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Horrible words we should ban from videogame titles

Lords of the Fallen and Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare just came out and they should be laughed out the damn building for their horrible, generic videogames names. I originally typed "Armored Warfare" and ...   more

Horrible words we should ban from videogame titles  photo

Max outs Kevin Spacey as sassy and mean while we play Advanced Warfare

Max and I were trudging along in Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare, when I shared a gut feeling that Kevin Spacey is not a very nice person. Max proceeded to share a story related by an ex-girlfriend, who had her adoration of Spacey crushed by that rude, kissy man.   more

Max outs Kevin Spacey as sassy and mean while we play Advanced Warfare photo

Hey, it's the first hour of Far Cry 4!

Far Cry 4 is a game I've been looking forward to since ages ago -- and now, it's finally something I can play. Poorly. Here you go, watch us flounder. Go on, we're a mess.   more

Hey, it's the first hour of Far Cry 4! photo

We played Assassin's Creed Unity, and it was doomed from the start

Oh boy... Max and I jumped into Assassin's Creed Unity. Max started out cautiously excited at what this new iteration might bring, while I have never been at all interested in the series. It's not long before both of our sentiments landed at the same astonished disappointment. Trust me, it only gets uglier from here.   more

We played Assassin's Creed Unity, and it was doomed from the start photo

Hardline 36: The land of broken games

This week on Hardline, Steven, Brett, and I spoke about Avalanche finally confirming Just Cause 3 after all those leaks, Brett's review of Assassin's Creed Rogue, and funny faceless and infinite-jump glitches in Assassin's C...   more

Hardline 36: The land of broken games photo

While playing CoD: Advanced Warfare, we posit that Nintendo hates condoms

We're now reaching the point in our Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare play session where Max thinks critically about the game's narrative mechanics and then we talk about condoms for like five minutes.   more

While playing CoD: Advanced Warfare, we posit that Nintendo hates condoms photo

Max and I have hippie liberal hipster opinions about CoD: Advanced Warfare

Max and I were playing Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare while hungover, and started devolving into dumber and dumber jokes, and then Max busts out a term like "jingoistic proto-fascism" because we're a couple of San Francisco hipsters who definitely don't have informed, individually refined opinions about things because the world is a vampire and everything is fake.   more

Max and I have hippie liberal hipster opinions about CoD: Advanced Warfare photo

We were playing CoD: Advanced Warfare, but we wanted to hang with Stephan at the skate park

Max and I continue to fumble around in Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare, as our minds wander to some predictably stupid places. We talk about meeting an imaginary teen named Stephan at the skate park, how to find "The Boob," and aggravatingly stupid YouTube comments.   more

We were playing CoD: Advanced Warfare, but we wanted to hang with Stephan at the skate park photo

Talking about Gilmore Girls while playing Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare just doesn't seem right

Max and I continue giving the benefit of the doubt to Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare. Max started talking about a crazy theory he has connecting the television shows Gilmore Girls and Californication because his brain was polluted by a combination of oysters and vodka. Don't do booze, kids.   more

Talking about Gilmore Girls while playing Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare just doesn't seem right photo

Majora's Mask is my favorite game about being a young adult

Ocarina of Time is one of those incredibly well made games that just never clicked with me. Maybe it's because it was too much like A Link to the Past, except everything looks worse and takes longer to do. Maybe it's bec...   more

Majora's Mask is my favorite game about being a young adult photo

Max and I suck at Advanced Warfare, but that never stops us from doing anything

Max and I got our hands on a copy of Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare. We figured we should probably play it because people like to watch men get sweaty in videogames or whatever. Anyway, we recorded this the day after Max's birthday, so we were both pretty hungover, which served to exacerbate our lack of shooter skill and the incoherence of our jokes. Enjoy.   more

Max and I suck at Advanced Warfare, but that never stops us from doing anything photo

Hardline 35: Majora's Mask 3DS, plural amiibo, and Paris smells like candy

[This episode of Hardline is sponsored by The Crew. We're giving away a silly amount of codes for this weekend's beta on PlayStation 4 and Xbox One right now. Claim yours here.] It's been a while since Brett, Steven, and I h...   more

