkers demean you in lifelike detail. Show them that you want to be the absolute best low-man you can be in Filing Tycoon!
Forum Tycoon: It's the Internet, and your word is law. Navigate the labyrinth of high-stakes message board chat and leap into the minefield of complex emotional war as you work your way from an ignored forum n00b to a true 371T15T, adored and feared by everyone! Featuring an evolving skill database, choose from abilities like pretending to be a hacker, posting pictures of jailbait breasts, or writing goth poetry! In Forum Tycoon, you can pwn them all!!
So now it's your turn. Make up your own AWESOME (or not) tycoon game, and let's see who's the best. It's Tycoon Game Tycoon, and this is the open beta. GO!
(Oh yeah, the screenshots for Plant Tycoon are here, too.)
Dope Wars: Tycoon Version
hootchies
Klan simulator
Orchestral simulation
Extreme Tycoon Simulator: Put yourself in the role of one man who must play tycoon games as punishment for buying too many bargain bin EXTREME! games
Minigame Tycoon: Think up the worst way to get people to waste 1 minute of their life on your creations, then try and sell them to kids,old people, and stoners for profit!
Dope Wars Tycoon: Just the same game only with cool pictures and icons!
Valet Parking Tycoon: It would be like Filing Tycoon but with a brand new engine that lets you keep all those keys organized, you would also get a bigger range of AIs, from 16 year old kid that just got his license and needs a job to the 70 year old fart that complains that something got stolen or damaged from his car.
I thought about Library Tycoon but then realized it might already be a game (or might as well be, it would fit well).
You must steal as much money from investors as possible and evade taxes but if you steal to much you may have to buy your way out of trouble and loose reputation
You're a teenage boy and, for the first time, it's just you and your parents computer... ALONE! Surf the web and find the nastiest, dirties porn you can while covering your tracks from hidden files to erased history. Keep all porn organized and hidden, a defeat the evil "Hot Coffee" mod in order to reach the special "Free Porn" heaven. Go ahead... BEAT... THE... er... game.
(anything with animals, Kool Aid, and a lightsaber in one movie is extra points)
What I win? A .gif of a chick bouncing up and down. Alright! Hey... this looks just like... WAIT A MINUTE!!
As the mighty words of the DToid Bot... "SW33T!"
Now... about those knives...
- Amass hoards of rotten foodstuffs!
- Collect and showcase your favorite discarded unmentionables!
- Regulate hibernation!
- "Stick it" to Animal Control officials like never before!
- Regulate infectious diseases: subdue those pesky rabies outbreaks, or let them go unchecked for hours of hotzone hilarity!
With its award-deserving combination of groundbreaking infestation AI and breakthrough fur and dirt rendering technology, RACCOON TYCOON is unquestionably the Small Mammal Strategy Simulator that you've been waiting for!
(puts on dunce cap... er... thinking cap...)
Exterminator Tycoon:
You are sitting at your desk when the phone rings. When you answer, a woman frantically screams for your help. You throw on your suit, gather your equipment, and head over to her place. You see the guilty party in her back yard in the dark... the black mask... the tiny beedy eyes. You aim... and FIRE!
You are the head pest exterminator and the town you work in has been infested with Raccoons. It's your job to hire others to join your team to kill all the raccoons involved in the groundbreaking infestation. Take them out with flame throwers, gernades, and the famous "Year Old Cow Milk Launcher"! Don't let their "fur and dirt" rendering technology beat you... protect the town... and their trash!
(Drink the milk at your own risk... and by that, I mean drink it if you want to die faster than a person drinking a bleech and rusty nail cocktail... whatever that is)
Oh, I mean his avatar's bosoms. Credit where credit's due.
BA BOOM
BA BOOM
BA BOOM
I pray my mild witticisms will one day be freed from their voluptuous prison!
Bosom Tycoon - Find the girl in Altair's avatar, and ravish her fantastic breasts.
<sees knives from past post>
Um... cook something. Yeah... that's the ticket. Cook something with the large, sharp... knives... yeah....
I'll be going now...
Plan the carry out the murder of your very own parents.
- Learn about proper preparation.
- Slaughter neighborhood animals for points you can use to purchase torture equipment.
- Spend points to alter the crime scene after the deed to throw off police.
- Get caught? No problem! Play the prison mini-games to earn points to win the insanity defense.
- Now with more "OH MY GOD JOHNNY DON'T DO IT I LOVE YOARRRHHHGGGG BLLSJSHAARR NOOOOOO WHYYYYYYYYYYY!?!?!"
Dammit
- Make up your idea of a tycoon game, and win the undying admiration of Leigh Alexander!
- Fight against mesmerizing distractions like Altair's boobies! er.. I mean Altair's avatar's boobies
- New multiplayer support! Bash each other's ideas!
- Crap all over anamalous' idea and suggest suicide!
- Rape the editor!
- Post Porn!
I'm large and sharp ;) ...and property of Leigh? Wtf, when did that happen? 0_o
Keeper of The Gates Tycoon - You have the sole responsibility of keeping the gates, this are some of the features:
-Design the perfect gate- People won't want to come in through an unattractive gate. Make and attractive and intimidating gate, but be careful, make it too attractive and you will be overwhelmed, make it too intimidating and there would be no need for your services.
-Gate Maintenance.- From cleaning the gates to oiling them so they don't squeak.
-Gate Defense- Hire security, set up defense equipment, impress people and you will get a better job.
-Multiple Scenarios- Defend gates from different eras, from the XVI century castles to futuristic stargates, from the gates of heaven to the gates of hell.
-EXCLUSIVE GOTY CONTENT- Over 20 brand new never before seen gate designs and 10 new scenarios!!