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Oh wait, my bad! Mario Kart doesn't even have text support! photo

Alright, so remember how I said that Mario Kart for the Wii will support text chatting? Well I was completely wrong. Or rather, Nintendo has no idea what the hell texting means. Here's the deal, Mario Kart will only support pre-determined phrases that people can send to each other, which Nintendo will provide. So phrases like "Hello", "Lets race!" and "Lets have fun!" are some of the things that are safe to assume will be available. 

Thank God you're here to protect us Nintendo! I was really worried you were slipping. Thank you so much for babysitting the fan base and keeping them safe from the pedophiles and creeps of the Internet. If you're mad about this, than you're obviously one of the evil people. No doubt that you want to send children messages like "Your tears turn me on." and "I have a lollipop in my pants for you." You people make me sick. 

[Via Kotaku


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146 comments | showing # 51 to 100

David Quinn Carder's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 03:00
David Quinn Carder
http://www.destructoid.com/no-voice-chat-for-brawl-say-it-ain-t-so--71521.phtml

Reruns, reruns . . .

I haven't liked any Mario Kart games since Mario Kart 64, but that's really beside the point. This is . . . I mean, how can you describe this? Retarded? It doesn't have the punch. The speechless photo of Picard in this article sums my feelings up, I guess.

What the Hell, Nintendo? I loved you.
Gen Eric Gui's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 03:25
Gen Eric Gui
Ok, that's fucking enough.

They left out ONE FUCKING OPTION and it's getting compared to torture.

I thought we were above this.

I guess fucking not.


Let me know when a game's worth is based on how fun it is, as opposed to what optional features it has.
pedrovay2003's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 03:29
pedrovay2003
@Gen Eric Gui

No fucking kidding, dude. It's a fucking VIDEO GAME. Note the word "game" in there.

"Oh, no! You can't talk to people? I'm gonna go kill myself, the depression is so bad!"

Sure, it would have been nice to have voice or text chat, but you know what? If you get THAT worked up about a game, you probably have too many psychological problems to be allowed to play games anyway.
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 03:32
AgentMOO
@Gen Eric Gui

It's a pretty big issue if you can't fucking communicate with your friends while playing a game. Are we supposed to call each other on the phones or something?
Gen Eric Gui's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 03:32
Gen Eric Gui
@pedrovay2003: Exactly. Thank you.
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 03:33
Justice
Isn't that the same as smash bros?
JJBro1's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 03:38
JJBro1
why is nintendo tripping? They had FULL voice chat for diamond and pearl and nothing wrong went there. OMG they are so paranoid, can't they just ride on the "Game experience may change during online play" statement? Its made by the ESRB for a reason. And when is nintendo gonna smarten up and actually put parental controls to use? If they don't want their kids talking to chester the molester then they should have the option to turn chat off.
Leon-G's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 03:49
Leon-G
Its times like this that make me glad I own a 360.

and im tired of people saying stuff like.. games are about fun, not about online play or voice chat or competition... guess what? All that stuff IS fun. Fun for me at least... but nintendo doesnt seem to want to provide it for me. What a bunch of prics.
Leon-G's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 03:51
Leon-G
oh yeah and about what JJBro1 said. I have no idea why they offer voice chat for some ds games but wont do it for the wii. I honestly cant come up with any reason for it.
CALkulon's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 03:56
CALkulon
This gets worse every day.

I want to laugh at my friends when I shell him, I want to hear them piss them themselves laughing when I fall off a bridge or something. Taking that out completely ruins the personal element of the game and therefore some of the FUN.

But thanks Nintendo, at least I won't get raped now. Great.
slapme7times's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 04:41
slapme7times
as long as the phrase 'screw you, bitch' is one of the message options, it probably won't change how I currently communicate in videogames.
Mr Bas's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 04:55
Mr Bas
Sucks ass, VC isn't that important but if they add a feature like text chat, they should do it like MSN/ICQ/IRC... Well sucks to be a Wii owner like me, the game is still going to kick ass..
Cheeburga's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 05:07
Cheeburga
Epic Quail Fulton.
Zelnor's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 05:11
Zelnor
I don't get what everyone is complaining about. Who cares about voice chat ? Mario Kart Wii and, to a lesser degree but nonetheless, Super Smash Bros Brawl are in online mode designed for single-player all round. You see it, you smash it. There are not enough opportunities for team building, and even if you online-play in teams, those games aren't strategy-based enough to need voice chat. Voice chat is the quickest possibility today to get information across to your fellow players without having to get the finger off the trigger, but that has no real place in Mario Kart or Brawl - There are no enormous monster hordes that need careful monitoring. There are no missions that need exact timing and that can be planned upon. Both games are sufficiently chaotic to be never really alike - different map, different item drop, different whatever.
Maybe people complain because they think it makes their Wii less worth, maybe because they think Nintendo is backing down to Thompson & Friends, the last thing most gamers would ever even dare to consider wanting, or they think the Wii is too guimmick-y and needs more serious technology.

