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Panzer Dragoon, PD Zwei coming to GameTap; also, Jesus bought you a puppy

5:22 AM on 04.14.2007 // Earnest Cavalli

Ted Turner is totally awesome.

Not only does he command one of the most powerful moustaches this side of Tom "Moustache P.I." Selleck, he was the creator of one of the most influential, and endearing television shows of the last millenia: Captain Planet. Now, he seeks to cement the affection we all feel for him with the impending release of both Panzer Dragoon, and its sequel Panzer Dragoon Zwei (es bedeutet "two") via his GameTap service. If Jane Fonda wasn't already using him as an integral part of her plan to overthrow the world's governments, the above would be enough to moisten the panties of every female (and most male) gamer on the planet.

You may recall a piece Colette wrote recently about the release of Bug! on the Internet subscription service that heralded the coming of the Sega Saturn to GameTap. After reading her article, my first thoughts were; "Why did Keri Russell ever cut her hair?" Of course, that was only moments after finishing a Felicity marathon on Lifetime, so such a reaction is understandable.

Once I'd gotten over the initial shock of this, I thought; "So, when do we get some hot dragon-riding action?" Jaded after the prostatic-congestion-inducing release schedule of the XBLA, VC and whatever it is that Sony's doing over there in the corner, I assumed we'd see the two titles only after pigs learned how to fly (and thus, were able to deliver the titles to our homes), but Mr. Turner has proven, once again, that he's the greatest thing to come out of the American South since the cotton gin. 

Earnest Cavalli, Contributor
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I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have ... more   |   staff directory

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