Nothing Is Sacred: Zombies have feelings too.

7:40 PM on 10.08.2009   |   Necro BABS

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Zombies having feelings, but I figure none of you reading would known this. Why? Because we are all too busy having a boner over various things. For example, have you ever sat down and actually wondered why we are killing these helpless Zombies? (Or if you follow the British way, you might prefer the term “The Infected, since it would be wrong to use the “Z word”).

My earliest memory of defiling the corpses of the recently departed was in Zombies Ate My Neighbors. Did anyone stop to think why they were only supposedly “eating” your neighbors. If memory serves me, they were just hiding in supermarkets or in houses. How could you even try to defend killing those innocent Zombies/Undead when there were werewolves, sea monsters, and giant babies prancing around through the level? THOSE are the real culprits.

At least, since most American Zombies (before the British Invasion) were slow moving sacks of meat, they meant you no harm. We figured since Zombies/Undead have no higher brain functions, that it is OK by other people to kill them. The myth of them trying to eat brains, I believe, is just wrong. Humanity is only really concerned with whether there is a pulse, and only when that is established can we then care for the not-yet-dead corpse/person. But once that clicker stops, we are only too happy to give it the old buckshot to the head.

Resident Evil is a franchise that has slowing milked “to death” the extermination of Zombies. Yet, they refuse to admit this, and are going strong on the campaign of “We are not Zombies.” To explain this, let me give you a little background on the “We are not Zombies” history. Back a couple of years ago; a small British Invasion happened by way of 28 Days Later, an event that introduced Zombies as “Infected Beings”.

Now, as a person that feels that Zombie rights have not been protected, I view that these “Infected Beings” are just more fuel for the anti-Zombie/Undead fire. When Resident Evil first came out, they employed the dead, using them as vessels for their evil deeds. Through many interactions and adventures later, the dead have seen hard times. When the British invasion hit North America, American Zombies/Undead became victims of discrimination. They were discarded like yesterdays’ trash, in favor of the faster moving British models.

Even Resident Evil, a Japanese based game, was guilty of favoritism towards this new breed of Zombies/Undead. In the later games, the “Infected” were thrown away, for a new trendy “Las Plagas” scene. From my extensive research, I have come to the conclusion that Umbrella, the evil corporation in Resident Evil, used a virus to turn people into Zombies/Undead. So what is our natural reaction to this? Do we try to solve the virus so that we can let them rest? Nope, we have come up with a more direct approach to the problem.

Can we ever see the Zombie/Undead as “pictures in someone’s wallet?” Or will they forever be the force of nature that is massively misunderstood? I fear that we will continue to abuse the dead for our sick and sad enjoyment. Left 4 Dead is continuing that tradition in ways that I would never fathom. We enjoy this entertainment so much; we even made an “Achievement” for abusing one type of Zombie/Undead. I do not know her name, but I know she is skinny and has long hair. You can hear her crying, most likely due to the loss of a loved one. Do we console her? Do we try to sit down and brush her hair behind her ear and ask her what is wrong? Nope, we “double tap” a shotgun to the crown of her head. Poor woman, I fear she will never be heard the way she wants to. What about Nazi Zombies/Undead? Should there even be an attempt to help them? Granted they did evil things in life, but maybe they have repented in the afterlife and do not deserve a flamethrower to the face.


Is there a solution to the problem? Look at the picture above, a simple future of Zombies/Undead planting flowers that will one day do marvelous things for the environment. Granted, the Zombie/Undead has the can on his head, but this is rather stylish, don’t you think? This is the way to understand Zombies/Undead, not just by simply killing them and god forbid the dreaded “Tea-bag” happens. We must make efforts to stop the senseless Zombies/The Undead killings. We will be a better community for it. I mean, hell we can always go back to killing Nazis right? I leave you with this image of a Zombie/Undead enjoying a nice ray of sunshine.