games  anime  |  toys
Destructoid is gaming news, community, videos, and sometimes love. Take the tour or jump in with Facebook:

 



Prepare yourself. You are about to watch a trailer for upcoming Japanese WiiWare game Muscle March that will include the following:

  • Constellations in the shape of muscles
  • Rainbows
  • Sheep
  • More penises than you can count
  • An old man making masturbatory motions
  • Men in Speedos running really fast
  • Men in Speedos running really fast and breaking through walls
  • A polar bear in a diaper

Check it out after the jump.

It’s easily the best thing you will ever see.

It goes without saying that I would sell my first born to have this come to America. You need a baby, Namco?


Continue: More Gay friendly stories





prev
next 50 comments

65 comments | showing # 1 to 50

Zepwich's Avatar
Zepwich at 05/15/2009 20:35
Wow, thats so random, I have to get this.
Matthew Blake's Avatar
Matthew Blake at 05/15/2009 20:37
That was the greatest thing I have ever seen.
Scary Womanizing Pig Mask's Avatar
Scary Womanizing Pig Mask at 05/15/2009 20:39
Nice Muscle!
JoZo's Avatar
JoZo at 05/15/2009 20:41
AHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA so freaking weird.
Grant Mercy's Avatar
Grant Mercy at 05/15/2009 20:41
I can now happily go blind knowing that I will never see anything as wondrous again.
Toneman's Avatar
Toneman at 05/15/2009 20:42
I too will sell Chad's first born for this game.
CocoJambo's Avatar
CocoJambo at 05/15/2009 20:42
Absolutely brilliant! I can't even pick witch part was the funniest, all of it was incredible.
ChronosWing's Avatar
ChronosWing at 05/15/2009 20:43
Why do I have the feeling this will probably not leave Japan? Either way do want even if I have to obtain it by other means if it doesn't get released here.
DanlHaas's Avatar
DanlHaas at 05/15/2009 20:43
Brad Nicholson's GOTY. Confirmed.

(also, how am I the first to mention Brad?)
Black Nexus's Avatar
Black Nexus at 05/15/2009 20:48
O.o wut?
ArrestedDeveloper's Avatar
ArrestedDeveloper at 05/15/2009 20:54
My friend once had a picture of Japanese female body builders, it was impossible to masturbate to. Trust me.
imaginarythomas's Avatar
imaginarythomas at 05/15/2009 20:58
How come they get gems like this and we're stuck with "Family Pirate Fun Park: A day at the beach with fun"
JusticeDude's Avatar
JusticeDude at 05/15/2009 21:09
Thank you, Chad. This is now the greatest day ever.
Chronic Logic's Avatar
Chronic Logic at 05/15/2009 21:12
@ArrestedDeveloper

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE TO FAP TO!
Charey's Avatar
Charey at 05/15/2009 21:19
Why is everyone after the protein supplements? I think they have enough protein already.

That said I want to join the chase for excessive amounts protein.
Projectexodus's Avatar
Projectexodus at 05/15/2009 21:22
Omfg, a Norwegian Polar Bear!
Ikey Heyman's Avatar
Ikey Heyman at 05/15/2009 21:22
there are no words. THERE ARE NO WORDS.

except for maybe "oh, Japan, never change." but that's it.
Discarded Couch Sandwich's Avatar
Discarded Couch Sandwich at 05/15/2009 21:27
This is why I need a japanese Wii...

I'm sure if this game made it overseas the men would be significantly more clothed than they are depicted here. Heck, us Brits can't even handle seeing a man with his shirt off. (bye Contra, hello Probotector)

Its a ruination I say!
Naim Master's Avatar
Naim Master at 05/15/2009 21:43
Oh , you crazy ass otakus !
ErigBurger's Avatar
ErigBurger at 05/15/2009 21:45
"OUCHU! OUCHU!! OUCHUU!!!"

Never thought I'd see a dancing polar bear in an orange Speedo in my lifetime, but here we are!
purplepeopleeater's Avatar
purplepeopleeater at 05/15/2009 22:03
Why can't real life be more like this? Having strange muscled men running around breaking through buildings while posing would be awesome (as long as they didn't tear down my house.)
HiddenAHB's Avatar
HiddenAHB at 05/15/2009 22:14
Oh the homoerotic games. I thought they were gone for sure, but Nintendo had to brought them back.

Milestailsprowe's Avatar
Milestailsprowe at 05/15/2009 22:18
WHy cant we get this in the US
gamadaya's Avatar
gamadaya at 05/15/2009 22:23
I like how gay (homo gay) is treated like an emotion in Japan.
AgentMOO's Avatar
AgentMOO at 05/15/2009 22:30
OUCH OUCH OUCH!


NICE MUCELE!

Also, that's brilliant that the beginning of the trailer has a constellation of a dude's butt
Tanukitsune's Avatar
Tanukitsune at 05/15/2009 22:50
Am the only person who thought of Cho Aniki when I saw the header image?

