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The Internet is built on three principles: the pursuit of profit, the pursuit of humor and above all, the pursuit of naked chicks with awesome racks. With that in mind, I bring you the above footage from the upcoming Xbox 360 title Conan.

What the clip lacks in driving one's enemies before you or the lamentations of their women, it more than makes up for in sheer mammarian volume. While the ladies seem to have an intense disdain for Earth's physics, you can not fault their absolute commitment to their appointed roles: that of naked eye candy useful only for furthering the adolescent stereotype that women are objects only valued for their reproductive bits and the occasional baking session.

While this game might not add any fuel to the "games as art" debate, it certainly puts a sizable dent in virtual suffrage; but as I've always said, what sort of man wants to see women suffer?








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37 comments | showing # 1 to 37
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mackisawesome's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 09:53
mackisawesome
didn't play in HD
HarassmentPanda's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 09:53
HarassmentPanda
I played in High Def, always do. Haha, I love how the last girl stands up... it seemed so natural. I want to punch the makers of this game in the throat.
BS3 Owner's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 09:54
BS3 Owner
Conan has moved up in priority! LOL!
GuitarAtomik's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 09:54
GuitarAtomik
Nex, you reminded me of that really old Man Show episode where they got a bunch of women to chant "Stop Women's Suffrage!" in the middle of a crowd. Good times.
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 09:55
Samit Sarkar
Awesomesauce.
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 09:57
king3vbo
O wow bewbs
Volcanon's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 09:58
Volcanon
We definitely need more games with virtual TNA. Also, Conan is the shit.
Holyetheline's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 10:02
Holyetheline
I didn't like the demo for this game at all. It's worse then Dragonblade.... I mean, seriously.
nicojay's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 10:05
nicojay
I feel the developers missed a trick. They should give Conan some cheesy Arnie like one liners. If you're gonna silly DO SILLY
DryvBy's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 10:24
DryvBy
Well, I think they're going for the "sex sales" approach because that game demo was horrible. Still, what a pathetic day and age when people want more of virtual bewbs.
ShadowXOR's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 10:28
ShadowXOR
They should be bigger. :)
GuitarAtomik's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 10:30
GuitarAtomik
In their defense though, Conan wouldn't really be Conan without nudity and the exploitation of women.
Kryptinite's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 10:31
Kryptinite
.....what the hell was that?
Hammerhand's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 10:32
Hammerhand
Who knew the women of yore had NY accents?
Jetsetlemming's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 10:32
Jetsetlemming
Man, that was some awful voice acting on part of the second chick. Whiny and nasal, nothing at all like you'd expect in a medieval barbarian world's hot babe in need of rescue. :( I want sultry, dammit!
Jetsetlemming's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 10:34
Jetsetlemming
Oh, and tits are great. WE should have more games with them, even if they serve no purpose. We should have more games willing to say dirty words, too. I'm tired of the self-censorship in games. It does nothing but perpetuate stereotypes of the medium.
Zanch's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 10:40
Zanch
It may play like God of War's red-headed stepchild, but it certainly ups the boobie quotient a bit.
Your moms new boyfriend's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 11:06
Your moms new boyfriend
@ Mad Cow

What was once called ancient Cimmeria is now known simply as Long Island.
Yashoki's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 11:53
Yashoki
I WANT THAT SONG
SLiFE's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 12:40
SLiFE
The music is gold.
Maurice Tan's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 13:25
Maurice Tan
Too bad you can't do anything with them, even if they want to repay you. And if you move offscreen and go back, they have disappeared. Worst God of War clone ever.
Cheeburga's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 14:00
Cheeburga
Tits!
Radius Zero's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 14:03
Radius Zero
I wonder if the devs put in that "Alright!" thing at the end. lol
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 16:21
Sharpless
I hope that music plays everytime.

Seriously, though, I really want this game. Mindless mayhem and nekkid ladies. Sounds like a perfect "put your brain on cruise control and enjoy the ride" title. And yeah, I played the demo. Twice. Lolz.
vp360's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 17:49
vp360
love the music
The Grudge's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 18:14
The Grudge
This shameless ploy to play on my natural manly horniness is insulting! Oh look big boobies! *Humps screen
LarkOhiya's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 19:48
LarkOhiya
-_- they are just data in a computer. good looking data that many will hump too....but just data.
Gameboi's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 22:24
Gameboi
So I take it that the full game is better than the demo that frustrated me so?
yutt's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/26/2007 10:14
yutt
Those breasts aren't even particularly large...

"...intense disdain for Earth's physics."

Err, no.
youkilledmyguy's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/26/2007 19:45
youkilledmyguy
It's only really about Conan if he goes back through and rapes them all.
foobar's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/26/2007 23:34
foobar
I got the full game the other day and its 10 times better than the demo. You don't get a taste of the boss fights or boobies in the demo.

The one liners after you save the maidens are the greatest.
defected's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/27/2007 21:28
defected
Last time I witness such behavior was back in 99 when the dud-hit Blasto was Released to Playstation.
JRisJunior's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/29/2007 19:55
JRisJunior
that game is gonna be so terrible and so amazing at the same time.

gore, AND boobs? how can we lose?
ikiryou's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/29/2007 20:01
ikiryou
It's clear to see that the developers who animated these ladies were actually more fond of the back than the font. I present to you

Exhibit A

<img src="http://www.geocities.com/necrovelveteyez/conan_devs.jpg">
ikiryou's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/29/2007 20:05
ikiryou
[oops - sorry for the lack of proper BB code

]It's clear to see that the developers who animated these ladies were actually more fond of the back than the font. I present to you

Exhibit A

[img] src="http://www.geocities.com/necrovelveteyez/conan_devs.jpg"[/img]
HideousKojima's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/29/2007 22:19
HideousKojima
Hail,Saint Conan,patron saint of the liberation of strippers!Fun game,the nudity was unnecessary.
Oninusar's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2007 03:32
Oninusar
glowing crotch power 4 teh win!
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