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New Lara Croft poses make old Lara look like a bobble head photo

Lara Croft has gone through a few changes in her life, most of them based around graphical advancements in breast rounding technology. Back in the day Lara was naught more than a couple of polygons stuck together to vaguely resemble large breasts and Angelina Jolie-esque lips. Yes, Lara has come a long way and Lara Croft fanboy Nicobass felt that it was time to update some of her classic sexy poses since the old ones really did look old.

Now that I'm seeing these side by side, old Lara was really creepy. Her head is way too big, her ass is unnaturally large and I'm pretty sure her lips would have to have their own zip code. Maybe my maturity level has been raised since those original images came out (doubtful), but I don't see what I saw in old Lara at all. New Lara on the other hand, well, I'd totally raid her tomb. Know what I mean? Eh? Eh? A nods as good as wink to a blind beggar.

[Images and story via Tomb Raider Fanboy]


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39 comments | showing # 1 to 39

Naim Master's Avatar
Naim Master at 06/27/2009 23:07
New Lara's legs are too thin , old Lara's head is too big ... Why can't they just get Megan Fox without the mutant thumb and give her a nice boost in breats , legs and butt?
Magnalon's Avatar
Magnalon at 06/27/2009 23:08
It's sexy time on Dtoid today!
ThunderHeartXI's Avatar
ThunderHeartXI at 06/27/2009 23:08
A lot of those are far to deep into the uncanny valley for me to enjoy but one or two of them are awesome.
runtheplacered's Avatar
runtheplacered at 06/27/2009 23:26
@ Naim Master,

"New Lara's legs are too thin , old Lara's head is too big ... Why can't they just get Megan Fox without the mutant thumb and give her a nice boost in breats , legs and butt?"

Ugh, why Megan Fox? She looks like a piece of used plastic.
lem's Avatar
lem at 06/27/2009 23:31
Are you you selling something?
Why yes she is good at sport.
atastysammich's Avatar
atastysammich at 06/27/2009 23:35
Would this make for an awesome threesome Y/Y?
pascuz46's Avatar
pascuz46 at 06/27/2009 23:44
Lara Croft now running on Unreal Engine 3!
Netnavi's Avatar
Netnavi at 06/27/2009 23:50
unnatrally large? Her old ass was perfect. I kinda like the old Lara better for some reason. I like hips on my women.
Holiday's Avatar
Holiday at 06/28/2009 00:51
New Laura Croft needs to eat more + what's up with that chin to lips ratio?
Kyousuke Nanbu's Avatar
Kyousuke Nanbu at 06/28/2009 00:53
New Lara seems to be more naughty as evidence by the image on the bed, Old Lara is wearing panties, New Lara is not.

HOT.
GRIMDARK's Avatar
GRIMDARK at 06/28/2009 01:05
brb fapping
Timmeh's Avatar
Timmeh at 06/28/2009 01:41
Old Lara's face is REALLY disturbing. Especially in that last picture on the first image. Reminiscent of Gollum for some reason.
Sharpless's Avatar
Sharpless at 06/28/2009 02:30
Looks like it really is Megan Fox vs. Angelina Jolie. Eerily so.
whormongr's Avatar
whormongr at 06/28/2009 02:58
the thing that is the freakiest about old lara is her hairline- it starts @ like the middle of her head
Lsage's Avatar
Lsage at 06/28/2009 03:00
hmm i those new pics reminded me of a girl i saw on the weekend at a footy game -Rachel Finch, Miss Universe Australia.
Autumn's Avatar
Autumn at 06/28/2009 04:50
If you cover up old Lara's head she looks better than new Lara. Because she basically looks like a DOA girl.
Her head does ruin everything though, it looks like it's been literally stuck on.
momomo66's Avatar
momomo66 at 06/28/2009 04:54
Is it just me, or does old Lara look a lot like the MCP from Tron... right?
Aziel13's Avatar
Aziel13 at 06/28/2009 05:31
gooda lord <3
Cuba Gooding Jr's Avatar
Cuba Gooding Jr at 06/28/2009 08:35
Old Laura has a very Michael Jackson-esque look about her.
EdgyDude's Avatar
EdgyDude at 06/28/2009 08:44
This just proves we're all graphics whores *drools*
Xhumation's Avatar
Xhumation at 06/28/2009 10:08
we've come a long way in naughtyness rendering that's for sure.
Infinitys End's Avatar
Infinitys End at 06/28/2009 10:26
Anyone else think new Lara looks a lot like Natalie Portman?
Borghundy's Avatar
Borghundy at 06/28/2009 10:37
@infinitys End: Yeah, only not anorexic looking. Natalie Portman was fucking gross in Darjeeling Limited. You could literally count her ribs. Which is a shame because she IS really pretty, she just looks like she escaped a concentration camp.
Elsa's Avatar
Elsa at 06/28/2009 10:42
Well... at least she got some breast reduction surgery done to bring her proportions to something vaguely resembling normal. It's not so obvious in this picture, moreso when playing the more recent games... but I have to say, every time she shimmied sideways against a wall in those pre-surgery games, all I could think of was "OUCH!".
Soulwax's Avatar
Soulwax at 06/28/2009 10:47
@Kyousuke Nanbu

That comment was creepy as hell.
Chronic Logic's Avatar
Chronic Logic at 06/28/2009 10:58
Old Lara Croft is sexier, even though it isn't realistic. *sigh* why is real life so boring?
MuddBstrd's Avatar
MuddBstrd at 06/28/2009 11:06
Now if only they'd create pictures like this of Nathan Drake...
HiddenAHB's Avatar
HiddenAHB at 06/28/2009 12:46
Lara Croft, making gamer horny proudly since the dawn of videogames.
GohanGVO's Avatar
GohanGVO at 06/28/2009 13:14
New Lara's head on old Lara's thickness = win.
Solozaur's Avatar
Solozaur at 06/28/2009 14:44
I still like old lara better, just look at those hips!
Johnny Justice's Avatar
Johnny Justice at 06/28/2009 15:11
My perspective hasn't changed. I was dumbfounded by all the fuss back in the day.
Palidi's Avatar
Palidi at 06/28/2009 17:12
I agree with Naim Master's analysis. New Lara is too scrawny, and old Lara is too deformed.
Chibi_Zero's Avatar
Chibi_Zero at 06/28/2009 17:23
Not going to lie. I fapped to the old Lara more then the new one.
atheistium's Avatar
atheistium at 06/29/2009 01:10
CAME BUCKETS
benus's Avatar
benus at 06/29/2009 05:20
if they had spend half the time they spend relooking her ass, in updating the gameplay the serie would still be alive...

there's absolutely no reason for a game like underworld to exist in a world post uncharted...

nathan drake should'nt kick lara croft's ass, it's insane, it's like if dante's inferno was better than god of war 3 it's just not possible too even consider it.
Bastard Spawn's Avatar
Bastard Spawn at 06/29/2009 08:08
Wouldn't be surprised if they got Angie to voice her in the next game.
Demtor's Avatar
Demtor at 06/29/2009 17:44
Kate Beckinsale? Is that you?
Gryzor's Avatar
Gryzor at 07/01/2009 02:18
I'm sticking with Old Lara, no freaking contest here..

Sure, her face is rendered in that odd, cartoonish style (which was pretty consistent with how the games looked back then); but her equally cartoonish, exaggerated figure is absolutely proper for a videogame fantasy girl.

IMO, just another casualty to the trend towards 'realism' in games. :/
TheSinatraHandShakeCode's Avatar
TheSinatraHandShakeCode at 08/02/2009 08:40
raid her tomb AHAHAH gold
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