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The epic Full Life Consequences saga continues. This time, John Freeman gets revenge for the death of his brother by giant GMan. But before he can get revenge, he has to go get a new motorcycle and new weapons. Along the way, he fights more zombie goasts, saved some bird eggs, and shot a tree with a laser beam. Then he went to work and got an e-mail from his mom. After all that, he went and killed giant GMan. It was all too late though as Gordon Freeman became a head crab zombie.
 
I was kind of disappointed by the sequel. I laughed a hell of a lot more at the original. Although I just about died at this line: "The next boss was laughing at John Freeman so John Freeman said "YOU WILL NOT LAUGH AT ME!" and shot a rocket at him since that was his weakness." HOLY SHIT! Rockets are MY weakness too!
 
Full transcript after the jump. For more fanfiction from the six-year-old known as squirrelking, just follow this link.
 
[Thanks again Andrex!] 
John Freeman walked like speed of light back to his motorcycl and left behind the bad place behind him. John Freeman had to ride his motorcycle really fast back to the office but John Freemans gas ran out. John Freeman jumped fast off the motorcycle and landed on dead peoples hands.

"Gordon Freeman is now these hands... i must kill the next boss and live up to full-life consequences!" John Freeman said out loud.

John Freeman picked up a laser gun and aimed it at trees to see if he could. John Freeman shot and tree fell down in front of him. John Freeman seen eggs fall out of the tree and he put them back home safe.

"These birds dont have to see Gordon Freeman yet. its not time." John Freeman said to him.

John Freeman had to walked faster and was back at his office work and on a computer. He looked on the internet and found the next boss.

"I know his weakness now" John Freeman said. And after that he got emails from someone. John Freeman opened up the emails and read them.

"Dear John Freeman, how are you? I miss you at home come home safe and soon with Gordon Freeman for thanksgiving dinner. Love mom." John Freeman looked at it and got sad and yelled "I WILL KILL THE BOSS AND GORDON FREEMAN WILL BE HAPPY SOUL!" then he turned on off the computer and wet on the platform again down to his other more faster motorcycle that had gas in it this time.

John Freeman put the laser gun on his motorcycle and his machine gun and his rocket gun that he found on the side of the motorcycle. He went through traffic and went fast like litning to back to Ravenholm and back to the bad place where Gordon Freeman was. John Freeman went off road and did backflips and landed on back wheels but kept going too.

John Freeman went really fast again like before and was soon back again at Ravenholm but saw more zombie goasts. John Freeman said to them "Zombie goasts i have killed your friends at the old house and i dont want to shoot your heads. move near the countrysides and you will be friends of John Freeman." The zombie goasts said that "no we will kill you" and walked fast to John Freemans motorcycle. John Freeman waited until they were in front of his motorcycle and backflipped off his bars and shot heads below and landed and walked fast to where the next boss was.

"you will be one of us!" yelled the dead zombie goasts. John Freeman laughed and shot a rocket at them.

John Freeman saw the next boss far down the road and walked slow this time. He walked really slow like a turtle and sat down on a rock and watched the next boss near the dead last boss and where the place that Gordon Freeman was. The next boss was laughing at John Freeman so John Freeman said "YOU WILL NOT LAUGH AT ME!" and shot a rocket at him since that was his weakness.

The next boss died and John Freeman was happy. He walked over to the dead bosses and put them under the ground and planted pants on them so instead of messy dirt and dark there was pretty things there now to be happy.

John Freeman walked to where Gordon Freeman was lying dead and crushed from the next bosss feet and looked down. A tear droped out of John Freemans eye and landed on Gordon Freeman.

"You are dead bro and i killed the evil boss." John Freeman told Gordon Freeman

Then John Freeman saw something bad. A headcrab was on Gordon Freeman! Gordon Freeman standed up and said "John Freeman... you got here slow and now i am zombie goast. you will pay..."







