games  anime  |  toys
Destructoid is gaming news, community, videos, and sometimes love. Take the tour or jump in with Facebook:

 


More Castlevania Rebirth screens = more sexy fun for you photo

So, this is what I do with my life now. I find screenshots of videogames and sexy people, put them together, then post them on the internet.

Why do I do this? Well, the technical reasons are still there (I didn't want to these screens to auto-stretch too much, so they all needed borders of some kind) but I think it may be a bit deeper than that. Perhaps it has something to do with a deep subconscious desire to be accepted, or less-than-subtle interest in making people horny. Regardless, this stuff seemed to go over well last time, so I guess I'll go at it again.

As you gaze upon these "enhanced" screenshots, please keep in mind the sacrifice that I am making for you. Thanks to posts like these, I will never be able to run for any elected office in the United States. All it takes now is a quick Google search for "Jonathan Holmes" and "sex" to reveal to the voting public excatly how I spent my early 30's; spreading the gospel about boobs, butts, and videogames.

You're welcome.

[via Nintendo.co.jp]


LAUNCH GALLERY (4 IMAGES)
Photo Photo Photo Photo
 

Continue: More Wiiware stories





prev next

42 comments | showing # 1 to 42

Wedge's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 23:20
Wedge
I don't... what... chest harness???
Grimspoon's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 23:33
Grimspoon
"I'm a lady! That's what I am, a lady!"
timtheterrible's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 23:35
timtheterrible
it looks like that guy's ass swallowed a lemon in the last pic.
runtheplacered's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 23:39
runtheplacered
LOL I wouldn't use a chest harness if it were ONLY 7 inches long. I mean come on, what do I look like here?

Also I would imagine one of the rooms in hell would be having to go through the shame of hugging your grandmother while wearing one of those.
talon84's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 23:41
talon84
The chest harness is worse than what Jim posted last week. At least the one Jim posted was in good taste.
D-503's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 23:41
D-503
That man at the top there isn't very sexy. Just kinda muscle-y. After studying his junk in those quasi-undies... I feel really good about myself.
Klipsched's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 23:50
Klipsched
@runtheplacered
"Also I would imagine one of the rooms in hell would be having to go through the shame of hugging your grandmother while wearing one of those."

Priceless...
Monodi's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 23:58
Monodi
just who are you, Holmes?
Infinitys End's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 00:08
Infinitys End
This will probably be the next Wii VC game I buy.
grafkhun's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 00:12
grafkhun
My katakana may be rusty, but that spells 'dorakyola' as in Dracula, I think. But I don't know the kanji at the end, anyone know it? do tell, if you do.

Also, I'm looking forward to this rebirth game!
Mushman's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 00:12
Mushman
lolwut@chestharness

@D-503

That's the magic of steroids!!! I could be wrong though, he might just have bad penis genes, I work out but don't go anywhere near the stuff 'pros' use, or people like him. Being in shape is good enough for me.
GohanGVO's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 00:40
GohanGVO
Dan CiTi's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 00:52
Dan CiTi
That black dood in the header should be Urien from SFIII for Halloween.
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 01:06
AgentMOO
Someone needs to do a Nothing is Sacred MM on the chest harness.
Kris's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 01:07
Kris
Red Ranger :(
Spykron's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 02:22
Spykron
this screen shot idea is a revolution. BEAR WITNESS!!!
Emrah's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 03:34
Emrah
Trying to be politically correct, but gay and women followers of destructoid aren't many, there's male predominancy so MOAR WOMEN pls.
Harris Hatsworth's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 03:45
Harris Hatsworth
Ahahaha! Love the inclusion of the Red Power Ranger. Also, I cans has moar pics of the girl in the blue panties on the counter? I would like to make her mai waifu.
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 06:03
Jonathan Holmes
Food The Lord of the Rings Trilogy Christian Bale?
atastysammich's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 06:47
atastysammich
Hell yeah! I'm always up for some Anna Ohura. Castlevania's nice too, I guess.
n0brein's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 08:14
n0brein
¬_¬
oh journalism...
CrocBox's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 10:03
CrocBox
Who doesn't enjoy making other horny? :P
Drack48's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 10:13
Drack48
the game looks cheap and rushed like contra rebirth..sigh
Mr Kite's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 10:27
Mr Kite
It cannot be unseen!
Projectexodus's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 10:35
Projectexodus
I cant save any of the pictures because THERE'S A PENIS ON THEM!
Solgrim's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 10:54
Solgrim
I just respect the Aki Hoshino love that has been aparant.
LoopholeJumper's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 12:12
LoopholeJumper
those japanese girls are wonderful.

all the other pics are horrendous.

oh, and I guess Castlevania Rebirth looks OK as well...
readbigwordsisgood's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 12:28
readbigwordsisgood
Funny stuff. Very retarded.
Nitex's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 14:03
Nitex
I didn't even think that giant puddle of muscle was a real dude at first. Swore it was just some bronzed statue of some ridiculous pose.
aZZmodan's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 15:07
aZZmodan
Chest Harness... A Cock on a Chest Harness... Wait, what...!? Errr.... Ahem... Ok... Hmmm... How the fuck does something like this work... Who the fuck thinks of stuff like that...? He should get a fucking metal!!!
aZZmodan's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 15:07
aZZmodan
Also, who's the girl on the header pic...? :D
Occams electric toothbrush's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 15:26
Occams electric toothbrush
This post smells like crotch.
Nicojay2's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 17:04
Nicojay2
Everyone reveals their true nature eventually.

