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Home Utterly pathetic updates

Nintendo DS = Poison drug? Stupid mother seems to think so

11:39 AM on 05.05.2008, Jim Sterling 46 comments

Nintendo DS = Poison drug? Stupid mother seems to think so photo
     Utterly pathetic

Proving that irresponsible parents will find anything to blame on their children being nasty little thugs, a mother has written to dishrag "newspaper" The Daily Mail to blame the Nintendo DS, of all consoles, for the corruption of her innocent little darlings. While The Guardian embraces gaming as a new cultural mainstream, The Daily Mail is still clinging pathetically to the past with "stories" like this.

"I finally buckled to buy a Nintendo DS Lite after considerable and sustained pressure from my children," states mother of four Rosie Millard. "What finally did it was a suggestion from my oldest child that without a Nintendo in her school bag, she would be unable to fit in at school. (Yes, I know - oldest trick in the book. And I fell for it) ... I also had a sneaking and totally selfish wish to be Mother of the Year. Which I was, for about a day."

After the DS arrived however, Rosie noted how the toy caused "endless rows, sessions of screaming and increasingly regular parental punishment." Because, of course, buying one Nintendo DS for FOUR children was always going to be a good idea, right?

Our Nintendo had taken the guise of a small but toxic drug which, little by little, was poisoning my children.

When they had had their fix, they were even more frustrated and discontented than before.  

... I have first-hand evidence that using a Nintendo turns my delightful, curious and funny children into argumentative demons full of aggression, wholly uninterested in anything apart from playing, and then playing some more.

According to Millard, who already admits she buckles under pressure from her kids because she wants them to think she's awesome, the DS is the sole reason why her spawn would be selfish little pricks who can't share -- nothing to do with the fact that they're, y'know, children, and children tend to be selfish little pricks by nature. You buy a cool toy for four kids to share, and this is what is going to happen. It's not because the DS is a "toxic drug," it's because children don't understand common decency.

Anyway, now that Millard has donated the DS and its games to charity, I am sure her children will never do a bad thing, ever again, ever ever. Hyuck.


Next page: More DS stories




king3vbo's Avatar
king3vbo at 05/05/2008 11:44
One DS for 4 kids? That doesnt work too well. My 2 brothers and I had a hard time taking turns on the SNES
Comrade Snarky's Avatar
Comrade Snarky at 05/05/2008 12:01
"Our Nintendo had taken the guise of a small but toxic drug which, little by little, was poisoning my children."


Maybe it's me, but it seems poor strategy for a Nintendo DS to take the guise of a "toxic drug." Unless, of course, Nintendo's goal is to trick suicidal people or apprehended spies under interrogation into playing Nintendogs instead of offing themselves.

Now, a toxic drug taking the guise of a Nintendo DS...that might be an issue...
that1dood's Avatar
that1dood at 05/05/2008 12:07
Having one DS for 4 kids is just asking for trouble. But I really have to question how bad their behavior actually got. If it's just arguing amongst the kids, uh, that's just gonna happen. She has FOUR kids, what the hell does she expect? They're all gonna be perfect angels that are play quietly in the back room and give her the occasional back rub? Wake up, lady! Welcome to parenthood.

Also, get a DS for 3 of them and then give the youngest one a PSP, then see what happens. Mwahahaha.
MechaMonkey's Avatar
MechaMonkey at 05/05/2008 12:07
When my three siblings and I have 4 controllers for the same game we have trouble sharing. I can't imagine trying to spread one DS between four kids.
Velt's Avatar
Velt at 05/05/2008 12:12
"I have first-hand evidence that using a Nintendo turns my delightful, curious and funny children into argumentative demons full of aggression, wholly uninterested in anything apart from playing, and then playing some more."

Someone please post a face slap.
evyrew's Avatar
evyrew at 05/05/2008 12:12
There are several things wrong with her approach...
She bought ONE handheld for 4 children. Of course their going to fight over it. Handhelds are a singular experience Why not buy a console instead? Two of her children are too young to be playing games anyway. My 4 yr old nephew goes ballistic every time he isn't allowed to play. I generally turn off the console whenever he comes over.

