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Not-Review: Metro 2033

6:00 PM on 03.21.2010   |   Anthony Burch

Not-Review: Metro 2033 photo

I'm not going to review Metro 2033. I haven't made it past the third chapter of the game, and I doubt I'll ever make it any further.

It's not that Metro 2033 is irredeemably awful, or anything. It's got some good points, which I'll get into after the jump. But there was a moment when I was playing -- a sudden, awful, awe-inspiring moment -- when I realized I would no longer be able to tolerate the game any longer, and would be incapable of writing a proper review.

You can hit the jump for my incomplete thoughts on the game, but don't go looking for a numerical score. You won't find one.

Metro 2033 (PC, Xbox 360 reviewed)
Developer: 4A Games
Publisher: THQ
Released: March 16, 2010
MSRP: $59.99

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First of all, Metro 2033 is damned immersive. Every section of the game that doesn't involve blasting mutants or bandits is filled with life and detail. Each of the non-combat segments that occasionally break up the action take place in believable, meticulously designed shantytowns full of surprisingly talkative survivors. You could easily spend an hour just sitting around, listening to the survivors talking about their lives (or what's left of them), without even worrying about the main plot or the missions. STALKER tried to draw players into its world with its nonlinear gameplay and huge world map. Metro 2033, conversely, tries to pack as many varied and scripted bits of story and dialogue into its linear campaign as humanly possible.

Then again, I have to apologize for comparing STALKER and Metro 2033. Yeah, both games are about Russian dudes surviving after a nuclear meltdown, but mechanically they couldn't be more dissimilar. Where STALKER was a nonlinear sandbox shooter, Metro 2033 is a linear FPS with some very, very light RPG elements. 

Still, both games touch on a much beloved theme of postapocalyptic fiction: the hero's need to survive on disturbingly limited resources. In Metro 2033, you've only got one form of currency: bullets. You can trade high-quality ammo for items and upgraded weapons, which, in theory, could lead to some really interesting dilemmas. Given how rare these bullets are, should I hang onto them and keep my shitty starting weapons, or just splurge now and pray that I'll find more later on? Since these high-quality bullets do way more damage than normal ones, should I consider actually firing them at some of the tougher enemies, even if it means I'll basically be firing away all of my cash reserves?

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Maybe the currency system results in some really difficult, tense, game-changing decisions later on. I don't know, and I never will.

I loved the atmopshere and the currency system but, as I mentioned before the jump, there was one moment in the game when I realized that I would never, ever be able to bring myself to play it for another second. Let me set the scene.

It's dark, and my flashlight is off. The game has told me that enemies can't see me in the dark so long as they're not looking at me, so I decide to sneak up on a bandit. He's a scout, and I can see his bandit friends behind him. I'm gonna shoot him in the back of the head with a shotgun, which will alert his friends, but hey -- at least he'll be dead, and then I can think about flanking them and opening up with my inaccurate SMG from close-range.

I sneaked up. Pointed my gun at his head. Fired four times, from point-blank range.

He turned around and killed me in three shots.

I have no essential problem with really difficult games. Really, I don't. So long as the game is giving me something compelling in exchange for my trouble, so long as I'm gaining a greater understanding of a game's mechanics through my constant failure and loss, then I'll do whatever it takes to rise to the challenge.

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I can't, however, abide a combat system that not only gives you really inaccurate, guns with very little ammo (seemingly encouraging you to focus on flanking maneuvers and close-range combat), then makes those guns so weak that four point-blank shotgun shells to the face won't bring down a random grunt.

Really, what does Metro 2033 want me to do? I honestly don't know. Was I meant to use my knife on a bad guy and treat the entire rest of the game as if it were Splinter Cell? Was I supposed to get into cover, and then shoot him in the head five times, and then try to whittle away his opponents? How would I even do that, with such limited ammo and such inaccurate guns? Was I supposed to blast away at my enemies from a distance, simply praying that I might score a headshot or two? Was I supposed to try and sneak up and take the bad guys out from close range, even though every individual enemy takes and deals more damage than I do? Seriously, what the fuck was I supposed to do?

There's a right way to play Metro 2033, presumably, but I honestly have no idea what it is. Other reviewers seem to have found a way to enjoy the game, but I'm at a loss. I want to like Metro 2033, and I want to understand how I'm supposed to play it, but I can't.

I just can't.

