12:23 AM on 02.28.2008
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Alright, so remember how I said that Mario Kart for the Wii will support text chatting? Well I was completely wrong. Or rather, Nintendo has no idea what the hell texting means. Here's the deal, Mario Kart will only support pre-determined phrases that people can send to each other, which Nintendo will provide. So phrases like "Hello", "Lets race!" and "Lets have fun!" are some of the things that are safe to assume will be available. Thank God you're here to protect us Nintendo! I was really worried you were slipping. Thank you so much for babysitting the fan base and keeping them safe from the pedophiles and creeps of the Internet. If you're mad about this, than you're obviously one of the evil people. No doubt that you want to send children messages like "Your tears turn me on." and "I have a lollipop in my pants for you." You people make me sick. [Via Kotaku]
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Nintendo are a bunch of pansy-asses
Awww, but I had "Would you like to see the DvD collection in my Basement" ready to go!
Nintendo does not know how to run an online service.
"If you're mad about this, than you're obviously one of the evil people. No doubt that you want to send children messages like "Your tears turn me on." and "I have a lollipop in my pants for you." You people make me sick."
I love you so much CTZ.
Thanks Nintendo! I was really worried I would have to endure people making horrible text smileys like this one
=0 (=============
after every races. If a young child ever saw such a thing, they would obviously be scarred for life and grow up to be insane psychopaths, similar to Jack Thompson.
Phew, my special place is safe!
THANKS NINTENDO!
Confirmed for text chat:
"I'm gonna put a baby in you."
Goddammit Nintendo.
the game isn't looking that good anyway. just mario kart double dash, but cleaning out the lame double dash shit.
so basically, mario kart ds with GC graphics and lame bikes.
i have little excitement for this.
Nintendo sucks at the internet.
I'd prefer to be ass raped by the internet then deal with Nintendo's bullshit.
Approved chat messages:
"Hi!"
"I win!"
"I'm sad!"
"I'm wearing Spiderman underpants, thanks for asking!"
"I am eleven years old and my parents are at work Monday through Friday until seven pm. My grandmother watches me during the day but she's catatonic from the loss of grandpa to "the gays" as she put it, so someone would have easy access to getting into my house and raping the shit out of me."
"Good Game!"
What the fuck is going on with nintendo right now? more people have DS's than wiis but they build a microphone into the DS and then limit online play on the wii to hell? whatever happened to consoles being better than handhelds?
so...I can't find those crazy little 15 year old kids acting like grown 30 year olds?
THANKS NINTENDO! You guys sure help me get through my gaming experience so much better![/sarcasm]
what's next? Playing the computer online? Oh wait, Brawl has that. ^_^ Nintendo Wins.
"Hello, Nintendo. Your lame."
Thanks phedophiles! You broke the internet, now nobody gets to talk.
Give us a choice god dammit!
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwtttttttttttttttttfffffffffffffffffff
Is Nintendo's abortion of an online strategy starting to rank up there with Jack on the list of things people just don't care about anymore?
It certainly is for me.
Smash Bros. will likely be the last Nintendo game I ever purchase. So this has no real effect on me, but as someone who used to support Nintendo wholeheartedly, it's shit like this that makes me sick to the point where I have abandoned not only hope, but the company as a whole.
There are no Smash Bros. or Mario Kart equivalents on 360 or PS3. So if you're a fan of either one of those games, you have no choice but to buy them on Wii no matter how bad the online is. Nintendo knows that anyone who was ever going to buy theses games will buy them no matter what. So all they have to do is add some half assed online service to their games to give people who already have Gamecubes a reason to buy a Wii, and they spend the rest of their time marketing to the soccer moms and old people who think they're getting in shape playing Wii bowling for 10 minutes every day before Dr. Phil comes on.
Microsoft(and Sony to a lesser extent) has to have great online in order to sell their consoles/games, but Nintendo doesn't. Nintendo will have a good online service when demand forces them to, and not any sooner.
Amazing how a feature unrelated to actual gameplay is more important than, well, GAMEPLAY.
Come on. If they said they were removing half the weapons, I would actually be complaining.
@Lord the Night Knight
The reason I'm not going to pick it up is not becuase of chat. I'm never buying another Mario Kart game again till they remove Snakeing.
I used to be optimistic about Nintendo getting into online and was always hopeful they would actually get it right at some point. Now I just don't give a shit.
Come on people.
It's MARIO KART.
Do you really need to fucking talk to the other person playing the game that badly? Really? Are you fucking setting up squad-based kart tactics now or something? No? Then you don't need fucking voice chat.
IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER. It's Mario Kart. As long as I can race around a Mario-themed track in a vaguely kart-shaped object and fire turtle shells and banana peels at other players and power slide around corners, that's all that's really required. The very fact that I can now do this online has me head over heels excited for this game.
