(Alright, so nobody died, but I wanted to see if I could get Rob excited enough to pee all over the floor.)
In Nagoya, Japan (a country defined by its love for all things Nintendo), a man broke into the local Bic Camera (an electronics retailer) and tried to make off with a Wiimote. When stopped by the guards, he used his years of training as a repressed nerd to bludgeon them savagely with the controller. The guards suffered hand and chest injuries, and one of them was made fun of by his kids. A lot.
Well folks, I think we've reached the pinnacle of Wiinjury hilarity. Unless someone is actually assassinated with one, the ridiculousness of this string of silly incidents has come to its penultimate end. I think I speak for everyone here at Destructoid when I say; "Will one of you please murder someone with a Wiimote? It would be really funny for us."
[UPDATE: Nex lies. Often. He once got out of a test in high school by claiming he was descended from a Native American shaman and that he was late for a blood ritual that would grant him the powers of a wolf. Also, the above story seems to share some of those falsehoods; apparently the guy was just jacking the store for its Wiimote and used good, old fashioned kung-fu to beat the guards senseless. Sorry about the confusion, and Nex will be boiled alive for his crimes against humanity.]
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21 comments + 95764 views
I'm on the job!
ahahaha o man...great article Nex! Keep up the great work!
Hmm...maybe this will be the next game! Hitman...here we come =P
I propose a game where you just beat people and fling the Wii mote at things. That'd be the whole game. See how many TV's you can break and people you can assault.
Im still waiting for x-rays of wiimotes up body cavity's to hit the net...Come on people get with the kinky shit!
That picture is just Dandy!
All hail Wiimote!
If I don't finish this semester, you might see the world's first wiimote death on the Gainesville news. Just you wait.
I fended off a group of blood-thirsty bandits with only my wii-mote and nunchuck flailing skills... true story.
Great article.
/props to Nex
Yes Nex, you do speak for me saying that.
Sweeet. I'd pay for video of that. BIG MONEY.
WOW this game looks AWESOME! when does it come out guys?
If the Wiimote sustains physical shock (like, you bash someone over the head with it) it can knock out the motion sensing capabilities but leave the pointing intact. The way I remedied this was by banging it into something again. Like when Fred Flintstone lost his memory. The Wii begets violence begets more violence!
I think nostradamus mentions the wii by name in describing a future cataclysm
black nostradamus, of course
That caption is full of win.
I wonder what music cd he was trying to shoplift?
I think the only thing that could top that is an article about a man saving someone from falling off a building with the wiimote strap!
I rob kids at my local high school for their lunch money with my Wiimote. They know whats up when i pull out my banga
reminds me of that movie with charlie sheen where he kidnaps that chick with a candy bar...ok so not tolly the same thing.. but hmm instead of that gun to carry in texas, maybe you'll start seeing people with wiimotes instead.. /takes mace out of purse and puts wiimote in instead
haha
Was it worth it?
I'd do it if I had a ninja outfit and had the nunchuck part of the Wii. I'd be a Wiininja. lol
You mean a Wiinja?
So, Elephant's acting up again, eh?
@ Dexter345
No, Nex corrected an error he made in the original post. Instead of leaving that correction in the archives where no one would see it, he brought it back to the front page.
@ Necros:
Correction, after I had caused this post to vanish due to innaccuracies, someone made it reappear in this spot, so I felt I should remedy things.
Im hoping to see a Wii used as a weapon in a new kung fu movie like KILL BILL2, The Wii will be at the end of a chain and death and destruction will ensue with every strike! And of course if the wrong person were to possess this weapon little spikes would shoot out and cut their hands....cuz it knows whos holding it.
Jeez Nex first the car crash was full o falsehoods, now this! The pressures of fatherhood are already getting to you!
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