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Hamza Aziz, Destructoid's Community Director, has been here since day one. He was born when a tiger coughed up a hairball into a pool of ooze. He was one of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles before budget cuts. Hamza works as a previews editor and manages a team in San Francisco. To date he has given away tens of thousands of dollars in prizes to readers. What a dick. Actually, Hamza is as kind as he is hairy. Likes Super Mario RPG, Halo, iPhone, Videogame cover bands, Super Nintendo Meet the rest of the team



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31 comments | showing # 1 to 31
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tazarthayoot's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/27/2008 23:32
tazarthayoot
It's better writing than Turok's got.
Neonie's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/27/2008 23:39
Neonie
Wow... I have no idea how to feel about it. Reading it actually makes me kind of depressed :C
Kyuzo's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 00:12
Kyuzo
Yeah, the first one was much better. His voice wasn't quite the same in this one.
Hamza CTZ Aziz's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 00:27
Hamza CTZ Aziz
Kyuzo: I totally forgot to bring that up. It sounds like he was recorded over a phone for this one.
Dr Milkdad's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 00:30
Dr Milkdad
I almost died laughing, I love this saga.

Big Money, Big Prizes: I LOVE IT!!!
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 00:32
Bob Muir
I still thought it was kinda funny.
Boolean's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 00:45
Boolean
HAHA, still pretty good. The audio quality was shit though.
ArrestedDeveloper's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 00:48
ArrestedDeveloper
You got to give it to the kid, he's got a story arc.
MasterSauce's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 00:54
MasterSauce
You're joking Boolean no? You'd better be...

I dig it. This one was a cliff hanger.
Boolean's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 01:23
Boolean
^^

Eh? I meant it sounds like he is speaking over a phone and not quite as into it as the last one. Hey everyone else said it too!
angusm's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 01:50
angusm
Psh, and people thought BioShock had epic storytelling?
PUH-LEEZE
Full Life Consequences for the win.
Aurain's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 02:12
Aurain
This one isn't half as good as the original. But this is still awesome. The Pants are still dead. ='(
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 02:17
AgentMOO
Damn you cliffhanger! I want to know what happens with the zombie goast!
Baron Calico's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 02:49
Baron Calico
Don't get me wrong, this one was great stuff too... but the first was much better. The quality of the recording was better, and the narrator hammed it up better too.

Still funny, though.
wardrox's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 03:09
wardrox
You can't leave it like that! I need to know what happens! :o
atheistium's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 04:28
atheistium
TOO AWESOME
vexed alex's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 04:44
vexed alex
I seriously want to know what happens next.
Nordstorm's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 04:44
Nordstorm
Dead pants are beautiful things?
Eschatos's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 05:31
Eschatos
The voice was a lot better the first time.
Hank Peters's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 06:45
Hank Peters
This should be the next dl content that Valve works on. I really don't care about episodic Half-Life 2 after reading this.
Pixel Blue's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 07:05
Pixel Blue
"These birds dont have to see Gordon Freeman yet. its not time." John Freeman said to him.

That's where I lost it. XD
Aertyr's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 07:35
Aertyr
And to think I questioned if it would maintain the same quality as the first. This kid should write a book, I'd buy it.
CaffeinePowered's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 08:30
CaffeinePowered
Best fanfiction ever made
nademagnet's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 08:30
nademagnet
Oh my god... I think my brain just pack up and left. I'm just going to sit at my desk and drool for the rest of my time at work.
Holyetheline's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 08:49
Holyetheline
I think that was pretty funny. I liked the humor style a lot.
snotrocket's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 08:50
snotrocket
The first was much better I agree, but still worth checking this out.
tehdopefish's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 11:50
tehdopefish
Considering that the source material is from a child who is only six years old, I think that was pretty damn good, I doubt I could write that well when I was that age.
Steel Frog's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 11:51
Steel Frog
Heh, you guys should read his Final Fantasy VII fan script. It's full of awesome.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3153831/1/FFVII_Story_of_Rain_Strife
Stonedfox's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 18:13
Stonedfox
"I have only been speaking english for not that long and fanfics help me do it. i just started to write these only before last week maybe so right now i dont have alot but i will."

-From his profile. Are we sure this kid is six and not just some thiry year old speaking Engrish?
Kaos Angel's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 20:30
Kaos Angel
I love this saga! I love this kid! We should give him support lol
zavage's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2008 19:32
zavage
and gordon freeman will be happy soul! lmao awesome job
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