(Alright, so nobody died, but I wanted to see if I could get Rob excited enough to pee all over the floor.)
In Nagoya, Japan (a country defined by its love for all things Nintendo), a man broke into the local Bic Camera (an electronics retailer) and tried to make off with a Wiimote. When stopped by the guards, he used his years of training as a repressed nerd to bludgeon them savagely with the controller. The guards suffered hand and chest injuries, and one of them was made fun of by his kids. A lot.
Well folks, I think we've reached the pinnacle of Wiinjury hilarity. Unless someone is actually assassinated with one, the ridiculousness of this string of silly incidents has come to its penultimate end. I think I speak for everyone here at Destructoid when I say; "Will one of you please murder someone with a Wiimote? It would be really funny for us."
[UPDATE: Nex lies. Often. He once got out of a test in high school by claiming he was descended from a Native American shaman and that he was late for a blood ritual that would grant him the powers of a wolf. Also, the above story seems to share some of those falsehoods; apparently the guy was just jacking the store for its Wiimote and used good, old fashioned kung-fu to beat the guards senseless. Sorry about the confusion, and Nex will be boiled alive for his crimes against humanity.]
Contest:
10:36 PM on 02.21.2007
| 
If I don't finish this semester, you might see the world's first wiimote death on the Gainesville news. Just you wait.
/props to Nex
No, Nex corrected an error he made in the original post. Instead of leaving that correction in the archives where no one would see it, he brought it back to the front page.