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Warning: If you're under 18, live with a domineering mother, or are stuck at work without headphones and don't want to get fired, then bookmark this for later.

Despite amazing gameplay, graphics, and story, one of the most remembered scenes in the first God of War game was the infamous sex minigame. The goal was simple: Make the proclaimed protagonist complete his off-screen climax by hitting the correct sequence of buttons. Well here's another one in God of War 2 that's even better than the first scene.

I won't ruin the surprise, but it's much more wet than the other one. I predict STDs play a vital role in the upcoming sequel, perhaps the Blades of Chaos will be replaced with the Blades of Chlamydia. Play it yourself when God of War 2 comes out on in stores on March 13 for the PlayStation 2.


Continue: More sequel stories





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next 50 comments

57 comments | showing # 1 to 50

Hamza CTZ Aziz's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 21:28
Hamza CTZ Aziz
bow chicka bow wow
FatBologna's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 21:37
FatBologna
That is Fucking Awesome! Funniest shit I've seen all day!
Aetsen's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 21:39
Aetsen
That was hilarious! It made me giggle like a little kid that heard the word "poop".
bigpixels's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 21:40
bigpixels
Kratos has a high red count.
Mrs_Violence's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 21:41
Mrs_Violence
omfg..lmfao! that was hiiiiiiiilarious!
bluexy's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 21:44
bluexy
I'm glad to see the developers have kept their priorities from GoW1 to GoW2.

BOI-OI-OING!
Matthew Mac's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 21:52
Matthew Mac
Those boobs are SOOOOO fake!

But seriously, stuff like this annoys me. I'm not sure I understand the need for other guys to get all horny and worked up while playing as Kratos. I play action games for action, not for some stupid incredibly soft core interactive 'porn.' It has no relevance to gameplay, and isn't funny or entertaining in the least.

But thats just me, and since many people here are horny guys, I guess I'll get flamed. But whatever.
ZekeThePlumber's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 22:03
ZekeThePlumber
Feh, screw sex mini-games. I want a sex boss fight!
zaqu's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 22:06
zaqu
rape medusa
momiji58's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 22:08
momiji58
Praise the gods!!! LOL
glg20decoy's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 22:19
glg20decoy
Bloody Awesome!!!
Zaron's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 22:27
Zaron
Money shot!
Zulmericron_X's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 22:29
Zulmericron_X
Care to go under/over on when little Johnny's parents find him playing a "sex simualtor" and go all JT on Sony?

I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but where does an M rating stop and an AO rating begin? Viewable penetration?
Iron Gamer's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 22:33
Iron Gamer
GOW= God of Women?
splam's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 22:39
splam
I don't get how this can annoy someone, you're not forced to do it.
ZekeThePlumber's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 22:53
ZekeThePlumber
The difference between M and AO is that to get the AO rating you need to search through lines of code to find an exception to the given rating, and then you hire an anal retentive lawyer to do your dirty work thusly giving birth to the both magical and awe-inspiring rating that is Adults Only. Adults Only is a rating that is cleverly spelled out in the most literally way possible and then ingeniously turned into an acronym, doing away with the highly unnecessary "dults nly" so retailers may take the pleasure of explaining to Air-head McSoccermom that it is indeed for mature audiences, despite the fact that she'll buy it so she won't have to listen her precious hell-spawn throw a tantrum over it.

As far as I'm concerned M and AO have no discernible differences. Its all just a ruse to please people who could completely avoid the issue had they just had the neural functions read the box before buying.
Aetsen's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 22:56
Aetsen
I agree Zeke, it's basically like the difference between an R rating and NC-17 rating. If it's AO or NC-17 Wal-Mart won't sell it.
Pepillou2's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 22:58
Pepillou2
Boobies rule.

Only I and Buddha knew that, but we wanted to share the secret.
Pepillou2's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 23:01
Pepillou2
Sorry, sorry...
--Buddha and I--
My bad.
FatBologna's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 23:17
FatBologna
Matthew Mac and Zulmericron_X,

This doesn't really seem all that exploitative for what it is. It's some boobs and then it pans away to the most generic use for a peeing cherub (see the masterpiece that is Austin Powers or any other dumbass "comedy"). I don't think any mature adult male is gonna rub one off to this amateurish level of "Tittilation"(well...mature has to mean a LOT in this case).

Beyond that, you guys are the types that the ESRB or MPAA hire to voice their opinions of "right" and "wrong" and whether it's suitable for my or anyone else's consumption. 17+ is on the box, and any 17 year old who can't handle some pixeltits needs to take a fuckin' sex ed course and grow the fuck up!
FatBologna's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 23:18
FatBologna
NEO!! HOW DARE YOU!!...you've bested my avatar...I concede defeat...
UnknownHeadFeelings's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 23:25
UnknownHeadFeelings
Damn right Zeke. This is why I'm glad I never worked game retail. People don't take responsibility for their actions and stupid decisions, and the M/AO rating difference is close to pointless. I still can't believe a mod like "Hot Coffee" was able to get a game reclassified as AO.

