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Here's some chicken soup for the geek in you: the New York Times has mapped out a matrix of all of the things that may have directly benefited for the geekery that was Dungeons and Dragons. It may be a stretch to attribute the problem-solving logic that went to creating the Internet to dice-raping a gang of underground gold-hoarding lizards, but the author makes a compelling argument that these are pivotal to the fabric of all geekdom. You must believe that certain serious fat men who would go on to grow great beards and run IT departments did certainly play the games of Gary Gygax. This is what makes the diagram so spot-on funny: it maps the fabric of the pasty sunlight-and-vagina-starved Neuromancer-wannabes right down to the last convention center event and Mountain Dew can.

So RIP, GG & THX. I'm proudly guilty of at least 91% of all of the above and wouldn't have it any other way. Protip: For added fun, substitute his name with Al Gore before sending to friends.

[ Via Polygamia

LAUNCH GALLERY (1 IMAGES)
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36 comments | showing # 1 to 36
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13thDragon's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 12:46
13thDragon
Gygax?
PsychosesMan's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 12:49
PsychosesMan
Do I get to follow the Taught Yourself Pascal thing even if I only taught myself Python?
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 12:50
MrSadistic
Cinemax.
WillyFourEyes's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 12:51
WillyFourEyes
Where does the damn thing start?
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 12:52
Aaron Mxy Yost
I love how the no response to "Exposed to D&D Early In Life" goes directly to "Sunlight" followed by "Girls". :)
PsychosesMan's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 12:53
PsychosesMan
@Willy
It starts at Exposed To D&D Early In Life.
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 12:55
Justice
Gygax dude and this is a hilarious flow chart.
Geoff's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 12:58
Geoff
furcon no no no no no no
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 12:58
MrSadistic
I like how "fur con" has a bunch of "NO" around it.
Holyetheline's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 13:03
Holyetheline
I like how if you weren't exposed to DND it means you are immediately exposed to sun light which leads to girls... make sense.
Dhaos's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 13:12
Dhaos
page hits= hit points.... I see what they did there...
Dhaos's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 13:14
Dhaos
sry for the double post but I just realized there is no "no" on the "douting the techincal accuracy of this diagram"
Wedge's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 13:25
Wedge
Is pretty swiffer.
wardrox's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 13:27
wardrox
that's just cool.
Neonie's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 13:34
Neonie
That is quite possible the dumbest thing I've ever seen.

ORGINIZATION SKILLS, DOES HE HAVE THEM?
Kayka's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 13:34
Kayka
Wow, that's scarily accurate. :)

R.I.P. Mister Gigax
s0lesurviv0r's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 13:53
s0lesurviv0r
I'm surprised there isn't a mention of Magic:The Gathering somewhere in there.
crizz's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 14:43
crizz
Too bad he couldn't find a 12th level cleric in time.
Danmartigan's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 15:07
Danmartigan
This chart is pure awesome. I ended up with an intense relationship with sci-fi, painted pewter figures and now I am a web designer. Chart does not lie!
Schmo0zle's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 15:43
Schmo0zle
Chart does not take into account those with changes of heart!

I went from The D & D, to "No", to "Sunlight", straight to "Girls", which is accurate...But then I got all nerdy!

Har har! Take that, smart...charting...people.
BahamutZero's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 16:24
BahamutZero
looks like someone from nytimes goes on... you know, that website. rules 1,2, etc...
Eschatos's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 16:50
Eschatos
It all leads to girls!
LusciousRichard's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 17:10
LusciousRichard
This looks a lot like a flowchart that Chris Onstad would do for his comic Achewood. Anybody know if Onstad was involved in creating this?
Justin Villasenor's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 17:18
Justin Villasenor
I played D&D for the entirety of yesterday. I think Gary would've wanted it that way.
uptonogood's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 17:45
uptonogood
for those of us with some investigative skills, the illustrator is Adam Rogers. i'm assuming this is his website: http://adamrogers.com/
mistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 17:48
mistic
wow man what an amazing map :-)
Brian Szabelski's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 17:57
Brian Szabelski
So if I didn't play D & D, I get girls? I win!
Niero's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 21:50
Niero
Doh, butchered his name. Awesome
kawitchate's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 23:00
kawitchate
this is so full of win
love the whole Harry Potter part
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 03:55
Bob Muir
The sunlight line is hilarious.
HarassmentPanda's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 09:22
HarassmentPanda
This seems like it could take all day to get through! The No D&D -> sunlight -> girls track is hilarious though.
Faith's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 09:48
Faith
I'm attached to so many boxes on there that I'm actually scared. Renaissance faires, Computers, D&D, MMORPGS, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Internets, Harry Potter, etc. That's scary
AlucardX24's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 10:40
AlucardX24
They forgot the part about commenting on Destructoid.
SyntaxError's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 11:35
SyntaxError
Yeah, why is there no mention of CCG's in there? It's just like D&D, only less nerdier (or more so, depending on who you ask).
thebrassthief's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 15:11
thebrassthief
That's awesome.
KorJax's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 14:56
KorJax
Furcon?

D:
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