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Ocarinas on sale at Renaissance Fair photo

A Deerfield Beach gamer sent in a photo of a man who has sex with inflatable women, has no respect for intellectual property, and sells the best hand-made Ocarina whistles from his stylish Hyrulian merchant cart. The curious fellow was spotted in our local Renaissance Festival by Dtoid reader Rick who writes: "Yes, the man in the booth was playing Zelda music on a flute at the time." How authentic! King Henry is turning in his grave tonight. I wonder if this guy's available for funerals and bar mitzvas.

Anyway, the festival draws in thousands of medieval cosplayers and spectators every year to practice their Shakespeare on each other like "unwashed broad" and "wench-so-foul". My friend Six loves Ren-Fest, so I had asked him to give me the highlights. Giant turkey legs aside: "Fat gothic chicks go around in really tight clothes, practically wearing their jubblies all hanging out in your face." 

Hmmm ... sounds like MySpace.








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25 comments | showing # 1 to 25
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TEH_JUICY_1's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 06:37
TEH_JUICY_1
Mmmmmm.....jubblies.

But i always thought fat goth chicks counted as wind instruments anyway?
Niero's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 06:43
Niero
lol damn
Milofo's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 07:08
Milofo
Last time I checked the Black Plague happened around the Renaissance. I still don't understand why people want to go back to that.

Is it me or does the guy checking out the Ocarinas look semi-goth. He's got the wearing black shorts and always wear boots down but he's got a non-black shirt on. Its almost like a wannabe goth.
Niero's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 07:16
Niero
That's the arguement I always get into people. They're all like "I wish I could go back to those times" and I'm like "uh, life expectancy of 30 years and virtually no sanitation anywhere -- you sure about that?"

I'll take deodorant and Honda's over broadswords any day.
parrothead's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 07:34
parrothead
I am headed there this weekend for a large turkey leg and an Ocarina, it is right down the road after all!
sumfight's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 07:37
sumfight
There was a guy very much like him at the fair i went to a few years back, he also sold metal hacky sacks :P
Dmbot's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 07:40
Dmbot
I'd hate to be an asshole, but it's bar mitzva.
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 07:40
Aaron Mxy Yost
They have mail-order adds for Ocarinas in the back of Nintendo Power every month, I've been tempted to buy one. Then I remember I have absolutely no musical talent. I could go for a turkey leg though.
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 08:01
Snaileb
Good morning you beautiful robots.

IM DRUNK BIATCH!!!

*goes back to work* ....dig the hole..
galagabug 's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 08:27
galagabug
i saw that guy, he really nails the songs from ocarina of time perfectly. a little too perfectly in fact. at one point he played a few notes, a horse came plowing up to his cart trampling everything in its path, including 2 children.

good times.
Los Milty's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 09:03
Los Milty
Yo niero, i say you storm the ren fest with the robot helm, they'll never know what hit 'em!
cjpkiller's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 09:13
cjpkiller
I agree with los milty
neiro show up at a ren fest totally decked out in the full robot suit
kick some ass
and leave
garenteed it will be on the local news.

also, I'm totally with you on the whole honda's over broadswords thing... living in fear of random bullshit just isnt cool.
oh look over yonder it be a dragon!

no dipshit thats just phil trying to put out his house that caught on fire because he forgot to put the fire out before sleep.

oh... HES A DEVIL! KILL HIM!
spikejnz's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 09:22
spikejnz
It's Bar or Bat Mitzvah, not Bah Mitzvah... but eh.

also, cocks!
bhive01's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 10:00
bhive01
Good to see Snaileb's around today.
LadyLucifer's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 10:19
LadyLucifer
Got a good laugh out of me, especially the part about fat gothic chicks jubblies hanging about resembling those seen on myspace profiles lol, it's so damn true it's sad.

spikejnz: maybe it's a new word. "Bah" being that of a politically correct Mizvah, sorta like "mailperson" and so on so forth.
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 11:18
Snaileb
Someone said jubblies...


Go buy a 360.
Lezbro's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 11:33
Lezbro
Seriously.

Come on.

Ocarinas at a renaissance fair?

THAT'S video game news?
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 11:41
Snaileb
@ Lezbro :

Well it's not news anymore! That was like... 10 minutes ago! Now it's just a story. Jeeeeez...(thnx for the chicken, and I was jk.)
LadyLucifer's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 12:49
LadyLucifer
Snaileb: But..but..but I don't want a 360 T_T I'm anti Xbox and proud :P

Here's comes the pain... lol
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 12:53
Snaileb
Fine, don't be assimilated by the system, see if I care!

*pain, pain, pain*

Got a Wii/PS3 then?

I was talking to bhive, and , I have all three. Just curious.
TONX's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 14:22
TONX
hey, this is across the street from my house, ill check this place out.
LadyLucifer's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 14:28
LadyLucifer
Snaileb: ya I have a PS3... I admit to this...no matter what they say *sniffle*
Here comes more pain i'm guessing *licks her wounds*
6669's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 16:22
6669
Whoa, I wonder how much he's selling them for?
velcroman's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/05/2007 16:50
velcroman
ladylucifer is a sony fan...girl! get 'er!

anyway, remember nintendo used to sell these in the back of the magazine? what? no one read nintendo power but me? hey! i was cool...when i was 10.
cjpkiller's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/06/2007 02:00
cjpkiller
hey.
I also have a ps3.
and I'm glad I've got it too.
because so far looks like you 360 bitches aren't getting metal gear solid 4, final fantasy 13(and the other two 13's), lair, and a slew of other gems.

but uh... I'm getting a 360 as well. so no harm done.

lady lucifer, and snaileb, go post your PSN names in the forums. seriously, I want to play with some people that are actually online once in a while.

TURKEY LEGS FOR THE WIN!
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