Reader Kariomart emailed me with the above video, explaining that he was unsure if the entire concept was a joke or if this was a serious, sincere venture. The game in question is called
The Zoo Race, and is a Christian game somehow based on Noah's Ark, except people in a library turn into animals and then race while what I can only presume is the voice of God oversees the whole sordid, twisted, horrifying affair. Yeah, Christian games are always works of insane genius.
As far as I can tell, the developer is just a very nice man(iac) who really wanted to share his vision of racing animals with the world. As you can tell from the video however, the results make it look more like someone handed him a bag of cocaine and a Quake mod and said "Go crazy."
THE ZOO RACE game is basically a foot race from start to finish. The players must start at the starting line and then be the first to finish at the finish line. The goal is to win the race. There are many obstacles and strategies of each racetrack, however, to avoid or take advantage of depending on your player type.
... If playing on the “Hannah’s Heights” or when running on the “Moon” itself though, then be careful of the crows there and them dropping their crow poop on the ground towards you. Do not mistake the food for the crow poop, because eating crow poop results in a speed penalty, which will slow you down.
Sadly, I couldn't get the demo from the official site to load for me, but if you want to try your hand at this interactive anthropomorphic horror show, then by all means share your experiences. As for me, I'm going to keep laughing at the line, "I'm a horse now," while wondering what exactly Reuben was doing behind that desk.
Why do they send all the LSD-inspired stuff to me?
Contest:
10:46 PM on 01.16.2008
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NO WAI!!!!
Seriously, this is really creepy.
http://www.myspace.com/cougarinteractive
The song playing at the end of the video.
"The Ark did rest and it came to a stop
The door opened with a great big hop
On a hill top"
This is EPIC! EPIC I tell you!
A: It's not people, it's God. He can do anything... just not well. Jack of all trades, master of none.
I'm truly afraid to try the demo.
Fucking cunt.
1. Learn basic (very basic) 3d modeling and programming skills.
2. Find a group of idiotic religious zealots to pitch a halfassed game idea too. (convince them that they're target audience is deaf 3 year olds.)
3. ???
4. PROFIT!
1. Learn basic (very basic) 3d modeling and programming skills.
2. Find a group of idiotic religious zealots to pitch a halfassed game idea too. (convince them that they're target audience is deaf 3 year olds.)
3. ???
4. PROFIT!
Ye gads, what the hell were these people thinking? Why are "mainstream" Christians so dense? And why is "God" apparently on drugs?
God the sounded like a duller version of Ben Stein and I didn't even know that was possible. Also, Ms. Condescending Atheist Librarian ended up winning the race, that batch!
Why did I watch most of that video?
Because they love you?
"Surprise your friends with some new music songs that they have not heard before. Play it in your car! Each Audio CD contains both vocal and also musical versions of each song. So sing along and let's celebrate and have a party!"
"Music songs"?!?!
Really worth downloading. I think I'll ask for the full version for my birthday.
I'm praying ;p that this is a multi-platform release!
Sounds like anti-woman bible stuff to me...
Jesus should make more shovelware. It's been a while.
what hath god wrought?