We have to give a whole bag of propers to the huge number of people who sent in tips regarding Gamespot's revelation of a new Bionic Commando title coming to the Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and PC.
Hit the jump for words!
The original title was a highly underrated gem combining equal parts action, platforming and ingenious gimmicks, the most obvious of which is the commando's eponymous extendable arm. Using the mechanical arm allowed players to attach themselves to bits of scenery, swing around like some kind of 'spider man' and attain the lofty sex appeal once reserved for Col. Steve Austin. Unless you're too busy subscribing to Marxist theory, that description should put a lil' chub in those pants of yours.
After years of fans crying out for Capcom to revive the series -- and them instead offering gamers more MegaMan titles -- Capcom has finally coalesced. Unfortunately, they seem to be taking the Prince of Persia angle with this series' resurrection, and the plot has been described thusly:
... the new game's storyline appears to carry a more cynical edge. After serving his country honorably in conflict with the Imperials, technologically enhanced agent Nathan Spencer is framed for a number of crimes by his superiors and sentenced for execution. Fate intervenes, as an experimental terrorist weapon is detonated in Ascension City on the day Spencer is to be executed. With the city in ruins and Spencer uniquely equipped to handle the many skyscrapers, monorails, and suspended roadways, the government reluctantly turns to its imprisoned bionic commando for help.
While that sort of description absolutely screams 'nürock', we're hoping Nate won't be sporting manscara as thick as a raccoon Pete Wentz'.
Capcom has yet to reveal anything beyond the above, but we'll let you know as soon as we get some release date info or some hands-on time with the title.
Contest:
12:06 AM on 10.16.2007
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What? She has a prescription for Valtrex? Really?
There is a God, and he/she loves me!
/snore.
Here it is.
Bionic Commando with dredlock ponytail = Fail
But who ever said using the ol' nature pump to produce a couple tablespoons of [tm]Man-Aise[/tm] wasn't fun?
That aside, it bothers me that they're basing the story off of the craptacular localization of the NES game rather than the original story where you were, y'know, fighting Hitler. Yeah, Mr. Interviewer Superfan, I thought "The Badds" was a silly name too. That's why I just called them "Nazis" like they were supposed to be.
Huh? OH SHI- I SHOT IN THE NEUTRAL ZONE!!
Also, this is going to suck, because the world is just not a happy enough place for it to be good.
...does the image reference Frisky Dingo...or is the sudden increase of Haggar slacks references just a coincidence?
line leader (and definitely hall pass monitor) then goes on to imply that rad spencer isn't a badass name, and that nathan spencer is. and to any nathan spencers out there, at least your birth certificate doesn't say farty mchopscotch...though i'm sure you wish it did.
then ol' needs a shave claims to be the biggest bionic commando fan in the world. after having mentioned that he went with the focus group choice of a glowing blue arm, and when someone else mentioned it was pretty pathetic, he graciously allowed them to come up with something new in a 'very small time frame' or else they'd stick with the sh*t blue. someone needs to get their priorities straight and either make the f*ckin' kickass, mind-blowing game this could be, or suck on the nippling* teat of his japanese daddy.
this looks like it's going to disappoint more than aninfiniteamountofboobs.com...and i can only hope capcom proves me wrong. for this was THE entertainment item of my childhood, followed closely by the bmx movie rad, followed by nose picking. if the game is what it could be, i might just have to give aninfiniteamountofboobs.com another chance, as it will mean anything is possible.
*yeah, i don't know either.
saying that, i'm probably gonna buy the fucking thing.
Just yesterday I ranted on why BIONIC COMMANDO should be in all its "Head Explodey" glory on Virtual Console and now... WOOHOOOO!!
First they let Capcom USA make Final Fight Streetwise. That sucked.
Then they put Resdient Evil on the DS, and it failed to sell because the RE demographic had bought the PSP.
Then they put Mega Man and Ghosts N Goblins on the PSP and they failed to sell, because their demographics had bought the DS.
Now they are putting both of those bad ideas together and letting Capcom USA make the new Bionic Commando game and their putting it on the 360 and the PS3 instead of the DS and the Wii.
And I'd waited so long for a new Bionic Commando game.
*Sighs*
Boo on emo commando.
care meter............................0
We love you, Megaman.
fate can't intervene...fate was always meant to be, so, actually, fate just continued to be
=D
"We are not amused."