If you’re a criminal, what’s the first rule of any job? Do your homework, right? Well, 16-year-old Iowan Jake Merfeld definitely knew that, but it seems that he didn’t follow through completely. The kid tried to steal a PS3, PSP, and numerous games from a house in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, so he obviously had scoped out the place well enough to know what was inside. Unfortunately for him, he ran into a heap of trouble during the actual burglary — in the form of Derdre Rodriguez.
Rodriguez is a former professional female boxer, but she’s been retired for a decade. However, she’s stayed in shape over the years, and all her training came in handy during the attempted robbery. Upon coming home for lunch, she caught Merfeld sneaking out her son’s bedroom window. Furious, she gave chase, picking up an ice chipper and calling the police along the way. The story was picked up by CNN, and there’s a video available on their Web site. Here’s my favorite line:
“Yeah, I was saying a lot to him, especially when he was running out of gas. I was telling him what I was gonna do to him once he—once I caught him.”
After whacking the kid in the noggin with the ice chipper (see header image), she dragged him back to her house while making him pick up the stuff he’d dropped along the way: a PS3, a PSP, some cell phones, and some games. Police quickly arrived, and they took Merfeld to the hospital to be treated for his head injury. Now, he’s in the Linn County Detention Center, and he’s facing a second-degree burglary charge.
Rodriguez says she now has an alarm system for her home, but it doesn’t appear that she really needs one, now does it? Former pro boxer + ice chipper = all the security you need.
[via KCRG-TV9, Cedar Rapids, Iowa by way of CNN — thanks, Jonathan!]
poop
lol @ that moron.
are you joining us for WNW, Samit?
I’ll definitely stop by, EDS.
Love the smile on her face as she tells the story :)
As an english nerd, I just jizzed all over your alliteration. As a gamer, I loled at this story.
That alliteration is hilarious as is the story, I'm in stiches. I'd come back with a witty comment but brain broken barring beer or bargain bin barbituates. oh wait wut?
Oh snap!
"Former pro boxer + ice chipper = all the security you need."
-FTW!
Alliteration, awesome always!
I hope the systems that were dropped are ok. It would suck if the family had to pay to replace that PS3.
Preposterous!
Nice title V.
Bang up job you beautiful brown bastard you. Alliteration is love.
haha awesome
I wish I knew what she really said to the guy as she was chasing him. Anyway good for her and awesome use of alliteration.
over here the mom would have gotten her ass kicked by the legal system and the kid would have gotten away with it for the most part.. its illegal to hurt people, even if they robbed you. weird world, eh.
Derdre Rodriguez assist trophy confirmed for Brawl!
Ahhh, is there anything more satisfying than hearing about vigilante justice??
@ BlackSun
No, there isn't.
I c wut u did thar in the title.
Now that is hot. She can beat me with an ice chipper any day.
@ Angelsdontburn:
"Derdre Rodriguez assist trophy confirmed for Brawl!" FTW!!
lol, try saying the article title three times fast
Beatdown!
Too good
Good stuff, I'm really surprised she didn't get hit with an assault charge knowing the legal system, but its GREAT she didn't.
For some reason, that description made me imagine a River City Ransom-style encounter.
And no, I will not fight alliteration with alliteration. Stopping this silly, ceaseless cycle certainly supports a sound sense of civic-mindedness, Samit. Seriously.
inscribe every insidious incident's title in intelligent idiosyncrasy and I will be inclined to interpret every inkling written by you.
haha! that's awesome! i never thought i'd find myself saying that about somebody getting smashed in the face...
Alliteration FTW!!
BEST MOM EVVARR!!!!!
Damnnit MaxVest. using both c and s for the ssssss sound was clever. :3
protip to fight off burglars: Leave your bathroom light on at night. It's the one place where someone could plausibly be in the middle of the night.
Burglar sees the light, runs away, and it costs you only a few extra bucks a month on yer energy bill.
pwnt.
@MaxVest, pizzaface: I bow to your alliteration skills.
hey come on stop hittin me OUch HEY COMEON HEY OUI!
I hope she doesn't get charged with assault or anything.
You go, Ma'am.
Also, That article title is full of win.
Haha, thats awesome on so many levels. I would have loved to see that punk get dragged back block by block over the sidewalk while getting the occasional smack on the head with the ice pick. God I want to do that! Someone, quick! Try and rob my shit.
My God! A crazy woman, an ice chipper, and alliteration! This was the best post I've ever read on Dtoid.
Simply amazing.
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