Stop making such a big fuss about such totally unnecessary bullshit and care more about the game itself plz k thnx.
This is an abomination. An abomination, I tell you!
THIS AGGRESSION WILL NOT STAND!
Rejected text phrases:
"I got a RROD"
"I'll kill you if you use a "p" in owned."
"I believe in a free democracy that isn't bound by lobbyists."
"Oh dip!"
"Make sure to add me to your MySpace"
"Magnum sized please"
"Slick young boys"
"w00t"
"Sex"
"Breast cancer"
"Wii"
"Poopy head face"
"Meanie-bo-beanie"
"Gene Shalit"
"T9 Text chat"
Fun to see people saying voice chat doesn't matter. Nothing like having to use to Skype to talk to a friend of yours when you're playing together.
I FUCKING CALLED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Do you really need to fucking talk to the other person playing the game that badly? Really?"
In game? No, not really. In the lobby while trying to set up a match or after the race? Hell. Bloody. Yes.
Thank the gods! this is great
And no I am not being sarcastic.
I love this decision, I do not want to hear all the bullshit that comes from the mouths or keyboards of oxygen thieves, I am so sick of the addition of text and voice to games, of it is fucking revolutionary you says?
<just cracked voice of 15 year old> haha i wtfpwn you you %*^*% *#*& coc^&*&er *#$(&# </just cracked voice of 15 year old>
Yeah
What a revolution
I support this decision wholeheartedley, thank you Nintendo for sparing me.
Nintendo is officially a parody of itself when it comes to online gaming. It's like, people make ridiculous exaggerations about how bad they are at it, but then Nintendo goes and actually does it.
@Jim: VC doesn't matter a damn whit. I never use it and I have no problem setting up online matches with people. And is it honestly THAT fucking important to you to be able to badmouth your opponent when you beat them?
If we were talking about some kind of squad-based shooter where you need to co-ordinate attacks and strategies, then yes, complain all you want about the lack of VC online. But for fucking MARIO KART? You guys are throwing the biggest damn hissy fit over something so completely trivial as Voice Chat in a damn KART RACING GAME. Think about that for a second.
"I support this decision wholeheartedley, thank you Nintendo for sparing me."
Yeah, 'cos there's NO such thing as a mute button, is there? Thank GOD for Nintendo and its nannying of grown men who can't seem to think for themselves. Hurrah!
I mute anyone I don't like on XBL, and only put my headset on when I'm with friends. See, when I play games online, I generally do it with friends for a SOCIAL experience. After all, that's part of what online gaming is about.
Nintendo should never have even fucking bothered and stayed in its "People don't want online games," shell.
Nintendo's safe approach to online is doing more harm than good. Friend codes are inconvenient and the lack of basic features such as voice cha and even proper text messaging is unacceptable in this day and age. I understand that Nintendo likes to do things differently, but alienating gamers is not a wise move.
I don't personally don't care all that much about voice chat as I'm not much of an online gamer to begin with.In fact, I never use it even in games like Counter-Strike. However, the feature would be nice to have in games like Brawl and Mario Lart and it would show that Nintendo is headed in the right direction with their online strategy.Unfortunately, it seems as this rate, that Nintendo may not change its mind until it releases its next new home console and starts to realize and correct its past mistakes. Hopefully.
On the bright side, as long as Mario Kart turns out to be a fun and well made game, then I can pretty much forgive its disappointing lack of proper online communication.
Basically, my question is this: why is the comment thread not a long series of facepalms?
I'll just use Live for the voice chat, then play Smash and Mario Kart online. Problem solved ghetto-style.
I should not have to do this though.
"Basically, my question is this: why is the comment thread not a long series of facepalms?"
Because some people love the idea of saying "Let's race!" over and over again, apparently.
The issue isn't just that we can't talk to each other in a racing game. This is quite possibly a sign of things to come, not just for Mario Kart and Brawl, but for whatever else Nintendo comes out with. What happens when they release their own Resistance or Halo or Call of Duty without voice or text chat?
Nintendo does not know how to run an online service. Period. If they continue to operate in this way, they will begin to lose their fanbase. Eventually, they're going to feel it.
Or some people don't give a fuck about talking online, and just want to play the damn game.
@Jim:
I myself don't necessarily need voice or text chat for online gaming, but I'm surprised anyone doesn't think this is a stupid decision on Nintendo's part.
Also,
FUCK Nintendo. seriously. They either need to scrap online play completely or fucking do it right.
