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Maxim's 'girls of Dragon Age' gallery arouses males photo

[It has come to my attention that the original incarnation of this story has angered some (not all of you are tools!) of the Reddit community for being too immature and not serious enough. Since we don't want to upset thirty-year-old journalism fans (i.e, people who don't normally read us anyway), we have decided to re-write the story in the serious and journalistic tone that it truly deserves. Apparently I am a journalist.]

Maxim is a monthly publication aimed toward young males across America and the United Kingdom. The magazine has an official Web site. A Web site is a collection of pages found on the Internet. This particular collection of pages contains an exclusive set of photographs that show the real-life inspirations behind several characters in the upcoming BioWare RPG (role playing game) Dragon Age: Origins

The basic premise of Maxim's gallery is that the females are attractive to the target demographic of heterosexual young males, and that this should be celebrated. If you are a heterosexual male, you may feel physically and emotionally stimulated while looking at the images. That's normal. A state of heightened arousal when viewing attractive members of the opposite sex is a healthy reaction. One might like to state one's desire to perform an act of coitus with the females rendered. Again, this is a natural impulse. 

If you might permit me a personal editorial opinion for a moment, my favorite of the females is a lady who has styled herself "Alleykatze," a name that I suspect may not have been awarded her at birth. I shall of course follow up with Maxim's public relations staff to verify that the name is indeed a pseudonym, as my reporter's instinct suggests. I prefer Alleykatze because her physical appearance possesses a variety of traits that I find sexually appealing. If I had the opportunity, I would like very much to court her.

Dragon Age: Origins is a videogame for the PC, Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. It will be released on November 3, 2009, published by Electronic Arts. In other news, Citizen Kane.

 

 

[Publishers's note: This statement is from Jim, as Destructoid.com issued a statement in the original Reddit comment complaints. For the record, Nick (our editor) or I (founding chump) may not agree with everything Jim publishes, but we support our guys to the death and are proud to be Jim's faptastic publisher. We support a lot of different voices on Dtoid. To us that mix is more important than regulating a milder one as to not ruffle conservative panties. In summation, leave Britney alone! She is a person!  PS. If the Reddit complaint guy knew what community up-voting system is called he'd have kittens. Sexy kittens. -Niero]


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144 comments | showing # 1 to 50

Magnalon's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:02
Magnalon
In before reddit shitstorm.
Infinitys End's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:05
Infinitys End
It's the Jim Sterling NEWS ARTICLE WHAT I'VE DONE.
Buga's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:05
Buga
jim win!
Log1c's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:07
Log1c
Go Digg!

(take that reddit)
JTHomeslice's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:08
JTHomeslice
Journalism.
Gyrael's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:09
Gyrael
Now that is some serious journalism.
SaintRising's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:09
SaintRising
Best serious article ever.
dj-anon's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:11
dj-anon
It's obvious that the ones complaining are not sexually active.
Grandmas Boy's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:12
Grandmas Boy
What the fuck is reddit? Apparently, they hate Jim Sterling.
dwolfwood's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:15
dwolfwood
I got some friends of reddit, there's some funny stuff on there. Totally contradictory to the way these guys are being.
ChronosWing's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:16
ChronosWing
This was more funny than the original article. 11/10 journalisms!
Zac Bentz's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:19
Zac Bentz
Reddit is what the frog at the library says.
Bernie Burns's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:20
Bernie Burns
A simple go eff yourself reddit would have sufficed as well.
TheChemist's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:20
TheChemist
People need to get over themselves. If you don't like it don't read it. Jim, keep doing what you do, you're always good for a laugh. I know you don't need my comment to encourage you to keep it up, but I am behind your writing 100%. Also I totally agree with ChronosWing.
Sinnum's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:21
Sinnum
I was just hit by journalism!
ParaParaKing's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:21
ParaParaKing
I have lost all respect for Bioware for doing a stupid "Hey, look tits!" campaign.
brimtastic's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:21
brimtastic
May I be the first to say:

DR EGG's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:27
DR EGG
I can't be the only person that totally agrees with Supertoned. Jim, your articles are a total put-off to anyone who doesn't agree with your brand of humor. By all means, keep doing what you're doing, just know that you're a dividing force in Dtoid's audience.
Bernie Burns's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:27
Bernie Burns
What's wrong with hey, look tits? Its much better than hey look, dongs! At least in my book.
Magnalon's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:28
Magnalon
@ParaParaKing
This is probably EA's doing, dude; either them, or the PR agency hired to publicize Dragon Age.

Bioware has NOTHING to do with it.
CrocBox's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:30
CrocBox
JOURNALISM! lol fuck reddit
Kim Fidler's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:32
Kim Fidler
I have just been slapped by Journalism's cock
WAIW's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:33
WAIW
I love Mr. Sterling not only because he's funny, but because of how people get so riled up over him. This article, for example, was not really funny. The hundreds of posts about the original are.
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:34
Jim Sterling
DR EGG: That's like saying "Olive Garden is aq total put-off for people who don't like Italian food." I mean, really, what's the point there? I won't be changing my sense of humor, Niero doesn't want me to change my sense of humor, and from the looks of my performance stats, most of our readers don't want me to change my humor.

