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Home Utterly pathetic updates

Parents more worried about GTA than alcohol or pornography: Priorities!

1:59 PM on 08.11.2008, Jim Sterling 44 comments

Parents more worried about GTA than alcohol or pornography: Priorities! photo
     Utterly pathetic

Proving that parents truly do have their priorities sorted out, a recent survey has shown that child spawners are more concerned about Grand Theft Auto than alcohol or pornography. It seems that, when given a single choice of what they'd least like their children to experience at a sleepover, GTA took precedence over porn and booze.

Marijuana topped the poll, conducted by What They Play, with 49% of parents choosing it as their object of fear. 19% picked videogames, while 16% answered with pornography, and a mere 14% went with one that can cause family-destroying chemical dependency, liver damage and arguably more deaths than pot, porn and videogames combined.

I am convinced that a vast majority of human beings have not been able to evolve in step with our development as an overall species. While technology has advanced in leaps and bounds, most of us seem still to be mentally identical to medieval peasants. As sad as it is to say, many of us are frightened and confused individuals, clearly unequipped to handle the rate of evolution that we've set for ourselves. 

It may sound overly pessimistic, but this is a story where parents have admitted to being more frightened of a game than a mentally uninhibiting toxin. I don't think things could get more depressing than that.


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Scary Womanizing Pig Mask's Avatar
Scary Womanizing Pig Mask at 08/11/2008 14:03
This just another extension of the standard human fear of the unknown. Modern parents grew up with alcohol and porn, and so while they don''t want there children exposed to it, but they can fully understand what it is, so it doesn't worry them as much as video games, which to them are these shady unknown threats that do god knows what to there kids. It's misguided fear, but you can't really blame them, what with all the misinformation spread by the media.
Projectexodus's Avatar
Projectexodus at 08/11/2008 14:11
Its stuff like this that makes me want to build a secret utopia on the bottom of the ocean.
Scrixx's Avatar
Scrixx at 08/11/2008 14:12
@ Inexpressticality

A complete genius
covah's Avatar
covah at 08/11/2008 14:15
parents are fucking stupid apparently. I'm sure my parents would rather have me playing GTA than being publicly drunk every weekend at school.
Shaneq's Avatar
Shaneq at 08/11/2008 14:17
Marijuana and video games should be at the bottom of the list. Alcohol has destroyed so many lives and killed so many. No one has ever died from marijuana. People just fear marijuana `because it's illegal, not harmful. As for everything else, it's all about moderation.
randombullseye's Avatar
randombullseye at 08/11/2008 14:17
There has certainly never been a film or novel about criminals doing criminal activities ever before in the history of fiction. Let alone a series of them.
brainderailment's Avatar
brainderailment at 08/11/2008 14:17
BUT JIM! Alcohol doesn't make you violent, and pornography doesn't drive some people to get prostitutes! GTAIV is proven to do both those things for the low low price of $59.99!
B-Radicate's Avatar
B-Radicate at 08/11/2008 14:18
What morons.
vitus's Avatar
vitus at 08/11/2008 14:18
"While technology has advanced in leaps and bounds, most of us seem still to be mentally identical to medieval peasants."

jim sterling if i didnt have respect for you before this article i would sex your face after that comment.
Daxelman's Avatar
Daxelman at 08/11/2008 14:19
Im going to Canada.

Im going to get blown so hard, I'll start fucking killing people, building nukes, and nuking the shit out of Washington D.C.

And America will be more afraid of Little Timmy playing GTA.

Perfect Fucking Crime, here I come.
blehman's Avatar
blehman at 08/11/2008 14:23
And Daxelman is now on Homeland Security watch lists.

Seriously though, after violent crimes and such, what does FauxNews go to? What would you be scared of if all that told you what to be scared of was what a little talking head?
TheDreadHawk's Avatar
TheDreadHawk at 08/11/2008 14:25
That is extremely sad. >_<
zombiekiller13's Avatar
zombiekiller13 at 08/11/2008 14:29
I am convinced that a vast majority of human beings have not been able to evolve in step with our development as an overall species.