And I have a message for all of you people that say "voice chat doesn't matter". YOU ARE FUCKING STUPID FUCKING IDIOTIC MORONS THAT HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. SHUT THE FUCK UP. GROW SOME FUCKING BALLS AND STOP LETTING NINTENDO POUND YOU IN THE FUCKING ASSHOLE WITH THEIR $10 MILLION DICK.
What he said.
Concerning that last comment, I'd like to clarify that I do think it's silly to leave the option out entirely. I mean the put VC into Planet Puzzle League for chrissakes. The thing I'm objecting to is the fact that everyone's making such a huge fucking deal over it! Yeah, it kinda sucks that I can't vocally taunt my opponents when I hit them with a turtle shell, but I'm still PLAYING MARIO KART ONLINE.
@ Gen Eric Gui.
Get a group of friends together and play Mario Kart Double Dash, Smash Bros Melee, what have you. Play one round where nobody talks at all. For the second round have everyone write 4 messages on peices paper and use them for communication. For the third round actually talk and yell at eachother.
When you're done, come back and tell us which round was the most fun.
If you're not up for this 3 round test then STFU.
@Namelessted: Can you say that you HONESTLY would rather not play Mario Kart online AT ALL, EVER, than have to play it without voice chat?
Right. Fuck the "Do it right or not at all" comments. That's a fucking stupid, ass-backwards way of thinking.
They make me regret buying my wii more and more everyday.
Most of the people I know who own a 360, one of the bigger reasons they got it, "so I could play with all my friends on xbox live".
Seriously, online stuff, pretty important.
And voice chat is hella important, because gaming doesn't give much time for texting, and without communication what's the point in playing with your friends?
@Gen Eric: I'm glad it's online. That should go without saying. That doesn't mean this is good news. Au contraire, it's fucking horrible.
Custom msg: HHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!
But to be completely serious; the people who want these features are not the target audience. Nintendo wants to be able to sell to moms and dads who can play online without learning fun new words like cunt, clusterfuck, and fag.
Nintendo's not being stupid, just playing it safe with their target crowd which is, unfortunately not us.
@ Jim
The same argument you just made for Mario Kart I made for Smash Brothers and still people insisted, "well, you see I don't want to talk to strangers. If you really want to talk to your friends you can use the phone." I felt like I was talking to Reggie's dinosaur ass himself. It was retarded.
am i the only person that really hates voice chat?
i pretty much hate the majority of people that play online and use voice chat... it just makes me sad that i play video games... and so do these people...
i really dont like the fixed text... i really dont like to have any form of communication with the other person im playing against. but if "Hi!" is going to be a fixed text choice... then it will be spammed to the fullest until the race starts... or whenever you can do it.
"Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!"
I'm glad they aren't going to let anyone write anything they want, if theres one thing that offends me more than hearing someone voice chat a swear word, it's having to fucking read one.
@ chicken
Clearly you're an anti-social laking any friends. Clearly.
Can you people get it through your thick skulls that voice chat isn't only meant for chatting it away with strangers?
I have friends. I sometimes don't have them around my house. We got on our consoles and we play. We talk while we play. We have a good time. See what I'm getting at?
You hating the feature doesn't mean it should be stripped away. Give people the option to use it. It's a standard, Nintendo.
http://www.destructoid.com/no-voice-chat-for-brawl-say-it-ain-t-so--71521.phtml
Reruns, reruns . . .
I haven't liked any Mario Kart games since Mario Kart 64, but that's really beside the point. This is . . . I mean, how can you describe this? Retarded? It doesn't have the punch. The speechless photo of Picard in this article sums my feelings up, I guess.
What the Hell, Nintendo? I loved you.
Ok, that's fucking enough.
They left out ONE FUCKING OPTION and it's getting compared to torture.
I thought we were above this.
I guess fucking not.
Let me know when a game's worth is based on how fun it is, as opposed to what optional features it has.
@Gen Eric Gui
No fucking kidding, dude. It's a fucking VIDEO GAME. Note the word "game" in there.
"Oh, no! You can't talk to people? I'm gonna go kill myself, the depression is so bad!"
Sure, it would have been nice to have voice or text chat, but you know what? If you get THAT worked up about a game, you probably have too many psychological problems to be allowed to play games anyway.
@Gen Eric Gui
It's a pretty big issue if you can't fucking communicate with your friends while playing a game. Are we supposed to call each other on the phones or something?
@pedrovay2003: Exactly. Thank you.
Isn't that the same as smash bros?
why is nintendo tripping? They had FULL voice chat for diamond and pearl and nothing wrong went there. OMG they are so paranoid, can't they just ride on the "Game experience may change during online play" statement? Its made by the ESRB for a reason. And when is nintendo gonna smarten up and actually put parental controls to use? If they don't want their kids talking to chester the molester then they should have the option to turn chat off.