I, personally, am relieved that Nintendo has not even considered putting in that aggression potential spawning machine. What good would voice-chat do in Brawl or Kart ? Nothing but have annoying 13 year-old boys cuss and slur at you and feeling big, tough and manly because they can't see you and you can't see them and you don't sit next to them and smack them up when they start fapping at their owen "MAD SKILLZ!!!!1111oneoneelecen OMG UR MOMS A WHORE U SUCK U HAX".

Conclusion: Thank you, Nintendo, for avoiding the biggest awoker of the GIFT (Greater Internet Fuckwad Thory, which states: Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Fuckwad.)
ScottEFresh's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 05:12
ScottEFresh
The sad thing is when Online gaming becomes the standard in a few years Nintendo will FAIL epicly. Enjoy it Nintendo fans while you can...the Wii is a FAD and Nintendo is enjoying their last successful console of all time.
Zelnor's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 05:17
Zelnor
I don't get what everyone is complaining about. Who cares about voice chat ? Mario Kart Wii and, to a lesser degree but nonetheless, Super Smash Bros Brawl are in online mode designed for single-player all round. You see it, you smash it. There are not enough opportunities for team building, and even if you online-play in teams, those games aren't strategy-based enough to need voice chat. Voice chat is the quickest possibility today to get information across to your fellow players without having to get the finger off the trigger, but that has no real place in Mario Kart or Brawl - There are no enormous monster hordes that need careful monitoring. There are no missions that need exact timing and that can be planned upon. Both games are sufficiently chaotic to be never really alike - different map, different item drop, different whatever.
Maybe people complain because they think it makes their Wii less worth, maybe because they think Nintendo is backing down to Thompson & Friends, the last thing most gamers would ever even dare to consider wanting, or they think the Wii is too guimmick-y and needs more serious technology.

I, personally, am relieved that Nintendo has not even considered putting in that aggression potential spawning machine. What good would voice-chat do in Brawl or Kart ? Nothing but have annoying 13 year-old boys cuss and slur at you and feeling big, tough and manly because they can't see you and you can't see them and you don't sit next to them and smack them up when they start fapping at their owen "MAD SKILLZ!!!!1111oneoneelecen OMG UR MOMS A WHORE U SUCK U HAX".

Conclusion: Thank you, Nintendo, for avoiding the biggest awoker of the GIFT (Greater Internet Fuckwad Thory, which states: Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Fuckwad.)
Eschatos's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 05:25
Eschatos
Pedophiles can still rape children with generic chat phrases! This fails!
XEROXM3's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 05:38
XEROXM3
@ Zelnor: I'm assuming you've played Smash and Mario Kart with friends right? Most of the fun comes from playing with friends and talking a little trash. Nothing vulgar really or over the top, but enough to make it funny. Also in games like that last second turtle shells or a super lucky item drop can create amazing endings to games. Basically you're talking away a major part of what makes the multiplayer experience so much fun. So yeah stuff like this sucks.
Drunken Haze's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 05:38
Drunken Haze
Nintendos painfuly slow european translations and rediculous excuse for an online service have made it quite clear to me that they dont want my kind of person using their console.
Usedtabe's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 05:39
Usedtabe
Look at all the idiot apologists who still refuse to acknowledge that some people want to play and chat with THEIR FRIENDS. It isn't just about the random idiots you meet. Like I've stated before, I honestly feel nintendo has been dragging their feet so bad with online implimentation becuase they want to protect the public from their ridiculous fantards. And yes, I own a wii. And a 360. And at this point, even the system that I don't own(PS3) hasn't disappointed me as much as my wii.
Elrando's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 05:45
Elrando
To all the morons saying this is a good thing because you don't have to listen to screaming idiot children, please go play Halo 3, it takes about 3 seconds to mute someone.

Hell you can turn chat off if it bothers you so much.
PrinceofCannedPeaches's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 06:01
PrinceofCannedPeaches
The internet is serious business... with breaks for pederasty.
WDot's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 06:07
WDot
This one time me and my friends were logged into an IRC server while we played Mario Kart DS against each other online. Between matches we'd talk trash and talk about the game.

You know how many times we did that? ONE because that's STUPID. Real life only matches happened after that.

Maybe that's Nintendo's goal? Make online play so spectacularly shitty that we'll have no choice but to go over to each other's houses EVERY TIME WE WANT TO PLAY A GAME.
Zelnor's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 06:23
Zelnor
@XEROXM3: I'm from Germany. So no, I haven't played them. D= We are at the ass of the release schedules worldwide.
However, I do have to agree - It's nice to add a bit of life to the game via voice chat, as you know then that you're playing against real people.