She bought 20 games... holy crap, if my parents bought that many games for me at once when I was young... I would have never seen the light of day. She didn't impose time limits...
Surf314's Avatar
Surf314 at 05/05/2008 12:14
Well my personal experience being observant is that when you shield a kid from something and then suddenly give it to them, they tend to binge on it. And the parent is generally unprepared to teach the kid limits. My parents imposed limits on me growing up, and as much as I hated it I think it was a good idea.
Corak's Avatar
Corak at 05/05/2008 12:15
Wow 1 DS for 4 kids huh? What the hell did she expect to happen? Something out of the Vontrap family? You know singing and dancing, and general happiness towards everyone and everything, tra la la la la.

Not going to happen lady, little kids will always compete over something they all have to share. Just like the animal kingdom, where cubs will fight over their mothers milk and to establish dominance. Its the same in this instance, accept it and set limits or make a schedule for your kids to follow. When their time is up thats it, as long as they know it ahead of time and you don't just rip it from their hands they should hopefully understand.
lowercaseluke's Avatar
lowercaseluke at 05/05/2008 12:15
I can stop any time I want.
Corak's Avatar
Corak at 05/05/2008 12:18
"Someone please post a face slap"
Just for you velt.

GuitarAtomik's Avatar
GuitarAtomik at 05/05/2008 12:28
This lady needs a little Common Sense 101. Seriously.
Horatio Caine's Avatar
Horatio Caine at 05/05/2008 12:29
I can't wait chop up white lines on my white DS. The effect of both could even be more toxic.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 05/05/2008 12:30
I keep a DS with me just in case I'm shot down over Soviet airspace on one of my spy missions.
Dr Spaceman's Avatar
Dr Spaceman at 05/05/2008 12:34
Who is the world gives "toxic drugs" to a charity. That is f'd up. She needs a few mushroom brusies...anyone with me?
MaxVest's Avatar
MaxVest at 05/05/2008 12:37
I'm glad the mom basically admitted to buying pirated games from Hong Kong.

£150 for a £100 console and a 20 game "bundle" (author's quotes) including Nintendogs and Brain Training? Suuuuure.
NihonTiger90's Avatar
NihonTiger90 at 05/05/2008 12:42
I guess Heroin Hero for the DS was a bad idea after all.
Bizznet's Avatar
Bizznet at 05/05/2008 12:43
My brothers and I fought over Goosebumps novels. Oh, and marbles, POGs, and video games too. Maybe we were afflicted with a similar drug as her offspring. Or maybe we were just kids, and that's what kids do.
Scammeleon's Avatar
Scammeleon at 05/05/2008 13:38
@ Comrade Snarky: "Now, a toxic drug taking the guise of a Nintendo DS...that might be an issue..."
Lol, damn good point you've got there, mate.

Here's a comment I tried to leave on the site;

"You're completely right of course. I've been playing "nintendo" since I was about 5 (well, that was an Atari, but as we seem to be unable to distinguish game development companies I'll roll with it), and to this day, as a twenty year old university student I just can't help being an "argumentative demon full of aggression". Not a week goes buy that I don't kick a homeless person down to the ground, before stealing his copies of the Big Issue and burning them as a testiment to all that we hardworking uppper class people work to achieve. I blame all that I have become on videogames, my brother and myself have the worst sibling relationship that I have ever known, and our heart-to-hearts often degenerate into nothing more than intoxicating ourselves in primitive conflicts over our Nintendo. I'm with you, Mrs Millard, if your children don't know to share, then they shouldn't be given things to share or learn to share with!"

Lets see if they publish it!
(I would post a link to the original story, but I'm with Sterling on refusing to link to that ball of ignorance that is the maily dail)
naia-the-gamer's Avatar
naia-the-gamer at 05/05/2008 14:17
What's wrong with this picture?

1) 1 DS for 4 kids = FAIL

2) Two of her kids are too young for video games and should be playing Leapfrog Edutainment stuff at best. Hey I played predecessors to those in the early 80's. They were great!