Its times like this that make me glad I own a 360.
and im tired of people saying stuff like.. games are about fun, not about online play or voice chat or competition... guess what? All that stuff IS fun. Fun for me at least... but nintendo doesnt seem to want to provide it for me. What a bunch of prics.
oh yeah and about what JJBro1 said. I have no idea why they offer voice chat for some ds games but wont do it for the wii. I honestly cant come up with any reason for it.
This gets worse every day.
I want to laugh at my friends when I shell him, I want to hear them piss them themselves laughing when I fall off a bridge or something. Taking that out completely ruins the personal element of the game and therefore some of the FUN.
But thanks Nintendo, at least I won't get raped now. Great.
as long as the phrase 'screw you, bitch' is one of the message options, it probably won't change how I currently communicate in videogames.
Sucks ass, VC isn't that important but if they add a feature like text chat, they should do it like MSN/ICQ/IRC... Well sucks to be a Wii owner like me, the game is still going to kick ass..
Epic Quail Fulton.
I don't get what everyone is complaining about. Who cares about voice chat ? Mario Kart Wii and, to a lesser degree but nonetheless, Super Smash Bros Brawl are in online mode designed for single-player all round. You see it, you smash it. There are not enough opportunities for team building, and even if you online-play in teams, those games aren't strategy-based enough to need voice chat. Voice chat is the quickest possibility today to get information across to your fellow players without having to get the finger off the trigger, but that has no real place in Mario Kart or Brawl - There are no enormous monster hordes that need careful monitoring. There are no missions that need exact timing and that can be planned upon. Both games are sufficiently chaotic to be never really alike - different map, different item drop, different whatever.
Maybe people complain because they think it makes their Wii less worth, maybe because they think Nintendo is backing down to Thompson & Friends, the last thing most gamers would ever even dare to consider wanting, or they think the Wii is too guimmick-y and needs more serious technology.
I, personally, am relieved that Nintendo has not even considered putting in that aggression potential spawning machine. What good would voice-chat do in Brawl or Kart ? Nothing but have annoying 13 year-old boys cuss and slur at you and feeling big, tough and manly because they can't see you and you can't see them and you don't sit next to them and smack them up when they start fapping at their owen "MAD SKILLZ!!!!1111oneoneelecen OMG UR MOMS A WHORE U SUCK U HAX".
Conclusion: Thank you, Nintendo, for avoiding the biggest awoker of the GIFT (Greater Internet Fuckwad Thory, which states: Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Fuckwad.)
The sad thing is when Online gaming becomes the standard in a few years Nintendo will FAIL epicly. Enjoy it Nintendo fans while you can...the Wii is a FAD and Nintendo is enjoying their last successful console of all time.
I don't get what everyone is complaining about. Who cares about voice chat ? Mario Kart Wii and, to a lesser degree but nonetheless, Super Smash Bros Brawl are in online mode designed for single-player all round. You see it, you smash it. There are not enough opportunities for team building, and even if you online-play in teams, those games aren't strategy-based enough to need voice chat. Voice chat is the quickest possibility today to get information across to your fellow players without having to get the finger off the trigger, but that has no real place in Mario Kart or Brawl - There are no enormous monster hordes that need careful monitoring. There are no missions that need exact timing and that can be planned upon. Both games are sufficiently chaotic to be never really alike - different map, different item drop, different whatever.
Maybe people complain because they think it makes their Wii less worth, maybe because they think Nintendo is backing down to Thompson & Friends, the last thing most gamers would ever even dare to consider wanting, or they think the Wii is too guimmick-y and needs more serious technology.
I, personally, am relieved that Nintendo has not even considered putting in that aggression potential spawning machine. What good would voice-chat do in Brawl or Kart ? Nothing but have annoying 13 year-old boys cuss and slur at you and feeling big, tough and manly because they can't see you and you can't see them and you don't sit next to them and smack them up when they start fapping at their owen "MAD SKILLZ!!!!1111oneoneelecen OMG UR MOMS A WHORE U SUCK U HAX".
Conclusion: Thank you, Nintendo, for avoiding the biggest awoker of the GIFT (Greater Internet Fuckwad Thory, which states: Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Fuckwad.)
Pedophiles can still rape children with generic chat phrases! This fails!
@ Zelnor: I'm assuming you've played Smash and Mario Kart with friends right? Most of the fun comes from playing with friends and talking a little trash. Nothing vulgar really or over the top, but enough to make it funny. Also in games like that last second turtle shells or a super lucky item drop can create amazing endings to games. Basically you're talking away a major part of what makes the multiplayer experience so much fun. So yeah stuff like this sucks.
Nintendos painfuly slow european translations and rediculous excuse for an online service have made it quite c