Hardline 35: Majora's Mask 3DS, plural amiibo, and Paris smells like candy photo

Blizzard fails to announce Rock & Roll Racing 2

Over at Blizzcon today, Blizzard announced its first new IP in 17 years, Overwatch. However, the studio also failed to announce any tentative plans to release Rock & Roll Racing 2, a cartoonish adversarial racing game fea...   more

Blizzard fails to announce Rock & Roll Racing 2 photo

Bayonetta 2 is giving me the Tetris effect

Bayonetta kicked my ass last week, but I finished it (after giving in and switching the difficulty setting to Easy). I survived Gracious and Glorious, and sent you-know-who hurtling into the you-know-what. Damn, what a cool g...   more

Bayonetta 2 is giving me the Tetris effect photo

Bloggers Wanted: Giving Thanks

[This month's Dtoid Community Assignment is all about being thankful!] November is a great month. The weather is nicer. The leaves turn. Things slow down a bit in the waking world while we all gear up for the holidays. The on...   more

Bloggers Wanted: Giving Thanks photo

Villains should be eating sandwiches in Shadow Warrior

Max and I wrap up our dip into Shadow Warrior on PS4. We make weird sex noises, talk about Bone Thugz-N-Harmony, and, I, as always, end up declaring I want to watch Demolition Man.   more

Villains should be eating sandwiches in Shadow Warrior photo

We took the road less traveled in Shadow Warrior

As we forge on in Shadow Warrior on PS4, Max makes the mistake of letting me play for a bit. Then I ran all the way down the nearby streets and discovers some weird canopied cities filled with inactive robots at the end of the road. And now I have Boyz II Men stuck in my head.   more

We took the road less traveled in Shadow Warrior photo

I didn't think I'd enjoy Bayonetta this much

Fighting angels as a witch dressed up like Samus Aran is a fun way to spend an evening. I'm several years late to playing Bayonetta, a game I might have never sought out had Nintendo and Platinum not packaged it in with its W...   more

I didn't think I'd enjoy Bayonetta this much photo

We went all Peter Gabriel in Shadow Warrior

Max and I continue our rampage through Shadow Warrior on PS4. We try to figure out who wrote the song "Sledgehammer," and discover the in-game arcade machines. We also decided that everything was made out of raspberry jam.   more

We went all Peter Gabriel in Shadow Warrior photo

Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel illustrates the danger of nebulous season passes

Over the weekend, details came out of PAX Australia regarding the first downloadable Vault Hunter for Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel. At first, it looked to me like a commendable gesture for a series that receives a lot of criti...   more

Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel illustrates the danger of nebulous season passes photo

Radio Dtoid 048: Nerd Herding

Radio Destructoid is our official community-focused podcast! Join Aaron "Mxy" Yost (Forums Admin), ConorElsea.com (US Community Manager), Beccy Caine (EU Community Manager), Kyle MacGregor (Contributor), and Mr Andy Dixon as ...   more

Radio Dtoid 048: Nerd Herding photo

Condemned: Criminal Origins holds up better than expected

When I think back to the Xbox 360 launch, a few games immediately come to mind: Kameo, Project Gotham Racing 3, and Perfect Dark Zero. You had to take what you could get in late 2005 and hope your console didn't red ring. Min...   more

Condemned: Criminal Origins holds up better than expected photo


Condemned: Criminal Origins holds up better than expected photo
Condemned: Criminal Origins holds up better than expected photo
Condemned: Criminal Origins holds up better than expected photo
Condemned: Criminal Origins holds up better than expected photo
Condemned: Criminal Origins holds up better than expected photo
Condemned: Criminal Origins holds up better than expected photo



Hardline 34: Creepy games and crappy people

Happy (early) Halloween! For this week's Hardline, Bill, Brett, and I reminisced about unintentionally scary games that bothered us as kids while Steven was off on the other side of the world throwing bread down a hole. Hope you like your podcasts full of tangents. For the audio-only episode, you can subscribe on iTunes and RSS or download directly.   more

Hardline 34: Creepy games and crappy people photo

We don't know what the heck is going on in Shadow Warrior

Max and I continue our journey through Shadow Warrior on PS4. We get really confused as to what was going on, so we finally turned on the subtitles. In doing so, we also discover the special weapon skins, including a badass Hotline Miami katana.   more

