What is this I don't even ... ?

As I struggle to find the right words, look upon this horrific blend of yellow cuteness and grotesque perversion, an inflatable rubber fetish suit known as The Pikachoo, altered just enough to avoid a lawsuit from Nintendo. With this article, I believe the last lingering thread of my faith in humanity has snapped. 

According to those who have the audacity to sell it, inflation and deflation is a snap, the head is easy to breathe through, and dirty Pokémon fetishists can see out through Pikachoo's gaping mouth. 

"Pikachoo is based on a popular Japanese animee,manga character from a cartoon series in which he is simply described as an electric mouse," explains Obisidian. "Although this costume is relatively simply in looks he is perhaps one of the most recognized of my range, unmistakable in bright yellow with its thunder bolt tail."

I honestly cannot comprehend what anybody would get out of wearing this. I think I'd be able to understand pedophiles because I could wrap my head around an inflatable Pikachu rubber fetish. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go study this in the bathroom.