 

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228 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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El Edito's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:05
El Edito
Interesting, i'd heard that the guns were off from what others have told me but this basically confirms a non purchase for me.

If there is one thing I want my in game shotgun to do then its to take people down in one blast from close range. That's what the shotgun is for, no?
Kraid's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:05
Kraid
What was the last game anyone on Destructoid wasn't able to finish?

Do you remember Rev?!

It kinda revolves around the same thing I heard before for this game. I'm gonna have to wait for a price drop unfortunately in order to give this a spin.
sadiztic's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:07
sadiztic
yeah iv'e heard similar things from from other people. The atmosphere and story is great but the gameplay is seriously lacking. I might just buy the book instead of playing the game.
matrixdude171's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:07
matrixdude171
Sounds like it needed a bit more in house testing.
Solidus187's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:07
Solidus187
Pretty interesting, I wonder what the big-name websites/magazines will give the game.
danthuman's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:09
danthuman
man, i don't wanna sound like a dick or anything...but isnt it your job to play through shitty games? You guys talk alot about having to play through really crappy games.. and this time you give up. I mean what if it has a redeeming factor later? I hear there's a big plot twist in the end of the book...might be in the game.
Klarden's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:11
Klarden
stalker has ukrainian guys, metro russian guys. thanks for noticing the difference
both games mad by ukrainian dev's anyway
and yes, it's damn impressive, very atmospheric and then it has ridiculous moments like this which kill the mood
it has beautiful narration (russian text is better, btw) but the cutscenes often feel unfinished and end more abruptly then they should
still, best thing after Cryostasis from ukraine, imo
CorpseGrinder's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:12
CorpseGrinder
Fuck shotguns. They suck in this game. I love the game so far aside from the shotgun problem.
Dinin Vorta's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:12
Dinin Vorta
Hey at least you were honest Rev. I'm intending to pick this up post-dissertations. No doubt, as with the STALKER games, I'll swear and hurl abuse at the game until I'm hoarse. But I've been really excited about this for some time, so I'm gonna give it my best.

However far that will take me.
Leaderz0rz's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:17
Leaderz0rz
@danthuman

they are not the AVGN =p His job is to review games, and in this review he is unable to complete due to the broken gameplay mechanic to him. That's the review. To him and other people that is enough to warrant not completing the game. To others they might see that as a small inconvenience. Personally I feel the immersion and atmosphere make up for the lacking polish on the gunplay, it seems we always have to make a trade off somewhere.
Gyrael's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:17
Gyrael
I can't stand that shit in 'realistic' games like these.
hpv's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:19
hpv
Destructoid's review credibility falls even further. I can't remember the last time I read a review on Destructoid that wasn't either someone "reviewing" a game while claiming it wasn't a "review" because they couldn't finish it or a sloppy, rushed "review" that demonstrated that the "reviewer" had barely even played the game and/or managed to miss the entire point of the game both mechanically and narratively.

Seriously, find yourselves some professionalism or someone needs to find himself some new reviewers. The editorial and review content on this site is now as big a joke as the grammar and spelling on Kotaku. Pathetic.
GamesAreArt's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:20
GamesAreArt
"What was the last game anyone on Destructoid wasn't able to finish?

Do you remember Rev?!

It kinda revolves around the same thing I heard before for this game. I'm gonna have to wait for a price drop unfortunately in order to give this a spin."

Was it demon souls? Thats the only one in recent memory.
Revariance's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:21
Revariance
Thanks for taking the high road and not slapping a score on a game you didn't finish.

I appreciate your honesty, really.
Shelley Olson's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:21
Shelley Olson
this game has bad hit detection sometimes...that was probably why 4 shots to the face did not do anything..I have been there and done that myself. Forcing myself to finish this game but it is painful
PieInTheSky's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:23
PieInTheSky
Seems odd to just stop after one incident, maybe it was just a glitch or something? Anyway i'm not the one who's Anthony Burch am I now?
Kraid's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:23
Kraid
@GamesAreArt: Might be... I also meant that people didn't gave score for a game due to the non completion. Thought I cleared that up.
Mechman's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:25
Mechman
Did you try the revolver? It's one-hit kill to the head, and pretty accurate, and it's a starting weapon. It's what I used for most of the game.
HiddenAHB's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:27
HiddenAHB
The only game i remember that they didn't finished was Demon Souls, and that was justified.

