VIDEO.DESTRUCTOID   |   JAPANATOR   |   TOMOPOP
Destructoid is obsessive about gaming news.
Home #Age of Conan



The Internet is built on three principles: the pursuit of profit, the pursuit of humor and above all, the pursuit of naked chicks with awesome racks. With that in mind, I bring you the above footage from the upcoming Xbox 360 title Conan.

What the clip lacks in driving one's enemies before you or the lamentations of their women, it more than makes up for in sheer mammarian volume. While the ladies seem to have an intense disdain for Earth's physics, you can not fault their absolute commitment to their appointed roles: that of naked eye candy useful only for furthering the adolescent stereotype that women are objects only valued for their reproductive bits and the occasional baking session.

While this game might not add any fuel to the "games as art" debate, it certainly puts a sizable dent in virtual suffrage; but as I've always said, what sort of man wants to see women suffer?


Continue reading: More Xbox 360 stories





37 comments | showing # 1 to 37
prev next

mackisawesome's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 09:53
mackisawesome
didn't play in HD
HarassmentPanda's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 09:53
HarassmentPanda
I played in High Def, always do. Haha, I love how the last girl stands up... it seemed so natural. I want to punch the makers of this game in the throat.
BS3 Owner's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 09:54
BS3 Owner
Conan has moved up in priority! LOL!
GuitarAtomik's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 09:54
GuitarAtomik
Nex, you reminded me of that really old Man Show episode where they got a bunch of women to chant "Stop Women's Suffrage!" in the middle of a crowd. Good times.
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 09:55
Samit Sarkar
Awesomesauce.
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 09:57
king3vbo
O wow bewbs
Volcanon's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 09:58
Volcanon
We definitely need more games with virtual TNA. Also, Conan is the shit.
Holyetheline's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 10:02
Holyetheline
I didn't like the demo for this game at all. It's worse then Dragonblade.... I mean, seriously.
nicojay's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 10:05
nicojay
I feel the developers missed a trick. They should give Conan some cheesy Arnie like one liners. If you're gonna silly DO SILLY
DryvBy's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 10:24
DryvBy
Well, I think they're going for the "sex sales" approach because that game demo was horrible. Still, what a pathetic day and age when people want more of virtual bewbs.
ShadowXOR's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 10:28
ShadowXOR
They should be bigger. :)
GuitarAtomik's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 10:30
GuitarAtomik
In their defense though, Conan wouldn't really be Conan without nudity and the exploitation of women.
Kryptinite's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 10:31
Kryptinite
.....what the hell was that?
mad cow's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 10:32
mad cow
Who knew the women of yore had NY accents?
Jetsetlemming's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 10:32
Jetsetlemming
Man, that was some awful voice acting on part of the second chick. Whiny and nasal, nothing at all like you'd expect in a medieval barbarian world's hot babe in need of rescue. :( I want sultry, dammit!
Jetsetlemming's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 10:34
Jetsetlemming
Oh, and tits are great. WE should have more games with them, even if they serve no purpose. We should have more games willing to say dirty words, too. I'm tired of the self-censorship in games. It does nothing but perpetuate stereotypes of the medium.
Zanch's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 10:40
Zanch
It may play like God of War's red-headed stepchild, but it certainly ups the boobie quotient a bit.
Your moms new boyfriend's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 11:06
Your moms new boyfriend
@ Mad Cow

What was once called ancient Cimmeria is now known simply as Long Island.
Yashoki's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 11:53
Yashoki
I WANT THAT SONG
SLiFE's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 12:40
SLiFE
The music is gold.
Professor Pew's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 13:25
Professor Pew
Too bad you can't do anything with them, even if they want to repay you. And if you move offscreen and go back, they have disappeared. Worst God of War clone ever.
Cheeburga's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 14:00
Cheeburga
Tits!
Radius Zero's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 14:03
Radius Zero
I wonder if the devs put in that "Alright!" thing at the end. lol
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 16:21
Sharpless
I hope that music plays everytime.

Seriously, though, I really want this game. Mindless mayhem and nekkid ladies. Sounds like a perfect "put your brain on cruise control and enjoy the ride" title. And yeah, I played the demo. Twice. Lolz.
vp360's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 17:49
vp360
love the music
The Grudge's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 18:14
The Grudge
This shameless ploy to play on my natural manly horniness is insulting! Oh look big boobies! *Humps screen
LarkOhiya's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 19:48
LarkOhiya
-_- they are just data in a computer. good looking data that many will hump too....but just data.
Gameboi's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2007 22:24
Gameboi
So I take it that the full game is better than the demo that frustrated me so?
yutt's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/26/2007 10:14
yutt
Those breasts aren't even particularly large...