This is why we need to make the cloning of velociraptors a top priority. We need something higher on the food chain than us, something that will weed out the stupid ones.

On a more serious note, I'm a parent. I also happen to be a gamer. I'm smart enough to know that, when my children are older, there will be games out there that they shouldn't play, unless I feel they are mature enough to handle them.

That said, my 4-year old son snuck in on me playing Dead Rising. While he knows about zombies (hell, he knows what'll kill a werewolf or the weaknesses of vampires), it was still a little too much for him, and he ended up having nightmares that night. I just have to make sure the little ninja is sleeping before I pop in a game he shouldn't see. The only way to calm him down when he woke up was to explain to him that what he saw wasn't real, that it was a game, and that zombies aren't real (until the Zombie Apocalypse, that is).

It was no different from when I was his age and snuck in on my parents watching Halloween II. For weeks, I thought Michael Myers was hiding in our bathroom. They had a much more difficult time explaining to me that Michael Myers wasn't real, as I saw this actual guy on TV slice and dice people, not a video game character made of pixels and polygons. And yet, even after that, I grew up loving horror movies.

Okay, sorry...tangent...

I'm willing to bet that most of the parents polled blindly let lil' Jimmy have their permission to buy GTA IV, and then were shocked to see what the game entailed. It doesn't say "M for Mature" on the box for nothing, mom and dad. Learn to check the ratings and do a little research instead of buying a game for your kid so they stay out of your hair and let you drink your problems away.
donkeykong's Avatar
donkeykong at 08/11/2008 14:29
Not that I ever plan on having kids (way to lazy to raise things), I think my order would be fear of:
1. porn
2. alcohol
3. marijuana
4. video games

But really I'd only be worried about the porn. Watching porn at sleepovers? Isn't that kind of weird? Are they all going to masturbate together too? GROSS!

Maybe alcohol would be a problem too, depending on the kind of drunk my kid is.
zombiekiller13's Avatar
zombiekiller13 at 08/11/2008 14:33
@covah
I'm sure my parents would rather have me playing GTA than being publicly drunk every weekend at school.

This was kinda-sorta my mom's reasoning behind letting me play video games. She told me a year or so ago, when I made a joke about how I played video games all the time and look at where it got me (married, 2 kids, good-paying full-time job), that "when you were playing games, I knew you weren't out having sex or getting drunk". Nope, I was at home, skin turning pale and thumbs a' twitchin'.
TurboSpaz's Avatar
TurboSpaz at 08/11/2008 14:34
WAIT, so people are more worried about a game that has porno and drugs that kids going out and using ACTUAL PORNO AND DRUGS?! THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS GODDAM PLANET!?
TurboSpaz's Avatar
TurboSpaz at 08/11/2008 14:34
than*
ace of knaves's Avatar
ace of knaves at 08/11/2008 14:38
Yeah, the list pretty much goes in order of what's most familiar to people. Ugh, idiots.
Syn's Avatar
Syn at 08/11/2008 14:41
I think I would definitely be more concerned about violence than porn, but I don't think GTA is all that bad really. As graphically advanced as games have become it's still a far cry from realistic.

But you have to consider: most parents these days are still stupid children that didn't exactly become parents intentionally (or if they did they just suck).
Irvine_frost's Avatar
Irvine_frost at 08/11/2008 14:42
well, it seems that most of the parents only achievement in life is not pulling out over sexual intercourse. so, it's nothing new.
aaronf's Avatar
aaronf at 08/11/2008 14:46
I can't wait for GTA4 PC to come out. I can play GTA 4 with some porn going on in my browser in the background, along with a bottle of Patron!
eternalplayer2345's Avatar
eternalplayer2345 at 08/11/2008 14:46
Ok so digital representation of drugs,sex and alcohol is worse than actual participation in drugs,sex or alcohol? Umm.......WHAT. THE. HELL.
dodo's Avatar
dodo at 08/11/2008 14:52
yea i have a great job
and i smoke tons of bud
and game when ever im not working

parents need a ball check
Daxelman's Avatar
Daxelman at 08/11/2008 14:59
I was gunna go to work, before I got high....
Syn's Avatar
Syn at 08/11/2008 15:02
Dammit, PASS THE BONG!
Daxelman's Avatar
Daxelman at 08/11/2008 15:15
OH MAN, this is some good shit.