Well, haters will hate.
Sentry's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:27
Sentry
(This entire comment presumes a lot about Mr. Burch. Apologies if incorrect.)

Danthuman - The Rev has a very real problem with games implying (and sometimes flat-out TELLING) you that there's a specific way to play the game, and then saying "fuck you" for doing so. Honestly, is it so unreasonable that some individuals might not want to continue to play something where the advised/recommended/instructed/intuited mechanics and the ACTUAL mechanics of the gameplay have no relationship to one another?

The guy basically took a step back and said he couldn't, in good conscience, review a game that executes one of his biggest, personal faux-pas. Do you really want somebody reviewing something that they have something like a personal bias against, hpv? Isn't that worse than simply not-reviewing it, or handing it off to somebody else?
Spivey's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:28
Spivey
Congratulations, Rev. You found something called a "bug." Games have these. Normal people accept that and retry when they find one.

Journalisms!
Azzurus's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:31
Azzurus
@hpv

Then why keep reading them? Nobody is forcing you to do so. If you're just going to read an article, have bad expectations, then come out of it with the same bad attitude, why do you hang around here?
Skab's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:31
Skab
Learn to throw knifes. Yes fuck the ammo. Play on hardcore. Use knifes Stop being a baby. Learn to run get immersed in that shit. Think about all those farcry 2 permdeath plays. Same thing here. Sometimes you gotta avoid fighting all together. blow out lamps hide like a little girl. The ammo from the bodies isn't worth what you waist killing half the people in the game.
Gestault's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:33
Gestault
@ hpv:

I think there's something someone needs to clear up for you. Entertainment reviews are not hard-edged reporting. They are not frontline investigative reporting. In many ways, they are not the "journalism" you seem to be expecting from them. They are ideally a fair, well stated opinion on a game, with emphasis on having a broad perspective with playing games. It's perspective.

If anything, what we have here is more useful than many "full" formal reviews. I fail to see how this is "mounting evidence" of Destructoid's failings as a Journalisms. See what I did there?
kylamity's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:36
kylamity
The currency and ammo issues killed this game for me.
watermanx's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:38
watermanx
seriously. why is everyone crying about not having a review. if you have nothing better to do than wait for a review, go play the game and find out for your self.
idiots.
jazzpanda's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:38
jazzpanda
Anthony, I agree and i think that the shooting mechanics and visual feedback that you are damaging enemies, suck.

There's some points you're missing though.. First- The game does show you that throwing knives are a one hit stealth kill from a distance when your ally kills one with it just before that section. That's no excuse for bad design, just sayin.. also- it does seem to work so far on all creatures.

Second- The game doesn't seem to register headshots as much better than bodyshots and going for the head obviously has more risk of inaccuracy. again bad game design but i'm just sayin..

It's VERY fucking flawed but so far it's also got some cool things going for it so i'm sticking with it for now..
Skab's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:39
Skab
Also oops on my shitty wording on waist, instead of waste. Just finish the game. Think that part is bad, wait till you (never) meet the Librarians. That made me almost unistall this game. Then finding out everything i did previously affected the endings fucked me up to having the play it all over again. But yes not being able to kill one person without I dunno, turning down the difficulty settings, or switching weapons is a justified reason to not finish a game and play some more Splunky.
Gatsby's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:40
Gatsby
this game should have at least gotten a review score/10
Naktu's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:40
Naktu
@hpv

I understand you're likely a troll and all, but on the off chance you aren't, I'm sure destructoid enjoys your patronage and page hits for revenue.
Daxelman's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:40
Daxelman
Rev isn't the reviews guy, he's the Features guy.

Jim just gave him the review because apparently he couldn't hope to even play the damn thing any further than he got.
HoodedMiracle's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:44
HoodedMiracle
Shoulda thrown an Ekans at 'im.

Seriously, though, it says a lot more when someone can't review a game than finish it and give it a score. No score could be considered as bad as no score at all.

Not saying not reviewing it is bad. It was definitely a good decision on your part. It just tells me that this game might need a few patches before I get ahold of it.
psycho terror2's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:44
psycho terror2
i've heard many people making excuses for themselves over this game.

i don't find the guns inaccurate at all, and i had no trouble headshotting those beast things or the non armoured bandits. the guys with helmets will only be instant killed by a shot to the face or neck, if you aim for the helmet, you'll hit the helmet and won't do any damage until you've knocked it off. i admit some of the human enemies take a little too much punishment, but not until much further into the game.
Misfit110's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:46
Misfit110
I'm not sure what to tell you. I just finished this game on the PC and thought it was amazing. I don't know if its a difference between the x-box and PC but I rarely had trouble killing stuff and never on the human opponents.

