Who can forget Nintendo's cringeworthy performance at E3 last year? In between Cammie's embarrassing jokes, Reggie loving that throttle, Ravi Drums doing his best Michael J Fox impression and the cacophonous mess that was the Wii Music demonstration, it left a sour taste. Reggie Fils-Aime has today gotten to the meat of the matter, and hopes that we'll see a more savory performance this year.
"From Nintendo's perspective, we always go into E3 with a very high bar wanting to satisfy not only the core fans but also ourselves," explains the minestrone maestro. "We're hoping to do a much better job this year. You'll have to see for yourself."
We're a bit worried that Reggie aims to satisfy himself at E3 this year, as I can only envisage him having a luxurious wank on stage in front of the silent, grimacing press, naked and rubbing his chest with his one free hand, sometimes massaging his perineum and grunting loudly the whole time, edging grimly closer to a braying orgasm while Cammie says, "You really love that throttle, Reggie," and begins to wipe up his knob nectar with crisp dollar bills.
Oh, and Spirt Tracks might get a release date at the show.
Jim Sterling serves as reviews editor for Destructoid.com, head of the Podtoid podcast, and produces a number of news stories, original features, one-of-a-kind videos. With his passionate argumentative style, controversial opinions, harsh delivery, and dedication to brutal honesty Sterling is a name that you can't help but recognize.
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Contest:
12:20 PM on 04.14.2009
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I'm not sure whether I should lol or shoot myself.
I lol'd.
Also, journalism.
That said...after last year's debacle, they can only go up. Right?
Right?
And the Michael J Fox joke, way too mean ;_; .
"As if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror..."
"or were hiring supermodels to provide free blow jobs for every gamer in the world or whatever"
If the delivered on that promise, they just may be able to turn things around.
yeah, can't say this is gunna be good... I don't think we can hope for anything better then either Wii Dancing or Drawing. Heck, might as well combine them, you'll do the exact same thing to win by not actually accomplishing anything.
BWAHAHAHA, I can't even type that without laughing.
Phonetically, I think this might be my favorite Freudian slip of all time given the paragraph that leads into it.
thank goodness it didn't...but you failed to mention testicular cancer.