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[Cease and Desist] is coming to the Xbox 360! [Updated for Internet Matlockery] - Destructoid

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[Cease and Desist] is coming to the Xbox 360! [Updated for Internet Matlockery]


6:30 PM on 05.28.2007
[Cease and Desist] is coming to the Xbox 360! [Updated for Internet Matlockery] photo



I have been waiting for many months to finally say this, and today is the day. [Cease and Desist] will not be a [Rhymes with "Bony"] exclusive. It has been confirmed that it will make its way to the [Another console] in 2008.

There is no true date set for the release at this point, but November of 2008 has been mentioned. This is not set in stone as [Who knew legal departments worked on holidays, and that a game with no embargo, could make them work so fast

If one were really smart they could search around and find contracts that bind, lets say, a game developer and publisher, to another company that makes consoles. If you were lucky, you might notice that the contract had a clearly stated term of exclusivity. If I were a betting man, I would guess that term to be more than 364 days and less than 367. (Precaution for Leap year) I am just guessing this of course. I assume that companies make contracts like this and they have to become public record when financial transactions are involved. Call me crazy, but I would bet that you could find out things by checking this.

I also need to state that the phone conversation I had discussing, let's say, Petal Rear Squalid Door apparently didn't actually happen. I thought that it did but other people seem to be telling me different.

[Editor's note: The opinions expressed about [another company] and the [Console they make] belong to Ron Workman and Ron Workman only. He's a loose cannon and a PR nightmare.]

Dear Internet Matlocks,

You cracked the case; good work. I understand that going to every [Logging] industry event, [----edited----], speaking to someone at [insert company here] and knowing this has been in the works for months, could not possibly make me as qualified as the forum post you made from your

A. Dorm room

B. Mom's basement

C. Cell block

2
We all know that [another company] would never give up an exclusive. I mean what's next? [insert 3 games that were lost and we were lied to about] Nooo waaay! They would never lose an exclusive. Every [3 letters] game was a [another company] exclusive at one point. I can't imagine them coming out with [3 letters] on another console. I mean ... they have never done that have they?

Next time I am with [Peter Parker], [Madonna], or [Phil Collins] in person, I will be sure to remind them to approve things through you, Internet Matlocks, before they make any decisions.

2 things:

#1 The "Snake Tales" was a joke BTW.

#2 I decided to be nice and respectfully make changes to this post. I did refuse to pull it completely because our community is more important to me. Hypothetically, this would be my first lawsuit of 2007. I was hoping to make it a full year but it looks bleak. I hope you enjoyed it.

Hugs and Kisses,

Greybush™

[Cease and Desist] is coming to the Xbox 360! [Updated for Internet Matlockery] photo





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