Problem is, tell that to the pubescent egostrokers.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 06:51
Mxyzptlk
Somehow I'll manage to survive. Nintendo can run their online service however they want. If they want to play it retard safe, that's their call. You want to change things, don't buy their games and write actual well-thought paper letters to them instead of bitching on a blog, making shops, or starting a fucking internet petition. The childish way people are responding to this pretty much guarantees they will continue to ignore you.
jdub28's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 07:04
jdub28
does nintendo have an official forum that we can move this over to
Pixel Blue's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 07:17
Pixel Blue
Voice chat means nothing to me when I'm playing a game with random people. It just goes straight to ridiculous Halo the "wtf *#@!ing n00b pwned" crap parodied higher in the thread.

Voice chat means nothing to me when my friends are in the room. We can yell at each other and crow and cry "noooooooo" when some epic failure has occurred.

But I'm moving, and most of my friends will be far away soon. It would be nice if we could all still play together and yell and scream and do all that stuff. I wouldn't mind if you could only have voice comm between you and your "wii friends". Those are the only people I want to talk to anyway. That's why this decision has me bummed.
deanhatescoffee's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 07:19
deanhatescoffee
This doesn't really bother me considering I probably never would've used the texting anyway. Voice, on the other hand...
Aertyr's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 07:24
Aertyr
Nintendo no longer cares about the hardcore gaming audience. They sell to kids, that's why the sell so much. I'm nor surprised at all. Nintendo , oh how you have fallen.
SWE3tMadness's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 07:27
SWE3tMadness
*facepalm*

I'm still going to buy the game, but I just can't see why they can't at least utilze voice or text chat for friend matches. ;_;
nightv's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 07:33
nightv
This is why I am not buying this...

We are in a day and age where this should not be happening.
It should be ether online multi player, or not online at all.

If I wanted to play vs a name-less faceless player I will use the built in AI.

Why even make something online, If your not even communicating with other players.

Who ever is pulling the strings at Nintendo is going to make them fail.

I is only going to be so long till the people move on to bigger better things for this system with the amount of flaws they have now.

They need HDTV set up online community, and to stop shit developers from making crap games on there system.

I hate to say this but if this keeps going I am going to buy a PS3 now and just abandon Nintendo all together.

Nintendo you just lost one more fan, congrats.
X3x3non's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 07:34
X3x3non
Gen Eric Gui all they would have to do is add voice chat an a functionality to disable any incoming text/voice for those who want to avoid the flaming. Honestly, it wouldn't be that big of a deal.

Also, troglodyte.
DeusPayne's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 07:35
DeusPayne
With all this though, I doubt they've fixed the fact that you can make a Mii with a penis for a face. FUCK SHIT BITCH ASS CUNT! Penis face.
Kaspar's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 07:37
Kaspar
The gaming community should take a fucking stand and let Nintendo know that we don't want no broken online gamin'.

This is getting seriously riduculous and I am very close to putting my Wii off for sale. Don't have to stand shit like this with the PC.
notdryad's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 07:47
notdryad
@Gen Eric

Get the fuck out of here fanboy. Shouldn't you be slobbering over Reggie's dick right now?
realyst's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 07:52
realyst
Nintendo fears the internet.

Too many pipes without short, chubby, Italian stereotypes in them.
Luigi takes over's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 08:13
Luigi takes over
...Okay, even I can't defend Nintendo on this one.
The6Freak's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 08:16
The6Freak
nothing is a better aphrodisiac than the tears of children.
it's even approved by the FDA ;D
Rpg_Worshiper's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 08:16
Rpg_Worshiper
OLP! Gay Kitty Still Says That This Is GAY!


Tubatic's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 08:25
Tubatic
Agreeing with Mxyzptlk on this one.

The important thing is that its Mario Kart's playable online, with the in-game actions of other real people Good enough for me. Certainly not enough to make me all Internet Jihad this fine morning.
Holyetheline's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 08:25
Holyetheline
"your tears turn me on"

HAHAHA
ToxinBlackheart's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 08:33
ToxinBlackheart
Aww c'mon guys. Preprogrammed phrases worked really well in Resident Evil: Outbreak.

R-right?!
linuxguy's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 08:33
linuxguy
I bet the game will be one floppies
tincow's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 08:41
tincow
Surely you people see *why*, even if you agree/disagree with it, right?

The general atmosphere between games with voice chat/open servers/etc is just completely different than those with friend codes/closed servers/limited chat rooms/voice chats.

They seem to want to keep the latter atmosphere and be more family friendly, for better or worse. It isn't about them nannying you and keeping you guys from molesting children...they know you'll find a way!

Or is it just fun to freak out in a Wii thread every day?
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 08:45
Snaileb
Fuck you Nintendo. It's not fun to see one of the oldest video game companies fuck up so bad. Idiots.
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 09:03
Snaileb
Is there any way in the future that they could implement voice chat through DLC, like with characters? No answer from the c-blog crew.
Leathersoup's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2008 09:06
Leathersoup
This is why I laughed when Reggie slammed the Xbox 360.
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