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I guess Bon Jovi wasn't enough, as Square-Enix has just started with another weird way to promote Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearers. This time it involves a moogle with maracas and party hat talking to a cutey girl bomb-balloon about... stuff. These two are your hosts for The Theater Bearers; a straight-to-YouTube video series set to hype the crowd for The Crystal Bearers' upcoming November release in Japan. 

The videos are all in Japanese, so I'll do my best to translate for you. The first vid focuses on the game's hero, Layle, and how much ass he kicks. The second is about Layle's two sidekicks; one male, one female, both sexy. The third shows Layle's psychic powers and ethical dilemmas that come along with them in greater detail. Will you use you abilities to pickpocket old ladies, or fix up the town by smashing gigantic balls against each other? It's up to you to decide, say the little pink moogle and the ditsy, girly bomb.

But who cares about all that? All I'm thinking about now is how awesome it would be for this new flat moogle-guy to grab a microphone hat and start rapping about toilets. The videogame world needs more paper-thin rapping heroes, and these guys look like they could do the job.

OK, I'm gonna go now, before I start crying about how disappointing Major Minor's Majestic March was and how badly I want a new Parappa/Lammy game. While I'm gone, hit the jump for the other two videos in The Theater Bearers series, plus a couple of bonus vids that show how lethal "flying V" guitars and the milk of giant hamsters can be.

[via Gonintendo]

 

 








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Jonathan Holmes is the most lovable Associate Editor on Destructoid. Catch him on videos, original editorials, and on back episodes of the Destructoid Show and MTV's Road Rules. Jonathan is a retro gamer's gamer. Likes Mega Man 2, Resident Evil, Katamari Damacy, Bit.Trip, Metal Slug 3 Meet the rest of the team



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5 comments | showing # 1 to 5
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CrocBox's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/18/2009 07:40
CrocBox
lol wtf did I just watch? Other than game footage that is.
Gilgamesh1317's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/18/2009 11:08
Gilgamesh1317
I want this game more and more with every passing day. 2010 cannot come soon enough.
Modest Thunder's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/18/2009 11:13
Modest Thunder
The only thing we can know for sure is that udders will now be listed as deadly weapons alongside sporks and FEMA.
Cowboy TTop's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/18/2009 13:40
Cowboy TTop
I want this game more than any FF game right now, just a shame I don't have a Wii yet. Perhaps this might push me to get one. Its also a shame that many people will miss this, because its on Wii.

Damn you Square Enix. This is the kind of stuff I've wanted from FF for freakin years. I hope that it does well, and its good to see these videos showing more of it off.
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/18/2009 21:28
Jonathan Holmes
@ Cowboy- I'm thinking the game wont sell too well.

I still can't get over that Kwanzaa release date.
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