Operator: Thank you for calling the Sears Portrait Studio. My name is Helga Krowzentstein-Clitstone IV, how can I ...

Me: Right! So I was in the thrift shop today and -- I shit you not -- I found the ugliest holiday cat sweater known to man. You know, with the f*cking jingle bells and holly! Ha! Theyre all hypnotized and there's a tabby one and a black one that looks like she's on LSD ... so listen, I want to go over there with my giant robot helmet and take some photos. In 1080p. You know, for my people.

Operator: What?

From everyone at Destructoid we wish you a very Merry Whatever and may you excel at the feats of strength against the other alpha males in your family. We hope you've had as much fun reading Dtoid this year as we have working on it. It's been real.

Special thanks to Ashley and Anthony for the inspiration, Jeremy Hoffman for being the patron saint to ugly Christmas sweaters, and Alex Montes De La Oca and Carlos Duque at Sears for having a great sense of humor. It's too bad your boss did not appreciate the underwear idea. There is always 2009.