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Pathetic punk prevented from pilfering PlayStations by prior pugilist photo

If you’re a criminal, what’s the first rule of any job? Do your homework, right? Well, 16-year-old Iowan Jake Merfeld definitely knew that, but it seems that he didn’t follow through completely. The kid tried to steal a PS3, PSP, and numerous games from a house in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, so he obviously had scoped out the place well enough to know what was inside. Unfortunately for him, he ran into a heap of trouble during the actual burglary — in the form of Derdre Rodriguez.

Rodriguez is a former professional female boxer, but she’s been retired for a decade. However, she’s stayed in shape over the years, and all her training came in handy during the attempted robbery. Upon coming home for lunch, she caught Merfeld sneaking out her son’s bedroom window. Furious, she gave chase, picking up an ice chipper and calling the police along the way. The story was picked up by CNN, and there’s a video available on their Web site. Here’s my favorite line:

“Yeah, I was saying a lot to him, especially when he was running out of gas. I was telling him what I was gonna do to him once he—once I caught him.”

After whacking the kid in the noggin with the ice chipper (see header image), she dragged him back to her house while making him pick up the stuff he’d dropped along the way: a PS3, a PSP, some cell phones, and some games. Police quickly arrived, and they took Merfeld to the hospital to be treated for his head injury. Now, he’s in the Linn County Detention Center, and he’s facing a second-degree burglary charge.

Rodriguez says she now has an alarm system for her home, but it doesn’t appear that she really needs one, now does it? Former pro boxer + ice chipper = all the security you need.

[via KCRG-TV9, Cedar Rapids, Iowa by way of CNN — thanks, Jonathan!]








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Samit Sarkar is a founding Destructoid editor and go-to Sports guy. Samit was the son of the Duke of Knees, rescued from a burning village in the afghan desert by a golden condor. He is an ace Backgammon player and lost both legs in a whaling tour. He lives for free in a nursery in Scotland where he teaches monks how to capture butterflies without hurting them. Likes Confuse Ray, Feel My Blade A Mabari War Hound, Snot, Spiral Arrow, Argo, Dan Smith's critical hit bark, Rolling things up into my life Meet the rest of the team



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39 comments | showing # 1 to 39
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EternalDeathSlayer's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 17:42
EternalDeathSlayer
lol @ that moron.

are you joining us for WNW, Samit?
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 17:42
Samit Sarkar
I’ll definitely stop by, EDS.
Metamorphic's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 17:45
Metamorphic
Love the smile on her face as she tells the story :)
DrNutt's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 17:46
DrNutt
As an english nerd, I just jizzed all over your alliteration. As a gamer, I loled at this story.
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 17:49
AgentMOO
That alliteration is hilarious as is the story, I'm in stiches. I'd come back with a witty comment but brain broken barring beer or bargain bin barbituates. oh wait wut?
RoMeRtHeGaMe's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 17:51
RoMeRtHeGaMe
Oh snap!
"Former pro boxer + ice chipper = all the security you need."

-FTW!
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 17:58
Justice
Alliteration, awesome always!
DaedHead8's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 18:02
DaedHead8
I hope the systems that were dropped are ok. It would suck if the family had to pay to replace that PS3.
MechaMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 18:06
MechaMonkey
Preposterous!
Drksan's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 18:09
Drksan
Nice title V.
Qais Fulton's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 18:11
Qais Fulton
Bang up job you beautiful brown bastard you. Alliteration is love.
kaciesaurus's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 18:14
kaciesaurus
haha awesome
Silverback 55's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 18:16
Silverback 55
I wish I knew what she really said to the guy as she was chasing him. Anyway good for her and awesome use of alliteration.
capz's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 18:19
capz
over here the mom would have gotten her ass kicked by the legal system and the kid would have gotten away with it for the most part.. its illegal to hurt people, even if they robbed you. weird world, eh.
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 18:25
AngelsDontBurn
Derdre Rodriguez assist trophy confirmed for Brawl!
BlackSunEmpire's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 18:25
BlackSunEmpire
Ahhh, is there anything more satisfying than hearing about vigilante justice??
Vlambo's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 18:26
Vlambo
@ BlackSun

No, there isn't.
Cheeburga's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 18:32
Cheeburga
I c wut u did thar in the title.
MajinFro's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 18:32
MajinFro
Now that is hot. She can beat me with an ice chipper any day.
RoMeRtHeGaMe's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 18:33
RoMeRtHeGaMe
@ Angelsdontburn:

"Derdre Rodriguez assist trophy confirmed for Brawl!" FTW!!
Wiid Whacker's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 18:41
Wiid Whacker
lol, try saying the article title three times fast
Clockwork's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 18:42
Clockwork
Beatdown!
DemonEyes23's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 18:42
DemonEyes23
Too good
Corak's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 18:58
Corak
Good stuff, I'm really surprised she didn't get hit with an assault charge knowing the legal system, but its GREAT she didn't.
MaxVest's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 19:08
MaxVest
For some reason, that description made me imagine a River City Ransom-style encounter.

And no, I will not fight alliteration with alliteration. Stopping this silly, ceaseless cycle certainly supports a sound sense of civic-mindedness, Samit. Seriously.
pizzaface's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 19:11
pizzaface
inscribe every insidious incident's title in intelligent idiosyncrasy and I will be inclined to interpret every inkling written by you.
thisissami's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 19:12
thisissami
haha! that's awesome! i never thought i'd find myself saying that about somebody getting smashed in the face...
F Whipple's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 19:14
F Whipple
Alliteration FTW!!
Amaru's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 19:15
Amaru
BEST MOM EVVARR!!!!!
pizzaface's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 19:17
pizzaface
Damnnit MaxVest. using both c and s for the ssssss sound was clever. :3

protip to fight off burglars: Leave your bathroom light on at night. It's the one place where someone could plausibly be in the middle of the night.

Burglar sees the light, runs away, and it costs you only a few extra bucks a month on yer energy bill.
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 19:44
Samit Sarkar
@MaxVest, pizzaface: I bow to your alliteration skills.
bleep's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 20:16
bleep
hey come on stop hittin me OUch HEY COMEON HEY OUI!
Wookiee's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 22:27
Wookiee
I hope she doesn't get charged with assault or anything.
You go, Ma'am.
Wookiee's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/09/2008 22:28
Wookiee
Also, That article title is full of win.
Demtor's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/10/2008 07:39
Demtor
Haha, thats awesome on so many levels. I would have loved to see that punk get dragged back block by block over the sidewalk while getting the occasional smack on the head with the ice pick. God I want to do that! Someone, quick! Try and rob my shit.
HarassmentPanda's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/10/2008 16:03
HarassmentPanda
My God! A crazy woman, an ice chipper, and alliteration! This was the best post I've ever read on Dtoid.
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/11/2008 01:56
Bob Muir
Simply amazing.
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