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New Weekly Article: Sunday Sidequests

6:47 PM on 12.24.2006 // Sheir

Well, well, well. If it isn't a new weekly article with an awesome title (Ego +1). Here at Destructoid, we're all about promoting indie games, and since we're obviously in a position to bring attention to these games, I came up with a (dare I say) genius idea, that being this here article, "Sunday Sidequests."

So, if you do not have the analytical skills to figure out what I'll be doing here, I will explain it to you. Weekly, we will post an article filled with time-wasting, fun, awesome flash games around the internet. If there's one thing I hate more than crying children, it's boredom. Consider this article my battle against that boredom; Sheir's Last Stand, at the Battle of Little Boredhorn.

Don't lie to yourself, that was the best analogy ever.

Now that my ego has successfully leveled up, follow that green and red rectangle to the battlefield. We're winning.

Line Rider: That game that everyone already knows.

Why Line Rider? Do I need to bless this question with an answer? Ever since its debut, Line Rider's been rockin' the tubes to their cyber-core, and the awesomenity (if you will) does not end there. It's slated to be a hit on the DS and Wii, too. Alas, for now we'll have to deal with the Flash Version. But I'm not complaining -- I have a Wacom Tablet!

Unfortunately, some of our readers out there may have trouble with this game; It's a bitch. That Sw33t picture up there? That doesn't work at all. My deep dark secret (besides those other ones that I only tell Snookums) is that I suck at Line Rider. I suck badly. It's true guys, I am not completely infallible. Just mostly.

Eyezmaze: Unique games and Engrish a prenty.

Why Eyezmaze? Eyezmaze is one of my all-time favorite Web sites. It's populated by unique, often awesome flash games that I can't get enough of. As soon as you bring up this page in your browser, you'll notice a little dude in the bottom right corner.

It's a rock, paper, scissors sim. How awesome is that?

Upon further exploration of the site, you may notice a few familiar games. For example, Grow, a game of evolution, chance, and annoyance. There are quite a few versions of Grow (the OG versions, christmas, RPG, Cube), all of which are fun and interesting time-wasters. But that's not why I love Eyezmaze.

It's Tontie. God damn, this game is amazing. At first glance, it may seem like a simple Whack-A-Mole type game, but damn, it's so much more. It's like sex, except our readers can have it (sorry.). Essentially a Whack-A-Mole RPG, this game is the epitome of addictiveness, and I often find myself wasting my days away hitting my number pad.

Of course, Eyezmaze has a bunch of other games, too. What the hell? Why is this site so awesome? It just is. Click around, have a good time, and thank me later.

Puki, the pinnacle of frustration, and subsequent relief of frustration, with a cute, white thing dead in mid-air.

Why Puki? The oddest game of the bunch, Puki is a 3D, flash, first person shooter. The object of the game is to destroy little white bastards with your double-laser gun thing. If that doesn't sound good to you, then you're a communist. I can play this game constantly, running through hallways and blasting somewhat cute demon-esque things as they bear their teeth at me, awaiting a laser blast in the face. By no means a deep game, it encompasses the casual game genre; fun, easy, and a quick pick up and play game that anyone can enjoy. 

But wait, there's more:

Think I did a shitty job with Sunday Sidequests? Well, first of all, go f*ck yourself. Secondly, I am aware that this is not the best start, but I feel it's a relatively good one. But, in an effort to make it better, I offer you guys a chance to make it better.

If you find any interesting flash games on the Internet, or video-game related time-wasters, feel free to e-mail them to our Sunday Sidequests Gmail Account! We'll pick out the best ones, play through them, and put them up here weekly. If you're a game designer, feel free to hit us up there as well, it'd be awesome to get an interview.

Also, feel free to browse through some of the screenshots in our gallery. In order to help you get a better feel for the game, I risked my in-game-life to get some screens for you. Be thankful. 

Now that everything is said and done, have a Merry Christmas Eve. You can't yell at me for saying that; it's f*cking Christmas Eve! See you guys next week.

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