We don't know what the heck is going on in Shadow Warrior photo

We're doing a drunken livestream of Titan Souls

[Disclosure: This stream is sponsored by Devolver Digital in as far as they sent us a build of the game and a couple of strong beers and novelty tankards with which to drink them. Our live commentary will be influenced only b...   more

We're doing a drunken livestream of Titan Souls photo

Flyin' to my heart: Seven videogame songs that actually excite me

It's tough for me to get excited these days. I ain't jaded, I just hate it. Actually, it's not like I hate everything. I simply feel anxious nearly every waking moment of my life. I need something to look forward to, no matte...   more

Flyin' to my heart: Seven videogame songs that actually excite me photo

So what exactly is a deck-building game anyway?

A number of videogames have shown up lately with the gameplay adjective "deck-building" in their descriptions. Steve Swink took a break from developing Scale in order to release Dad's Building a Deck. Coin...   more

So what exactly is a deck-building game anyway? photo

DEFINITIVE TOP 9 VIDEOGAME CATS OF ALL TIME

Today is National Cat Day, apparently. Good lord, there is a National Cat Day. I'm not quite sure what to make of that. A list article maybe? The Internet seems to like those. Yeah, let's do this. Here are Destructoid's top 10 favorite videogame cats of all time. No, wait. Top nine! Nine cats for nine lives. Now that headline really purrs.   more

DEFINITIVE TOP 9 VIDEOGAME CATS OF ALL TIME photo

Literally amazing! I let a stray cat into my friend's house and then put it in the tub with a Kinect

It's National Kitties Are F*cking Adorable and Awesome Day. The best day of the year, in my opinion. To celebrate, I let a stray cat into my friend's house and he beelined to the shower. That's how cats roll (when they feel ...   more

Literally amazing! I let a stray cat into my friend's house and then put it in the tub with a Kinect photo

We took our anger out on the furniture in Shadow Warrior on PS4

Max and I decided to check out Shadow Warrior, which was recently ported from PC to consoles, is a re-imagining of the 1997 game by 3D Realms. It's sort of like Duke Nukem with the culturally ignorant Asian themes of Mortal Kombat. I had my doubts about this game, but as you can see in the video above, I think it's kind of just dumb fun. Also, we rock out to Stan Bush and make dumb jokes.   more

We took our anger out on the furniture in Shadow Warrior on PS4 photo

Dark water and the things below give me the shivers

If we're all confessing our gaming-related fears, I might as well share mine. I can't stand the water. More specifically, I can't stand what lives under the water. If there is ever a section of a game that will make me want to stop playing, it probably involves getting your toes wet and taking a little swim with, well, whatever. I can thank Super Mario Bros. 3 for this phobia.    more

Dark water and the things below give me the shivers photo

I miss demo discs

It's hard not to sound like an old man when you go off on something like this. Decrying modern advancement in favor of some kind of nostalgic never-was is always a terrific way to seem out of touch. Intellectually, I know tha...   more

I miss demo discs photo

I think videogames made me hate funhouses

I don't like funhouses, although, I suppose I haven't given them a fair shake. I've never been inside one, but I'm pretty certain that makes no difference. You see, videogames trained me at a very young age to hate funhouses....   more

I think videogames made me hate funhouses photo

Earthworm Jim 2 scares me to this day

Leading up to Halloween, I've been wanting to write about horror games because that's what you do in October, right? I still might; I'm playing the oft-recommended Fatal Frame II for the first time now and am planning to revi...   more

Earthworm Jim 2 scares me to this day photo

If Bungie envisions Destiny as an MMO, it should start acting like it

Destiny was a functional game at launch, but a number of design choices were made that left all of us scratching our heads. The Cryptarch system in 1.0 was horrible in that it allowed players to earn legendary engrams (r...   more

If Bungie envisions Destiny as an MMO, it should start acting like it photo

Nintendo doesn't always let you buy the things that you want

Nintendo recently announced that classic Pokémon character and fan favorite Mewtwo will be in Super Smash Bros. for the Wii U and 3DS, but only for those who buy both games. Immediately, fans wondered if this meant tha...   more

Nintendo doesn't always let you buy the things that you want photo

Talking about the Tequila Basement while playing 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand

