According to a recent poll, two thirds of men would rather play new videogames than stick their filthsticks inside a lady's weeping wormhole.
31% of the 1,130 men applied this rule to games in general, claiming that women were too "hard to please" and videogames were simply more fun. The unambitious attitude saddens me greatly. When it came to brand new videogames, the results jumped up to 72%, with men unwilling to pass up the latest release. Even if it meant they could stuff their dirtsquirters into a quivering slop portal.
This kind of thing isn't new. There have been polls that say the same about women. I wish it were true, of course. Maybe if stupid underachievers were playing videogames instead of rampantly f*cking each other at any given opportunity, our streets wouldn't be full of morons who can't even open the gate to my apartment complex because they're too dumb to operate a simple card system, the MORONS! THERE'S A RECESSION ON! STOP HAVING BABIES!
Ahem. Do you prefer games to sex?
Jim Sterling serves as reviews editor for Destructoid.com, head of the Podtoid podcast, and produces a number of news stories, original features, one-of-a-kind videos. With his passionate argumentative style, controversial opinions, harsh delivery, and dedication to brutal honesty Sterling is a name that you can't help but recognize.
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Contest:
9:00 AM on 04.02.2009
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Games over sex . . . meh, I could see that happening. You're pretty much aware of what happens at the end of sex by the time you're 16. But it takes some time to work out that ATLAS IS FONTAINE!
personal vocabulary updated
Did you just spoiler me without me realizing it?
But like someone once said "Women are great, but what are you going to do for the other 23 hours?"
1) Get your D wet
or
2) Get your VG on
Its a hard choice every man has to face at some point in his life.
Eeeewwww.
one would think that anyone that would refer to women’s anatomy as “a lady’s weeping wormhole” would most likely find themselves amongst the two thirds as well.
Although, you may have given me ammunition in the constant war between my friend and I to disgust the other.
POPPYCOCK!
Also Bioautographical did you just spoil Bioshock for me?! :( Not cool
that said, i imagine the people that would pick videogames are probably not the kind of people you want to hand the future of humanity to.
Sex is only fun with Italians and Latinos. Nobody else has the fire.
There is no such thing as a spoiler on a nearly two year-old game.
YEAH! It's like THAT! Anyone seen Idiocracy? Believe it!
"stuff their dirtsquirters into a quivering slop portal"
And you say you're not a journalist? You're in denial, sir! This is the work of a top-notch journalist, in fact!
The controller skills gave me the power of clitorization. I can move my fingers in any rhythm, with soft or hard pressure - thanks, Dual Shock 2! - and I also a skilled conoisseur of the female anatomy and predisposition to oral sex - thanks, porn!
All of that was achieved thru games and pron. So, really, if a guy can't please a woman, this is major loserism. And don't get me started about the filthstick skills...
The matter is that some guys don't think over the cock. Sex is a lot a stuff, "also cocks". Not ONLY cocks. There's touch, all the senses...
But if the guy is a loser and rather play Power Rangers Anthology over a nice, good looking and hot girl, I'm SO sorry...
Well, better for us gamers that actually have a brain and a healthy sex life. Gamer girls, we're here and willing to please you.
because JOURNALISM!
But I love the ladies more.
...Or maybe I'm just lucky.