"...intense disdain for Earth's physics."

Err, no.
youkilledmyguy's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/26/2007 19:45
youkilledmyguy
It's only really about Conan if he goes back through and rapes them all.
foobar's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/26/2007 23:34
foobar
I got the full game the other day and its 10 times better than the demo. You don't get a taste of the boss fights or boobies in the demo.

The one liners after you save the maidens are the greatest.
defected's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/27/2007 21:28
defected
Last time I witness such behavior was back in 99 when the dud-hit Blasto was Released to Playstation.
Fleet3000's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/29/2007 19:55
Fleet3000
that game is gonna be so terrible and so amazing at the same time.

gore, AND boobs? how can we lose?
ikiryou's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/29/2007 20:01
ikiryou
It's clear to see that the developers who animated these ladies were actually more fond of the back than the font. I present to you

Exhibit A

<img src="http://www.geocities.com/necrovelveteyez/conan_devs.jpg">
ikiryou's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/29/2007 20:05
ikiryou
[oops - sorry for the lack of proper BB code

]It's clear to see that the developers who animated these ladies were actually more fond of the back than the font. I present to you

Exhibit A

[img] src="http://www.geocities.com/necrovelveteyez/conan_devs.jpg"[/img]
HideousKojima's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/29/2007 22:19
HideousKojima
Hail,Saint Conan,patron saint of the liberation of strippers!Fun game,the nudity was unnecessary.
Oninusar's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2007 03:32
Oninusar
glowing crotch power 4 teh win!
prev next

Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

Comments policy

Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?

Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!

 



see all
Dante's Inferno: Trials of St. Lucia DLC
Army of Two: The 40th Day – Chapters of Deceit DLC
Trauma Team: Surgery
Trauma Team: Orthopedics
Trauma Team: Forensics
Trauma Team: First Response
Trauma Team: Endoscopy
Trauma Team: Diagnosis
Lego Harry Potter
Command & Conquer 4: Motion Comic Pt2
Try our new video site: vToid.com





Final Fantasy XIII
by Jim Sterling
Pokemon HeartGold / SoulSilver
Calling
Sonic and Sega All-Stars Racing
God of War III
Mega Man 10
Battlefield: Bad Company 2
Review Recap: February 2010
Toy Soldiers



Cute chaotic robot ninja explody fun with Plain Sight
by Hamza CTZ Aziz
Need for Speed World: Race
A mindbending with Poto & Cabenga
Pocket Creatures
Easy Piano
inXile's Hunted
Resident Evil : Zombie Infection (iPhone)
Star Wars: The Old Republic
Frobot
SOCOM 4




Call for entries

New posts Expand all

New to the c-blogs? Read the survival guide
- The Dtoid Army is 60451 strong -







Counterpoint: God of War III is too long, boring
The joys of being a videogame reviewer
Gather around old man Niero: Destructoid turns four
The most immature thing we've ever done: The Name Game
Get me results: How to solve the JRPG Grind
Only idiots blame the 360 for FF XIII's problems
Four years of Destructoid: A collection of wacky memories






tips@destructoid.com
Nick Chester
Editor-in-Chief
Niero
Founder, El Jefe
Jim Sterling
Reviews Editor
Hamza Aziz
Community Manager
Dale North
News Editor
Rey Gutierrez
Destructoid Video EIC
Anthony Burch
Features Editor
Brad Nicholson
Managing Editor
Tom Fronczak Colette Bennett
Ashley Davis Ben Perlee
Conrad
Zimmerman
Chad Concelmo
Jonathan Holmes Jonathan Ross
Brad Rice Jordan Devore
Joseph Leray Matthew Razak
Josh Tolentino
Samit Sarkar
Hollie Bennett Daniel Lingen
Mikey Turvey
   








 
 
  get involved

register or login
post a blog
post a forum
enter a contest
contribute a news tip
suggest a feature
be a guest editor
support

new member's guide
login assistance
tech support
report abuse
email our editors
read our dev blog
nuclear crisis?
keep in touch

RSS feed
Twitter
Facebook
Myspace
Flickr
Game nights
Meetup+play online
seriously

about Destructoid
advertising
terms of use
privacy policy
jobs at MM
buy our crap
our network

Tomopop
Japanator
Despingation?




Destructoid is an independently-run publication forged by our love of video games and the gaming community's need of accountable enthusiast press
living the dream since March 16, 2006