I just got done reading
a most hilarious report concerning an alarmist anti-DS blog post in which parents are encouraged to destroy the expensive toy they got for their children. Presidential wannabe Sen. Sam Brownback is an evangelical Christian (uh-oh) with an
unofficial blog that speaks out against the horrors of the Nintendo DS, and how it is a tool that pedophiles can use to molest kids.
It's unclear if this is an elaborate hoax or not, but the whole thing is so funny that it deserves to be posted. Check out the writer's summary of Donkey Kong, it's classic:
The B4B tipline recently received information about this gaming device and its devious and virtually unknown (by parents) backdoor giving child predators access to millions of children. Don’t let your child be a victim. Slam the backdoor shut by refusing to put this dangerous device on your Christmas list this year.
…It’s undeniable that it has been a “success” for its Japanese manufacturer, Nintendo (makers of Donkey Kong aka Monkey Donkey, a game in which a monkey kidnaps a young girl to satisfy his bestial desires). It’s also been a tremendous success for pedophiles everywhere… it can easily be used by child predators and molesters to get access to your children…
But if you already have a Japanese Nintendo DS in your home, the time to act is now. Snap it in half like Jill (not her real name) did and excise it from your child’s life. She deftly ripped the offending device out of her [daughter’s] hands, sent the reply “stay away from my baby, you psycho” and triumphantly snapped the unit in half… Nintendo TP (two pieces).
I don't know much about Brownback, but his anti-videogame stance makes this post all the more believable. Its applause of Jack Thompson as a videogames 'expert' is brilliant, no matter the sincerity. What do you think though? Well researched hoax or unresearched sensationalism? Let us know.
Jim Sterling serves as reviews editor for Destructoid.com, head of the Podtoid podcast, and produces a number of news stories, original features, one-of-a-kind videos. With his passionate argumentative style, controversial opinions, harsh delivery, and dedication to brutal honesty Sterling is a name that you can't help but recognize.
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You know what else is great for pedophiles?
Online Chatrooms.
Get on that one parents.
Oh, and parents are pedophiles also.
I watch a lot of Dateline NBC
There is no way this can be serious.
Millions? To use pictochat you need to be within about sixty feet of someone's DS. That being the case it should be pretty easy to identify who it is sending any unwanted messages.
http://blogs4brownback.wordpress.com/2007/10/13/kids-korner-goody-guns/
So gold, I really can't stop laughing at it
Methinks someone is doing their best Colbert impression.
Hey, it's either teach your kid not to be a dumb little shit and trust them to do somethings on their own, or lock their asses up in their room and turn them into nut job shut ins with no lives. Over protecting your child can be almost as damaging to them as not being protective enough.
...I feel dirty now...lol
Are you kidding me? The pedo has to be in the same room as the kid because the wifi connectivity is so short
To chat with someone in Pictochat you have to actually enter a chat room. People can't just send you explicit messages without your knowledge. And, yes, Fox News is trash, but the other organizations tend to dabble in this kind of extremism every chance they get. Don't leave them off the hook either!
???
Hold on a sec....
This guy's not taking the piss, is he? I mean, he think's he's not taking the piss. What an amusing asshole!
[img]http//www.example.com/image.gif[/img]
Instead of saying that Senator Brownback is a person "with an unofficial blog" which implies that he wrote the blog (and judging by the comments many have bought into this) you could instead describe it honestly ..
"A blog satirizing Senator Brownback's views speaks out against the horrors of the Nintendo DS ..."
Uh... huh? I don't think I've ever heard of a pedophile using a DS in this manner, so unless tremendous picked up a new definition in recent years...
For gamepolitics.com to even entertain that this is real shows that their own perspective is getting a bit skewed.
It has lots of graphics.
Besides WTF??