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The Internet is built on three principles: the pursuit of profit, the pursuit of humor and above all, the pursuit of naked chicks with awesome racks. With that in mind, I bring you the above footage from the upcoming Xbox 360 title Conan.

What the clip lacks in driving one's enemies before you or the lamentations of their women, it more than makes up for in sheer mammarian volume. While the ladies seem to have an intense disdain for Earth's physics, you can not fault their absolute commitment to their appointed roles: that of naked eye candy useful only for furthering the adolescent stereotype that women are objects only valued for their reproductive bits and the occasional baking session.

While this game might not add any fuel to the "games as art" debate, it certainly puts a sizable dent in virtual suffrage; but as I've always said, what sort of man wants to see women suffer?


Continue: More Sex stories





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37 comments | showing # 1 to 37

mackisawesome's Avatar
mackisawesome at 10/25/2007 09:53
didn't play in HD
HarassmentPanda's Avatar
HarassmentPanda at 10/25/2007 09:53
I played in High Def, always do. Haha, I love how the last girl stands up... it seemed so natural. I want to punch the makers of this game in the throat.
BS3 Owner's Avatar
BS3 Owner at 10/25/2007 09:54
Conan has moved up in priority! LOL!
GuitarAtomik's Avatar
GuitarAtomik at 10/25/2007 09:54
Nex, you reminded me of that really old Man Show episode where they got a bunch of women to chant "Stop Women's Suffrage!" in the middle of a crowd. Good times.
Samit Sarkar's Avatar
Samit Sarkar at 10/25/2007 09:55
Awesomesauce.
king3vbo's Avatar
king3vbo at 10/25/2007 09:57
O wow bewbs
Volcanon's Avatar
Volcanon at 10/25/2007 09:58
We definitely need more games with virtual TNA. Also, Conan is the shit.
Holyetheline's Avatar
Holyetheline at 10/25/2007 10:02
I didn't like the demo for this game at all. It's worse then Dragonblade.... I mean, seriously.
nicojay's Avatar
nicojay at 10/25/2007 10:05
I feel the developers missed a trick. They should give Conan some cheesy Arnie like one liners. If you're gonna silly DO SILLY
DryvBy's Avatar
DryvBy at 10/25/2007 10:24
Well, I think they're going for the "sex sales" approach because that game demo was horrible. Still, what a pathetic day and age when people want more of virtual bewbs.
ShadowXOR's Avatar
ShadowXOR at 10/25/2007 10:28
They should be bigger. :)
GuitarAtomik's Avatar
GuitarAtomik at 10/25/2007 10:30
In their defense though, Conan wouldn't really be Conan without nudity and the exploitation of women.
Kryptinite's Avatar
Kryptinite at 10/25/2007 10:31
.....what the hell was that?
mad cow's Avatar
mad cow at 10/25/2007 10:32
Who knew the women of yore had NY accents?
Jetsetlemming's Avatar
Jetsetlemming at 10/25/2007 10:32
Man, that was some awful voice acting on part of the second chick. Whiny and nasal, nothing at all like you'd expect in a medieval barbarian world's hot babe in need of rescue. :( I want sultry, dammit!
Jetsetlemming's Avatar
Jetsetlemming at 10/25/2007 10:34
Oh, and tits are great. WE should have more games with them, even if they serve no purpose. We should have more games willing to say dirty words, too. I'm tired of the self-censorship in games. It does nothing but perpetuate stereotypes of the medium.
Zanch's Avatar
Zanch at 10/25/2007 10:40
It may play like God of War's red-headed stepchild, but it certainly ups the boobie quotient a bit.
Your moms new boyfriend's Avatar
Your moms new boyfriend at 10/25/2007 11:06
@ Mad Cow

What was once called ancient Cimmeria is now known simply as Long Island.
Yashoki's Avatar
Yashoki at 10/25/2007 11:53
I WANT THAT SONG
SLiFE's Avatar
SLiFE at 10/25/2007 12:40
The music is gold.
Professor Pew's Avatar
Professor Pew at 10/25/2007 13:25
Too bad you can't do anything with them, even if they want to repay you. And if you move offscreen and go back, they have disappeared. Worst God of War clone ever.
Cheeburga's Avatar
Cheeburga at 10/25/2007 14:00
Tits!
Radius Zero's Avatar
Radius Zero at 10/25/2007 14:03
I wonder if the devs put in that "Alright!" thing at the end. lol
Sharpless's Avatar
Sharpless at 10/25/2007 16:21
I hope that music plays everytime.

Seriously, though, I really want this game. Mindless mayhem and nekkid ladies. Sounds like a perfect "put your brain on cruise control and enjoy the ride" title. And yeah, I played the demo. Twice. Lolz.
vp360's Avatar
vp360 at 10/25/2007 17:49
love the music
The Grudge's Avatar
The Grudge at 10/25/2007 18:14
This shameless ploy to play on my natural manly horniness is insulting! Oh look big boobies! *Humps screen
LarkOhiya's Avatar
LarkOhiya at 10/25/2007 19:48
-_- they are just data in a computer. good looking data that many will hump too....but just data.
Gameboi's Avatar
Gameboi at 10/25/2007 22:24
So I take it that the full game is better than the demo that frustrated me so?
yutt's Avatar
yutt at 10/26/2007 10:14
Those breasts aren't even particularly large...

"...intense disdain for Earth's physics."

Err, no.
youkilledmyguy's Avatar
youkilledmyguy at 10/26/2007 19:45
It's only really about Conan if he goes back through and rapes them all.
foobar's Avatar
foobar at 10/26/2007 23:34
I got the full game the other day and its 10 times better than the demo. You don't get a taste of the boss fights or boobies in the demo.

The one liners after you save the maidens are the greatest.
defected's Avatar
defected at 10/27/2007 21:28
Last time I witness such behavior was back in 99 when the dud-hit Blasto was Released to Playstation.
Fleet3000's Avatar
Fleet3000 at 10/29/2007 19:55
that game is gonna be so terrible and so amazing at the same time.

gore, AND boobs? how can we lose?
ikiryou's Avatar
ikiryou at 10/29/2007 20:01
It's clear to see that the developers who animated these ladies were actually more fond of the back than the font. I present to you

Exhibit A

<img src="http://www.geocities.com/necrovelveteyez/conan_devs.jpg">
ikiryou's Avatar
ikiryou at 10/29/2007 20:05
[oops - sorry for the lack of proper BB code

]It's clear to see that the developers who animated these ladies were actually more fond of the back than the font. I present to you

Exhibit A

[img] src="http://www.geocities.com/necrovelveteyez/conan_devs.jpg"[/img]
HideousKojima's Avatar
HideousKojima at 10/29/2007 22:19
Hail,Saint Conan,patron saint of the liberation of strippers!Fun game,the nudity was unnecessary.
Oninusar's Avatar
Oninusar at 10/30/2007 03:32
glowing crotch power 4 teh win!
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