3) She bought a pirated "bundle" of 20 games. Even if they weren't pirated 20 games at once is overwhelming for me as an adult, let alone an 8 year old.

4) She didn't bother to teach them anything about sharing, set any limits of playtime or set ground rules on who can play, when, which was set up as soon as the NES arrived in my house as a kid. My parents were even willing to take it away if my sister and I weren't playing nice.

5) She's a bitch, like a lot of British women who write to the Daily Mail as I have learned thanks to Sterling and Fark.

6) 4 kids? Come on. They also look like ungreatful brats in the picture on the article of that website that shall not be named.
StriderS's Avatar
StriderS at 05/05/2008 14:32
Hold on. So she thinks the DS is a horrible drug that destroys people, so she gives it away to already less fortunate people? wtf
Wexx's Avatar
Wexx at 05/05/2008 14:34
People just never cease to amaze me with their stupidity. LETS GIVE ONE PIECE OF MEAT TO 4 STARVING LIONS! THEY WON'T FIGHT, AND THEY'LL SHARE TOO! YOU JUST WATCH!
Dexter345's Avatar
Dexter345 at 05/05/2008 14:38
My favorite part is that she calls it a Nintendo.
-PL-'s Avatar
-PL- at 05/05/2008 14:49
What the hell does she expect, buying ONE DS for FOUR kids? Lolz. She should apply that logic in every aspect, and see how much they fight. "Here's a hamburger, kids. SHARE IT!"

It's gonna suck when they're all old enough to drive and have to share one car. I guess then CARS will be a poisonous, toxic drug.
brainderailment's Avatar
brainderailment at 05/05/2008 14:53
DS games give me cracne and made me pawn off my grandmother's tv. I probably should get a doctor to look at my pussy wounds too.
Eschatos's Avatar
Eschatos at 05/05/2008 15:06
It's not just a drug, it's a POISON DRUG!!!1
ironmanrules1333's Avatar
ironmanrules1333 at 05/05/2008 15:16
@StriderS
right. Someone's either lying or is a terrible person.
SubOrbital's Avatar
SubOrbital at 05/05/2008 15:27
That stupid bitch failed before she even got them a DS. Her parenting skills fail.
PaperBowser0's Avatar
PaperBowser0 at 05/05/2008 15:50
what a fu$king bitch.....damn.
Sharpless's Avatar
Sharpless at 05/05/2008 15:56
How about you fucking parent your child and teach them moderation? They're children, of course they're going to want to play with the shiny thing. It's your bloody job to teach them not to overdue it. What a useless, useless parent. Grow a brain.
Kaspar's Avatar
Kaspar at 05/05/2008 16:06
Cheap bitch, just buy one for every kid.
Fleet3000's Avatar
Fleet3000 at 05/05/2008 16:14
yes, because buying 1 DS for 4 people is logically accurate.

right.

if anyone is corrupted, it's the mother for hogging all of her money and not buying a DS for everyone. if she did buy one for everyone, she MIGHT've been up for mother of the year. now she's just a victim of another nintendo tragedy.
Crumpet Lips's Avatar
Crumpet Lips at 05/05/2008 16:20
What a moron. I have a younger brother and when we were kids we used to fight ALL the time. No it wasn't the demons in the television making us fight or the murder simulators in our Nintendo, it was because of one thing. We were siblings. Siblings fight with one another reguardless of how they have been raised. All children get jealous over other children having something that they do not own or have or get to play. You could have the sweetest little angel's of children in a very strict christian family but they would still rip each others throats out if they had to SHARE a ball or another item. It all boils down to "If he/she has it, why can't I have it? I want it NOW".

It isn't bad parenting. It isn't video games. It isn't the television. It is natural human behaviour. You can't blame it on anything else.

This stupid bitch just likes to shift the blame and make it look like her SUPER MEGA AWESOME idea of buying ONE Nintendo DS for FOUR kids is going to somehow pan out the kids will be complete chillers with one another and LOVE to share the ONE Nintendo DS in the house.

