Quantcast
Maybe you don't care, but I have dibs on Axton - Destructoid




Game database:   #ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ         ALL     Xbox One     PS4     360     PS3     WiiU     Wii     PC     3DS     DS     PS Vita     PSP     iOS     Android


Maybe you don't care, but I have dibs on Axton


1:30 PM on 09.18.2012
Maybe you don't care, but I have dibs on Axton photo



Oh, you kids, trotting around Borderlands 2 with your fancy powers, skintight leather and careless akimbo stances. Sure, it looks cool, but that's not going to do you a whole lot of good when you're lying in a last stand, looking like a chump. 

Which is why I have dibs on Axton.

He's a bit on the boring side

For some, familiarity breeds contempt. Not me. I like the comfortable, and it doesn't get easier than transitioning from Roland in Borderlands to Axton in Borderlands 2. Sure, Axton's skill tree seems a little more aggressive, but he's an ex-military commando who uses a turret and I've already done that once.

I expect the second time to be like putting on that old pair of sneakers you discover in your closet. You may eventually regret the decision, as reactivated spores long dormant in the shoes cause an itching and burning sensation, but at least it's a more appealing spot for that kind of discomfort than I wager you'd get from cozying up to Maya.

He's nearly worthless.

All of the Vault Hunters we have to choose from are criminals, fugitives with bounties on their heads for crimes that they almost certainly committed. Axton, for example, is accused of "War Crimes," which sounds awesome, but those pantywaists who believe in things like the Geneva Convention probably trumped that charge up. How else can you explain that the reward for Axton's capture is less than one tenth that which you would get for capturing Salvador and less than one *percent* of what they want for that blue-haired skank, Maya. What did he do? Steal candy from a diplomat's baby?

It doesn't bother me one bit that Axton's reward is less than you'd offer for a lost pet on Pandora. It's an advantage, since any bandit with a brain is going to look at the cost/benefit analysis of trying to take me down versus marching Zer0's gimp-masked head down main street on his own katana, showered in a tickertape parade of cold, hard cash, and try to kill that ninja. Serves him right, the show-off.

We think the same.

I feel a kinship with Axton because I believe that he and I take a similar approach to problem solving. When dealing with a chronic problem, the first thing I do is try to find a reliable solution to that problem which can be repeated whenever it crops up. The next thing I do is try and find a way to automate as much of that solution as possible.

Axton's recurring issue is a seemingly limitless supply of insane bandits trying to kill him and the solution is to shoot them in the soft bits and make them die. But where the other Vault Hunters are simply content to directly kill everything which winds up in their field of vision, Axton can't be arsed to do all the dirty work himself. It's beneath him. That's why he built a machine to do it, allowing him to toss that turret out there and turn his attentions elsewhere. Maybe cruise the boulevard for a bit, take in a show, something like that.

He has better things to do, really.






Comments not appearing? Anti-virus apps like Avast or some browser extensions can cause this.
Easy fix: Add   [*].disqus.com   to your software's white list. Tada! Happy comments time again.

Did you know? You can now get daily or weekly email notifications when humans reply to your comments.







Destructoid Originals

9:00 AM on 10.23.2014
Very Quick Tips: Civilization: Beyond Earth

Civilization: Beyond Earth is fantastic, but even though it does a lot through tutorial popups, missions, and the Civilopedia to help new players, it can still be daunting. With several new systems in place, even series veter...more



3:30 PM on 10.22.2014
Slowpoke: A short story

It was morning. Slowpoke's eyes casually fluttered open, as bit by bit the creature came to the realization it had survived another night. Costively, Slowpoke began mulling over what to do with its day. This went on for some ...more



3:00 PM on 10.22.2014
We wanted to play 'Ninja Mystery,' the game inside 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand

Max and I are really getting goofy on Bacardi and Vitamin Water in this portion of our live playthrough of 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand. We discover an awesome arcade cabinet called Ninja Mystery in the game. We also talk abou...more



View all Destructoid Originals






Back to Top




All content is yours to recycle through our Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing requiring attribution. Our communities are obsessed with videoGames, movies, anime, and toys.

Living the dream since March 16, 2006

Advertising on destructoid is available: Please contact them to learn more