If you want a quick wank, have no shame, and don't know what pornography is, then don't worry. Here's Tecmo Koei to the rescue with some new screens of Dead or Alive: Paradise, the PSP iteration of the deliciously sexist series.
As you might expect, the shameless shots all revolve around women with big boobs and not a lot else going for them. They want you to look at their breasts. They're smiling about it, so don't worry about them feeling ashamed or anything. Everything is alright.
Go right ahead, take a look. Nobody needs to know, and who should care if a hand slides down your pants while you do it? Go on, it's all fine. We're all friends here. If you want to manipulate your sac and apply pressure to your perinium while looking at these pictures, it'll be just between us. Should you wish to stimulate the base of your helmet with a finger, that's perfectly fine. Go on. Just a bit. That's better. See? What harm could come of OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU DISGUSTING LITTLE BASTARD!?!?!?!
LAUNCH GALLERY (39 IMAGES)
Jim Sterling serves as reviews editor for Destructoid.com, head of the Podtoid podcast, and produces a number of news stories, original features, one-of-a-kind videos. With his passionate argumentative style, controversial opinions, harsh delivery, and dedication to brutal honesty Sterling is a name that you can't help but recognize.
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Contest:
9:30 PM on 02.19.2010 | 
You think DoA will ever get back to that? Especially when games like this are around to make sure it remains nothing but a joke?
And now this just looks like the not even remotely entertaining second game with worse graphics and the jet skiing removed.
I just don't see the point in this existing. What does this offer that the existing games (and the internet) doesn't? The option to get yourself listed on a sex offenders register while you're on the commute to work? You like the idea of the DOAX games but their graphics weren't blocky enough for you and you didn't like that they threatened to have some vague gameplay?
And I can't be the only one who sees Hitomi and thinks Jon Bongiovi.
Because I like her, and I like her too,
and I like her and I like her too,
and I like her and I like her too.
and she likes me and I like her too
Don't you mean locked in your parent's bedrooms.0_0
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