Saying that my style of writing repels people who don't like my style of writing just seems so very, very pointless.
EternalDeathSlayer's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:34
EternalDeathSlayer
Like one of the reddit commenters mentioned, our mascot is a green robot with red eyes.

What the fuck do these people expect? Pulitzer Prize winning journalism?
JohnnyJustice's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:38
JohnnyJustice
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJnCZOw3igY
nukka jdav's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:39
nukka jdav
This whole thing is just too great.

The internet at its best people, where true subjectivity apparently does not exist.

On another note: Jim, when I am a thirty-something year old gamer, you can tell me anything is faptastic, anytime, and I'll read it fapaciously.
CitizenErased's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:41
CitizenErased
Geraldo Beedog would be proud.

FUCK YES!
JOURNALISM!!!
JohnnyJustice's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:41
JohnnyJustice
Oh yeah, also, journalism is a joke. I've never heard of this Reddit fellow, but he seems like an idiot.

If he wants journalism, maybe he should check out some of the right-or-left leaning news stations (Fox, NBC) and see how they portray the video game industry. How's that for mature journalism?
What an idiot.
ParaParaKing's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:46
ParaParaKing
@Magnalon: Do you have any proof for Bioware having NOTHING to do with this?
John B's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:46
John B
Reddit can fuck off.
Electrium's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:46
Electrium
What the hell was that guy thinking for taking Destructoid seriously? It's a freakin' blog, one look at the site will tell you it's not meant to be taken seriously! As I look to the right sidebar with popular stories, I see a dog with a wig photoshopped on it, a kangaroo, and a guy eating a burger biggger than his head. JOURNALISM

I don't think that guy deserved this level of attention...but I guess it's just further evidence that you don't belong here if you're looking for CNN-"quality" news.
JohnnyJustice's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:47
JohnnyJustice
lol reddit fellow... I'm retarded.
ZombiePlatypus's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:48
ZombiePlatypus
They shall come to fear Dtoid's JOURNALISM.
sabiansix's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:49
sabiansix
I think the "redditors" were more or less annoyed with the term "faptastic" in the header, not to mention that Jim has a knack for putting pics in his article that be construed as NSFW, for which even his coworkers call him out on.

or maybe not...
suit's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:50
suit
Jim, it's like you're laughing through the pain. Good for you...Good for you!


No, seriously. If you change anything about your writing I might have to rape you.
Reddit seems to mistake humor for a lack of eloquence and/or intelligence - which says it all.


+Tip o' the hat for quality journalism ol' sport
Mikebot 3000's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 10:51
Mikebot 3000
Loved it
Chin35char's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 11:00
Chin35char
Haha journalism... lol reddit, never even heard of that website
Theo Chiu's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 11:04
Theo Chiu
A witty and meaningful commentary that I quite fancy. Pip pip Ol'chap
Gyrael's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 11:04
Gyrael
@ParaParaKing
There's no solid proof, but it's definitely not something Bioware would do.
Link39's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 11:07
Link39
So what if a bunch of pompous assholes at some crap gaming site don't like Jim's writing style? They don't have to read it, they can just keep enjoying that stick shoved firmly up their ass from up on their high horse. There's this little trick I learned in grade school-if you don't like something, GO DO SOMETHING ELSE. If I didn't think Jim was funny, I wouldn't read his posts for a laugh. I happen to enjoy his(and what reddit refers to as "sophomoric" humor that is kinda prevalent on this site) sense of humor, so I read it. But I don't enjoy getting my news from some self righteous megalomaniac with a keyboard, so I stick with destructoid, where the opinions are real, and the people are characters.

We even have our own personalities and loyal members at destructoid. What the fuck do YOU have, reddit?
zanthox's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 11:13
zanthox
Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhh!~!!!!!~~!~~~~!!~! I get it now. It is a pornographes.
Judo Porkchop's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 11:15
Judo Porkchop
Jim Sterling you crack me up
Death by Yeti's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 11:18
Death by Yeti
The internet is only for serious business
please leave the internet Jim Sterling
Geraldo Beedog's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 11:20
Geraldo Beedog
What is this tripe?
iEro-Sennin's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 11:21
iEro-Sennin
Jim Serling - he's covered wars.
GoldenGamerXero's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 11:23
GoldenGamerXero
I took their opinion seriously till I saw that Neiro was downvoted for explaining to them that Destructoid is in fact a bolg and isn't supposed to be taken seriously. Quite frankly I prefer the immaturity of Destructoid a hell of a lot more than the raging elitism on other sites.
Daraku Tenshi's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 11:29
Daraku Tenshi
So "journalists" say coitus rather than sex? Or am I not getting why people were upset? At 30yrs old, don't you have other things to worry about? More important things even? Being old sucks huh?
Topher Cantler's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2009 11:30
Topher Cantler
As a 30-something Male, I would like to say:

Titties boobies vagoos boobies titties vaginas boobies titties.
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