And splam said it perfectly. If you don't like it, don't play it. If you like the action, but can do without the sex, just avoid the sex.

Now, if only there were laws that said if you chose to watch it, or chose not to research the content, then someone smart enough should keep them from talking to crazies like Jack T or must outraged parents' groups.
FoD's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 23:27Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting</a>
FoD
GAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!! That was great!
FoD's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 23:29Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting</a>
FoD
I can't believe I just saw that! HAHA!
synce's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 23:37
synce
Tasteless
fromagex's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 23:38
fromagex
ugh. whats gonna be the point of playing this game if we keep getting videos!! growl. im not watching.
ZekeThePlumber's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2007 23:56
ZekeThePlumber
Ha, the first thing I thought of when I saw FatBologna's avatar was HamVagina and his avatar. I feel so dirty...
Milofo's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2007 01:22
Milofo
I think that if someone really wanted to look at porn, the internet is a lot easier place to find it then in a game. Yet I doubt anyone will try banning the internet. The only thing missing from the video is porn music playing in the background.
ManSpirit's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2007 01:31
ManSpirit
There's nothing more pathetic and nerdier than pixel pussy.
Hannah's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2007 02:18
Hannah
Needs more breast physics. Even a little jiggle here and there would be nice... those boobs look like they've solidified or something.
bleep's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2007 03:13
bleep
I can't wait for those Dildonics!
Lanae's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2007 03:17
Lanae
I don't think guys play this game to see digital boobies. There's other games for that! Plus you don't even get to take their clothes off! I think its amusing, eh.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2007 07:22
Mxyzptlk
So Kratos lasts a whole 30 seconds? Way to go stud. The ladies didn't seem too disappointed though. Of course, if I were getting banged by a sociopath known for killing women and children indiscriminately, I'd probably fake an O too.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2007 08:17
Mxyzptlk
@brandan:

Close, he's a DC character (one of Superman's villians) named Mr. Mxyzptlk. Since people ask me about three times a week, you pronounce it "Miks-yez-pit-lik". Basically he's a sorcerer from another dimension that happens to be a complete dick.

Don't know the source of the original artwork (I know it's not the original DC trading card series, since I have a complete set of that), but it's a slightly cropped version of this:



Fun Fact nobody but me cares about: Mxyzptlk has been portrayed by Frank Welker and Gilbert Gottfried in animated form, and Michael J. Pollard, Howie Mandel, and Trent Ford in live-action.
Zulmericron_X's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2007 08:50
Zulmericron_X
Oh, I don't want anyone to get me wrong, I was just provoking discussion on AO and M.

I love tits just as much as anyone else and am psyched to see that gamers can finally receive content that matches their age. I say kudos to GoW for even doing it. So please, don't mistake me for an ESRB troll or a religious right nut job.

I'm all games...
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2007 08:55
Snaileb
Howie Mandel as another dimensional wizard? Sold!!
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2007 09:02
Samit Sarkar
Can this game get any more awesome?
FatBologna's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2007 09:54
FatBologna
THEN IT'S AGREED!! WE ALL LOVE BOOOOBBBIIIIIIEEEESSSSSAH!!
Zulmericron_X's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2007 10:40
Zulmericron_X
Awesome FatBologna. You sounded just like my old college roommate on a bender.
Zulmericron_X's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2007 10:41
Zulmericron_X
But one thing... does this mean that we have to hear David Jaffe masturbate over himself yet again? We get it Dave... you're a visionary.
Robert's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2007 13:28
Robert
It's awesome just because the concept. Not that we're all horny teens, but right after you rip skeletons apart, cleave some guys, impale a hydra's face on a ship, kill an innocent sailor, and then declare your quest against the God of War, you top it all off by porking some random hos. If that's not manly and awesome, I don't know what is.
Grimgnar's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2007 14:18
Grimgnar
Amen, Robert. Amen. All thats left to do is shotgun a 30 case of Ice House, and smoke a whole pack of cigarettes at once, while eating an entire raw cow.
PITT sauce's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2007 15:42
PITT sauce
I didn't watch the video, but I can imagine how great it is.
Azrael's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2007 16:03
Azrael
Thats olympus official dress code ladies, sorry:

http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=146

boobs hehe.
wario67's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2007 17:50
wario67
this looks ethier early on the game or late in the game
.... ^_^
Vorin's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2007 23:27
Vorin
Boobs, nuff said
teknohed's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/24/2007 22:59
teknohed
Rock hard breast implant style boobs...in ancient greece...o'rly? I wonder who the godess of silicon was?
Amerz0511's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2007 17:14
Amerz0511
ha, who knows tecknohed. But i'm sure he was pretty fricken popular among the greek guys.
ridley80's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/20/2007 20:00
ridley80
hahaha *honk!*
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