High Quality Colombian shit, don't get any better than this smack right here.


Damn, even Samuel L Jackson would be jealous of this shit...


Did I tell you this is some good shit? Imma sell this shit to the kids.

This is some good shit.
Edge of Blade's Avatar
Edge of Blade at 08/11/2008 15:18
Here is a little perspecitve on continuing mental evolution. I think people are the main reason OTHER people don't mentally improve. You are a product of your environment and the people in that environment. People can't think for themselves and must think in terms of their upbringing or the circumstances that have happened to them. I am a prime example.

Consider the following oxymoron: "My mother taught me to think for myself."

Oh, did she now...
Velt's Avatar
Velt at 08/11/2008 15:24
porn and videogames would be at the bottom of my list. I mean, i prefer that the guy watches porn than to go out there, too young having sex.
Alexradl's Avatar
Alexradl at 08/11/2008 15:24
This is embarrassing. People are stupid.
parrothead's Avatar
parrothead at 08/11/2008 15:30
Well GTA does combine all of those things...
mikeohara's Avatar
mikeohara at 08/11/2008 15:31
people are more concerned about a video game than real-life things?? Well, second to some of that good marijuana at least ... people need to get their priorties straight.
Lightthrower's Avatar
Lightthrower at 08/11/2008 15:56
Hey Jim want to know why? They've been using Fluoride in water since 1940, every American is now dumber because of that. Don't trust me? See for yourself what fluoride does... oh and i blame O'Reilly too.
Space Monkeez's Avatar
Space Monkeez at 08/11/2008 15:57
Well I've made one of those so-called childs (stupid condom) and alcohol will always be higher in my book because there is no kid friendly booze (unfortunately, but someone really needs to get working on that one!). As for porn... lol, well what good dad doesn't sit there, I dont know, 3 year old down and show him the joys of porn? amiright?
kawitchate's Avatar
kawitchate at 08/11/2008 18:55
i feel sorry for those parents that have kids that smoke pot and THEN play video games! heaven forbid!
TrailerParkJesus's Avatar
TrailerParkJesus at 08/11/2008 19:20
Poor kids don't know they're being raised by complete morons.
mix's Avatar
mix at 08/11/2008 19:39
Well I drink and watch porn...but I will NOT touch GTA4 with a ten foot pole!

Reason being?

I can't play it with a ten foot pole.....HA
Dexter345's Avatar
Dexter345 at 08/11/2008 19:55
I think this might be another case of misinterpreting the data, Jim. Why would parents be more concerned about video games than alcohol? It could be because they've already had a talk with their children about the dangers of alcohol, and they trust their children to make the right decision about it. Video games, however, are an entirely different beast, and we've all seen that rather than talking to their kids about the issues surrounding M rated games, people would rather just ban them altogether. But since they can't, they sit there and worry about what their children are playing at their friends' houses.

This is, of course, just another way of interpreting the data. I can't say for sure that this is correct either, but it seems more plausible to me.
Gamechamp's Avatar
Gamechamp at 08/11/2008 20:06
One thing polls don't have is second-choices. How do you know all the people who answered marijuana didn't also have a second choice of alcohol and such? I'm betting those people aren't as stupid.
BloodGoreandCorpses's Avatar
BloodGoreandCorpses at 08/11/2008 23:30
Wow,this is admittedly astonishing.Despite the fact grog and drugs possess a permanent effect,on even the mind of an adult,all this worry over a videogame that parents could easily hamper children from playing....well just proves that certain humans haven't evolved mentally.
GeneralWong's Avatar
GeneralWong at 09/03/2008 11:27
GTA KILLED MY SON!!!!


..but he respawned 5 seconds late.
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