On President's Day, it's our duty as bloggers to supply the unwashed, malnourished Kmart-lovin' masses of America with reminders of awesome, fictional Presidents in games. I mean, it's not like I get to take the day off, so what the heck else am I going to write about?
A Google search and office poll later, it became very apparent to me that most videogame presidents aren't ones anyone would want in office, in real life. Nonetheless, there are a few men, machine, and feline presidents that our current leader could learn some valuable lessons from.
Join me on this historic trek through great presidential moments in virtual history.
1988 - President Ronnie rewards good work with fast food (Bad Dudes)
Why reward military service with a historic statue, when you can give two hardworking members of the Secret Service a burger instead? This is the difference between the Japanese and English ending of Bad Dudes; it's also the difference between a good and a great president.
1993 - President Clinton is on fire (NBA Jam)
There are many critics who are quick to point out Clinton's lackluster sax playing -- let's just say he's no Kenny G; man, does that guy know how to suck and blow -- and his inability to keep booty calls on the DL, but no one can deny his ability to shoot some hoops in NBA Jam.
1998 - President Richardson puts "Near-humans" in their place (Fallout 2)
Being president in the 2020s isn't easy, especially when there are asshole mutants with massive Gatling guns roaming the country. In such dark and dry times, America needs a president that isn't afraid to commit acts of genocide and nuclear warfare which is why President Richardson -- wooden, emotionless face and all -- continues to inspire.
2001 - President Mr. President shows that inaction is sometimes the best action (Sonic Adventures 2)
In the face of great tumult and terrorism, Mr. President decides to relax in his limo and let a little blue hedgehog do the heavy lifting. If only our current president could learn a thing or two from him.
2004 - President Visari gives a rousing speech (Killzone)
Visari doesn't appear in the first Killzone, but his presence in the game's introductory cinematic lingers on. Such is the power of a great presidential speech that inspires the people to rise up and senselessly murder.
2004 - President Wilson takes matters into his own hands (Metal Wolf Chaos)
So many Presidents enter office complaining about the problems that the past president left, only to then turn around and burden the next president with their own unfinished issues. Well, Wilson pilots a freaking mech. So he's not going to take shit from either end. He's going to handle it and give foreign adversaries his "flame of justice."
2008 - President Ackerman works with canine allies toward common goal (Command & Conquer 3)
In a progressive stance, Ackerman moves the national dialog from being "for or against illegal immigration" to "for or against attack dogs handling illegal immigration." Resourceful, fair, and firm.
2009 - President Cat shows that great presidents shouldn't be labeled by species (Sukeban Shachou Rena)
Only in Japan can the American dream be truly realized.
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ChrisHannard Fallout 4 wouldn't be Fallout with ridiculous glitches and shenanigans. Here are a few I've run into - [youtube]https://youtu.be/qgYAXsDq4Uw[/youtube]StriderHoang I've never earnestly went drinking before so it's cool to know I'm the slow, sleepy, impaired type.The Dyslexic Laywer Got to admit I didn't expect to find a mewtwo amiibo at my bookstore of all places...Mike Martin My cousin found out I slept with his girlfriend and is pissed. Understandable. I am totally sick of the angry phone calls though. It reminds me so much of playing Call of Duty online. The screaming 11 year olds suck on there too. OverlordZetta Huh. Apparently even Japan has a Black Friday sale going on on PSN right now.Lawman Yes, Resident Evil: Revelations 2, I know that somebody has 2,625 more medallions than me. No, Resident Evil: Revelations 2, I don't really care.Dr Mel This fucking Bloodborne DLC, jesus. I'm on new game+, about level 90, and shit just tears my dick off. I don't know if I want to start another guy just to avoid NG+ and level him up, etc. sigh....Shinta Wii U, top selling black friday item on target.com. Take that you anti-Wii U people.
http://www.ign.com/articles/2015/11/27/wii-u-helps-drive-targets-biggest-online-shopping-day-ever?utm_source=IGN%20hub%20page&utm_medium=IGN%20(front%20page)&utm_contenCoilWhine I am pretty hyped for when I get a laptop because I'll be able to have a good enough connection to stream XbOne/soon PS4 games to it along with natively rendered Steam games. Hype!Avoclefo Got a PS4 that came with SW Battlefront this week, and planning on picking up the FFX/X-2 remake. Hype is through the roof, especially for FFX. If I were to get one other game, what should it be?Niero Desu Did a google maps search around my parents house for bars and there isn't one in like 25 miles, so I picked up an Intel compute stick and South Park: Stick of Truth on Steam. That's more or less the drunken screaming I'm in the mood for at about the cost.OrochiLeona Do you ever have that moment of clarity when talking to someone and suddenly realising: You're just a skull, and they're just a skull, with fucking eyeballs and a sac of skin being the only comparative difference between you visually? ..just me then?Nathan D After quitting for two days out of frustration, I beat Ludwig on my first try of the night. I'm on cloud fucking nine right now. Pixie The Fairy When I did my retail shift today, we were moving more Smash/Splat Wii U bundles and the Gears/Rare Replay/Ori XB1 bundles than Uncharted and Battlefront PS4s. I think Nintendo and MS have better value on their side this holiday. Sony got lazy.Confuseddalek I found this weird game called Samurai Heroes for 8 dollars today. Its not bad.Solar Pony Django Got Deadpool, Arkham Asylum and BioShock 1 and 2 all for 30$. Not to bad for going Black Friday shopping late.RadicalYoseph If you haven't played Tales from the Borderlands yet, GO BUY IT! By far the funniest game I have ever played, and the characters and narrative are incredibly well written. Very few memes unlike BL2 by the way.James Internet Ego Played all of Life is Strange today in one sitting. Bloody hell. You should all play it. Only game this year to make me cry. Bravo developers. Possibly the most valuable thing I've ever bought for £10.Gamemaniac3434 Last night, got farther than ever in Wasteland 2. This is my third playthrough-once thru beta, once through the orig version, now on Directors cut. Worth the restart, and it speaks highly of the game that I like it enough to do this. DAMONTA HERE I COME!KeithTheGeek GUYS HELP I KEEP BUYING MORE AMIIBO.
Today it was Little Mac, since he went back up on Gamestop's website. I probably would have gotten Captain Falcon as well if I wasn't already running a little short on cash.