Behold, Jonathon Holmes.
Kyousuke Nanbu's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 17:42
Kyousuke Nanbu
33 comments and only one actually actually mentioned the game.

Why don't you guys just change the name to destructoidchan.org and get it over with.
TJF588's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 20:35
TJF588
HOLY CRAP THAT ASS!

There's, there's just no way to talk about a game when an impossible ass is/has been on the screen. That thing looks like a pecan/walnut/not-what-a-human-butt-ought-to-look-like!
heyricochet's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 21:33
heyricochet
Whos the girl on the opposite side of Mr Chest Harness?
Citizensnips's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/26/2009 04:14
Citizensnips
Citizensnips's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/26/2009 04:15
Citizensnips
Who is the girl on the header page? The one with her leg almost touching her head??
She is Purddddy...:)
Alter's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/26/2009 10:43
Alter
@grafkhun: It says Dorakyura densetsu, the legend of Dracula.
Gryzor's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/26/2009 13:20
Gryzor
IMO the Rebirth series has been amazing so far. Konami pulls what easily would have been a 16-bit blockbuster back in the day out of their magical game making time vortex and surprise, surprise....people still bitch. -_-

Hurray for gratitude, guys. Shit like that just makes me not want to be a "gamer" anymore.


Anyways, I think I'm looking forward to this more than any big retail releases coming up.
Citizensnips's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/27/2009 00:55
Citizensnips
So no one knows the name of the girl in the header image..old Rollerblade to head?
Damn, the desktop that could have been ..minus gigantor and the red thong of scariness of course
lovemana23's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/28/2009 19:00
lovemana23
Hahaha, the guy doing a handstand.......and timtheterrible, I lol`d. It is true: the last guys sphincter has been assaulted by citrus juices.

The game looks faily cool - but why not just make a decent new 2D `vania? Oh whatever.

Good post. A micro-melting pot of retarded muscle-man induced humour, boner coaxing asian gals and Castlevania. Good work mr. Holmes, you win.
prev next

Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

Comments policy

Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?

Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!

 
New on Destructoid.TV play all videos

Loading
Loading Destructoid Videos

    Win this!
    Dive in! meetup+play for a chance to win a PC

    Dtoid Twitter    Got news?   tips@destructoid.com

    Reviews & Previews
    Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles review
    Left 4 Dead 2 review
    Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Reflex review
    Arkedo Series - 02 SWAP! review
    EyePet review
    more reviews
    Chugging along with Legend of Zelda Spirit Tracks
    Online Lessons 101 Monster Slaying in Monster Hunter Tri
    Hooking onto, under and above Just Cause 2
    PS3's 256-player MAG
    Rooms The Main Building
    more previews


    - The Dtoid Army is 50650 strong -

    Showing Cblogs with 3+ faps   show all

    Call for entries: do the wrong thing
    New to Dtoid? Read the survival guide




     Originals
    Chad Concelmo: The Memory Card .76: Brotherly love





















    More Destructoid Originals



     Popular now more






















    Team Destructoid   tips@destructoid.com
    Nick Chester
    Editor-in-Chief    		 Niero
    Founder, publisher
    Jim Sterling
    Reviews Editor    		 Hamza Aziz
    Community Manager
    Dale North
    News Editor    		 Rey Gutierrez
    Video editor & director
    Anthony Burch
    Features Editor    		 Colette Bennett
    Tom Fronczak Brad Nicholson
    Ashley Davis Ben Perlee
    Conrad
    Zimmerman    		 Chad Concelmo
    Jonathan Holmes Jonathan Ross
    Brad Rice Jordan Devore
    Will Maddock Matthew Razak
    Dyson Joseph Leray
    Topher Cantler Samit Sarkar
         
      Dexter
    Adam Dork
    Daniel Lingen
    Hollie Bennett
         		Joe Burling
    Mikey
    Stella Wong
    Josh Tolentino




     

     
      get involved

    register or login
    post a blog
    post a forum
    enter a contest
    contribute a news tip
    suggest a feature
    be a guest editor
    		 support

    new member's guide
    login assistance
    tech support
    report abuse
    email our editors
    read our dev blog
    nuclear crisis?
    		 keep in touch

    RSS feed
    Twitter
    Facebook
    Myspace
    Flickr
    Game nights
    Meetup+play online     		seriously

    about Destructoid
    advertising
    terms of use
    privacy policy
    jobs at MM
    buy our crap     		our network

    Tomopop
    Japanator
    Despingation?



    Destructoid is an independently-run publication forged by our love of video games and the gaming community's need of accountable enthusiast press
    living the dream since March 16, 2006