I hope it comes to Europe! D:
crims0ncha0s's Avatar
crims0ncha0s at 05/15/2009 22:53
LMFAO! Epic win! Too funny.
gatorsax2010's Avatar
gatorsax2010 at 05/15/2009 22:57
They can bring it to the US and call it Muscle Muscle Muscle!
whormongr's Avatar
whormongr at 05/15/2009 23:06
doood. awesome.
Jack Maverick's Avatar
Jack Maverick at 05/15/2009 23:26
Dibs on the polar bear.
calpis's Avatar
calpis at 05/15/2009 23:38
Saying this now, I will buy a wii if this game comes out here.
bluemeep's Avatar
bluemeep at 05/16/2009 00:42
Japan, you rascals.
Dexter345's Avatar
Dexter345 at 05/16/2009 01:00
Eight bucks? I'd buy it, were it out here.
Mr Wrighty 987's Avatar
Mr Wrighty 987 at 05/16/2009 01:06
Best. Game . Ever
MissHinasaki's Avatar
MissHinasaki at 05/16/2009 02:01
So from what I've gathered the story is that random foes continuously steal your protein shake and you must chase them down by playing that fit-in-the-whole-in-the-wall game from the Ellen Degeneras show?
Analitic's Avatar
Analitic at 05/16/2009 03:06
at first i thought it was a spoof of all the destructoid editors, but no its 'real' and in Japan. Thats it, im moving.
Stella Wong's Avatar
Stella Wong at 05/16/2009 03:12
POLAR BEARS :DDD
odber's Avatar
odber at 05/16/2009 03:49
AMAAAAAZING!! I must have this game. Also very nice music
Cough's Avatar
Cough at 05/16/2009 03:55
What AgentMOO said.

Also, thank you chad for bringing light into our lives.
Double J's Avatar
Double J at 05/16/2009 05:58
...What exactly is that old guy doing in the corner at 0:37(and several other points in the trailer)?
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar
Jonathan Holmes at 05/16/2009 06:40
I truly need to own this game.
IpcressFiles's Avatar
IpcressFiles at 05/16/2009 07:12
That game has turned me
grasslunatic's Avatar
grasslunatic at 05/16/2009 08:25
I've been scarred for life.
Thymine's Avatar
Thymine at 05/16/2009 08:42
When I saw that protein, the muscle men, and the bra dude, I thought of The World of Golden Eggs. Must play polar bear.
mr showtime's Avatar
mr showtime at 05/16/2009 09:59
I knew I bought a Wii for a reason.


When's the US launch?
Monodi's Avatar
Monodi at 05/16/2009 10:25
Ok that was amazing
iconsam's Avatar
iconsam at 05/16/2009 10:55
Great, now I want a protein shake.
mascot1063's Avatar
mascot1063 at 05/16/2009 11:17
is the one in a pink bakini a woman? lol wow...
OldSkull's Avatar
OldSkull at 05/16/2009 11:20
my grandma will love to play that... also, I can let her read my Honcho magazines after that, finally...
trueb7ue's Avatar
trueb7ue at 05/16/2009 14:25
SO HAPPY I HAVE A JPN WII *____* this and Takeshi's Challenge have made my purchase all the while.
prev next 50 comments

Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

Comments policy

Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?

Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!

 
New on Destructoid.TV play all videos

Loading
Loading Destructoid Videos



    Win this!
    Reminder: We're giving away six copies of Magnacarta 2!



    Dtoid Twitter    Got news?   tips@destructoid.com

    Reviews & Previews
    Mahjongg Artifacts 2 review
    Dragon Age: Origins review
    Lost Winds: The Winter of the Melodias review
    Osmos review
    Space Invaders Extreme 2 review
    Half-Minute Hero review
    JU-ON: The Grudge review
    Kenka Bancho: Badass Rumble review
    Thexder Neo review
    Domino Rally review
    more reviews
    PS3's 256-player MAG
    Rooms The Main Building
    Skate 3
    Hudson's bringing back the Bonk
    James Cameron's Avatar
    Bomberman Battlefest
    Calling
    Bad Company 2's multiplayer
    Partying like it's 1959 in BioShock 2's multiplayer
    BioShock 2 through the eyes of Big Daddy
    more previews


    - The Dtoid Army is 49531 strong -

    Showing Cblogs with 3+ faps   show all

    Call for entries: do the wrong thing
    New to Dtoid? Read the survival guide




     Originals
    Jim Sterling: Ten 'classic' games that did not age well





















    More Destructoid Originals



     Popular now more
























    Destructoid's editorial lovefest is:
    Nick Chester
    Editor-in-Chief    		 Jim Sterling
    Reviews Editor
    Dale North
    News Editor    		 Hamza Aziz
    Community Manager
    Anthony Burch
    Features Editor    		 Rey Gutierrez
    Video editor & director
    Niero
    Founder, publisher
    Letters to the editors
    tips@destructoid.com
    Associate Editors
    Ashley Davis Jonathan Holmes
    Brad Nicholson Jonathan Ross
    Brad Rice Jordan Devore
    Chad Concelmo Matthew Razak
    Colette Bennett Tom Fronczak
    Conrad Zimmerman Topher Cantler
    Dyson Samit Sarkar
    Contributors
    Adam Dork
    Ben Perlee
    Daniel Lingen
    Joseph Leray    		 Joe Burling
    Mikey
    Will Maddock
    Stella Wong





     

     
      get involved

    register or login
    post a blog
    post a forum
    enter a contest
    contribute a news tip
    suggest a feature
    be a guest editor
    		 support

    new member's guide
    login assistance
    tech support
    report abuse
    email our editors
    read our dev blog
    nuclear crisis?
    		 keep in touch

    RSS feed
    Twitter
    Facebook
    Myspace
    Flickr
    Game nights
    Meetup+play online     		seriously

    about Destructoid
    advertising
    terms of use
    privacy policy
    jobs at MM
    buy our crap     		our network

    Tomopop
    Japanator
    Despingation?



    Destructoid is an independently-run publication forged by our love of video games and the gaming community's need of accountable enthusiast press
    living the dream since March 16, 2006