If you are on the fence about this game because of this review, don't be. The game was some damn fine single player if you ask me.
Syn's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:47
Syn
Yeah, I never intended to touch this game, or look at it really. But a friend of mine was considering it. I'll inform him of this; there's no excuse for a shotgun doing nothing when you're about to execute a guy. That's not even an acceptable glitch. I'd rather the game occasionally freeze (Fallout, ME2)

But I would totally prefer glorious polish (FFXIII, haven't even heard or seen a shadow of a hint of a glitch there).
Shadowiii's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:47
Shadowiii
@Kraid

Pretty sure it was Jim with Velvet Assassin. He just hated it so much he couldn't go on.
Good not-review, I enjoyed the read=up. I've had my eye on this for some time, but I think I'll rent it or borrow it from a friend before making the jump.
Skab's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:49
Skab
Your money or your life I think is what the whole ammo money thing is. I never bought a single gun, just meds, and knifes. Guns and ammo came off the bodies, but since I stole all the ammo from people in the towns I got the bad ending...Don't you GET IT REV?!
Ffordesoon's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:51
Ffordesoon
Hmm, that's weird. I shot those dudes once with the shotgun, and they died.

I shot dudes in the head with the machine gun, too. And they fell down and died. There was a dude with a plastic-looking mask who didn't die when I shot him, but I assumed it was because his mask was supposed to protect him.

What difficulty are you playing it on, Rev? Because I'm playing it on Normal, and I haven't run into any trouble at all.
Ffordesoon's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:54
Ffordesoon
And yes, I do realize that a plastic hockey mask cannot deflect a fucking bullet. I'm simply using the game's logic.
ndschroede23's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:54
ndschroede23
@watermanx

I think you're missing the idea of a review. I'm not going to spend $60 on a game if it's not going to give me my money's worth.
Sexualchocolate's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:55
Sexualchocolate
Pretty sure Jim tweeted about having trouble with this game and not reviewing it.

Seems like a bit of a let down.

Hit detection, poor weapon stats, forced throwing knives, whatever, neither Jim nor Rev could get through enough to review it, not a good sign.

Was kinda bummed this wasn't coming to ps3, but now don't care.

Sweet.
Super Drybones's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:56
Super Drybones
You're doing it wrong fellow reverend, he's a ball chinian, you have to aim for the penis area.
Droop's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:57
Droop
Gotta agree with you.. It's really too bad that so many eastern-european games have the setting and story down, but then fail to make decent gameplay..
Perfidious Sinn's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 18:58
Perfidious Sinn
So, who's gonna do the real review?
Drakengard's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 19:02
Drakengard
This game sounds like a game for PC, where modding can at least potentially fix some of this.

That said, I do wish you'd finish the review as it does feel a tad bit...weak. Jim just reviewed a game in which he pretty much said the gameplay was a joke. I think you could at least trudge through this on the lowest difficulty at least. Even if you don't want to put a score on it then, at the very least do so to provide a longer more accurate article and impression on the game. That's the important part, not the score.
RedWinters's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 19:02
RedWinters
Just wait for a realisim patch abey, then again that wouldnt be juging the game by its own merits.
DaShiz 21's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 19:02
DaShiz 21
I love this game. It has glitches obviously and its pathetic that the reviewer stopped after one. The atmosphere is great and yes the combat can be annoying but it is still a very good game. I strongly encourage anyone who enjoyed any of the Stalker games to give it at least a rent.
Anthony Burch's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 19:05
Anthony Burch
hpv:
And yet you keep reading, and commenting, and bitching, and reading, and commenting, and bitching, and reading...
grafkhun's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 19:06
grafkhun
So you just give up? I mean, it's made from some people from GSC world, the STALKER guys, of course things like that are going to happen. STALKER 1 was a total mess, but it was still playable. Metro 2033 doens't seem to be nearly as bad as any STALKER game at release. There'll be fixes and I think you should give it another shot one all the polish is applied.
watermanx's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 19:06
watermanx
@ndschroede23
lucky for you, there are three options for you to choose, lf you want to buy the game or not.
1) uses this half review to decide. 2) look at other website reviews.
3) rent it.
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