We're reaching the end of our stupid drunken 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand stream, and not getting any more coherent. We shared our tales of drinking tequila in a basement with actual real-world videogame publisher, Devolver Di...   more

Talking about the Tequila Basement while playing 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand photo

100% Series Retrospective: Diablo

Things have been crazy at Destructoid since I became the Reviews Director. On my first week, I had to tackle a new Ratchet & Clank, Super Mario 3D World, and three other games. It hasn't let up after that, and as a result...   more

100% Series Retrospective: Diablo photo

Destructoid shirts now going for $14.95

All t-shirts on the Destructoid store have been dropped down to $14.95! We've lowered the price, saving you a few bucks. Hoodies are still between $24.95 to $34.95, and as always you'll get free shipping worldwide on orders over $60. These are also going to be the last run prints on all the designs we have in the store currently. So once they're gone they'll be gone for good!   more

Destructoid shirts now going for $14.95 photo

If 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand were about Eminem, it might be like Deadpool

In this segment of our drunken 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand stream, I think we're mostly just getting drowsy. Max talks about the evolution of Eminem and I yell at my roommate for texting me about laundry during the stream.   more

If 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand were about Eminem, it might be like Deadpool photo

Dr. Capcom's monster: Resident Evil 5 blows

Halloween approaches and my evenings have been filled with practical effects and Italian prog rock as The Thing, Inferno, Suspiria et al. grace my TV. Dale North recently wrote on why survival horror might just be old ha...   more

Dr. Capcom's monster: Resident Evil 5 blows photo

Very Quick Tips: Civilization: Beyond Earth

Civilization: Beyond Earth is fantastic, but even though it does a lot through tutorial popups, missions, and the Civilopedia to help new players, it can still be daunting. With several new systems in place, even series veter...   more

Very Quick Tips: Civilization: Beyond Earth photo

Slowpoke: A short story

It was morning. Slowpoke's eyes casually fluttered open, as bit by bit the creature came to the realization it had survived another night. Costively, Slowpoke began mulling over what to do with its day. This went on for some ...   more

Slowpoke: A short story photo

We wanted to play 'Ninja Mystery,' the game inside 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand

Max and I are really getting goofy on Bacardi and Vitamin Water in this portion of our live playthrough of 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand. We discover an awesome arcade cabinet called Ninja Mystery in the game. We also talk abou...   more

We wanted to play 'Ninja Mystery,' the game inside 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand photo

Hatred proves that we need violence to mean something again

Last week, we saw the announcement and reveal trailer for Hatred -- a game that puts the player in control of a suicidal person who sets off on a rampage to kill as many citizens and cops as possible before being killed ...   more

Hatred proves that we need violence to mean something again photo

Radio Dtoid 047: Kurt Sparrow: Super Spy

Radio Destructoid is our official community-focused podcast! Join Aaron "Mxy" Yost (Forums Admin), ConorElsea.com (US Community Manager), Beccy Caine (EU Community Manager), Kyle MacGregor (Contributor), and Mr Andy Dixon as ...   more

Radio Dtoid 047: Kurt Sparrow: Super Spy photo

Pay phones are swear stores in 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand

Max and I are getting steadily more drunk in this segment of our 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand livestream. We get a little drunkenly political, considerably more stupid, and start to wonder if Nick Robinson will ever show up.   more

Pay phones are swear stores in 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand photo

We learned Fiddy doesn't need to move his mouth to swear in 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand

Watch the slow progression of our drunken stupidity as we continue to trudge through 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand. In this segment, I try to make my Bacardi and Vitamin Water cocktail less terrible with lime juice, sadly to no avail. Then Max and I poop a bunch of nonsense from our mouths, as usual.   more

We learned Fiddy doesn't need to move his mouth to swear in 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand  photo

We don't recommend eating a whole turkey before you play Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel

Max and I round out the first hour of Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel with groggy, terrible jokes. We also talked about the mysteries of Boz Scaggs. And... stuff.   more

We don't recommend eating a whole turkey before you play Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel photo

We formed a gang called Youngsters With Gumption while playing 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand

Max and I got drunk and played 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand on Destructoid Twitch channel, because we’re idiots. In this installment, the boys discuss Eazy E, Rocky IV, Obie Trice, and ghetto workout videos.   more

We formed a gang called Youngsters With Gumption while playing 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand photo