You fucking idiot, learn to parent properly. Don't distribute ONE Nintendo DS around to four kids, if you bought one for one of your little shit bags, buy three more to shut your other three fuckers up.

Dick head.
Kiranio's Avatar
Kiranio at 05/05/2008 16:41
Because small childred never fight over anything, and have never before.
necrozen's Avatar
necrozen at 05/05/2008 16:43
I remember the night I bought my ds. Got all shaky. Hopped in the car and metaled over to cherry street. Parked and waited. Dude in a hoodie shows up. "Whatcha want?" I was like "Whata got in the way of 'poison drugs'?" He smiled and shook my hand, leaving the DS in my palm. "That'll be a buck fifty, buddy."

I've been hooked ever since.
BA Chieftain's Avatar
BA Chieftain at 05/05/2008 16:51
Remember, if it makes you happy, it's a drug. Of course they are going to spend more time using it then doing other shit if you don't have restrictions. My mom sat my ass down on the curb and made it so I couldn't play video games unless it was a weekend; it sucked, I snuck around her and played them anyway, but god damn it I still had limits. And guess what, it worked. I have moderate restraint now.
grrza's Avatar
grrza at 05/05/2008 18:12
Rosie noted how the toy caused "endless rows, sessions of screaming and increasingly regular parental punishment."
Surely this has nothing to do with her shitty parenting.
jjwet35's Avatar
jjwet35 at 05/05/2008 18:17
what an idiotic mother??1!! why not just a buy a wii instead, and buy multiplayer games for her 4 kids? problem solved. stupid stupid stupid.
bleep's Avatar
bleep at 05/05/2008 19:04
I think what might be poisoning their family is her lack of parenting skills and misplaced desire to be "friends" with her kids.
timtheterrible's Avatar
timtheterrible at 05/05/2008 19:36
Mxyzptlk Fucking wins.
JustLikeBuck's Avatar
JustLikeBuck at 05/06/2008 03:13
Hahahahah, yeah kids can be that way. Imagine hers when they discover smack, cocaine and amphetamines... You know, real poisonous drugs!
JustLikeBuck's Avatar
JustLikeBuck at 05/06/2008 03:14
Also, buying 1 DS for 2 children is on a par with seal-clubbing.
zombiekiller13's Avatar
zombiekiller13 at 05/06/2008 07:53
I have a 1 year old duaghter and 4 year old son. If I get a toy, even a Happy Meal toy, for one of them, the other one wants it. Fights over it normally ensue if the other doesn't share. Used to happen all the time with my sisters as well...hell, they'd want my Voltron (the big one with separate lions, not the dinky ones). Even my brother, who was 4 when I was in high school, would get ticked when I'd open a Christmas gift and he didn't get the same thing...even if it was a CD.

So, yeah...kids fighting over stuff is nothing new. This woman is a fucking idiot for thinking that the DS is "poison". You bought ONE kid the DS, but got squat for the other kids. And it's not even some toy...it's a fraking game console, with lights and sound and buttons and crazy shit. You think the other kids are going to sit there and watch their sibling have a whole shitload of fun?

Moron.
tdizzly's Avatar
tdizzly at 05/06/2008 14:25
To top it off, I tried to post a comment on the page to let this woman know how much of a douche she is (without using those terms of course) and it didn't get through the filtering. there wasn't any profanity, I guess the shitbag newspaper doesn't want anyone to comment on the matter. Even now, there's zero comments, its almost like the article just exists to irritate people and waste space...
drogaz1's Avatar
drogaz1 at 05/06/2008 16:36
Wow, this is dumb even for the Daily Mail. The DS is probably the most family friendly console on the market right now and yet the Daily Mail still acts like it's the spawn of Satan. Not only that but of course they are going to fight over it when you only by them one. I wonder what horrible killing tools she bought for her children. Electroplankton? Cooking Mama? Maybe even Nintendogs? The Daily Mail hit a new low when they went from only attacking violent games to attacking video games in general.
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