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Matlockery: That Zelda Wii broad is a sword? Worst pun ever? photo

Right now I'm knee-deep in getting another E3 video edited, so I really shouldn't be posting this, but it's just too fun to pass up.

Remember that artwork for the next Wii Zelda game that Miyamoto teased us with last week at E3? Well, thanks to a rather obvious hint from Miyamoto dropped at the star of this IGN video interview, and the already discussed resemblance the woman shares with Link's most famous weapon, we can now safely assume that weird looking chick in the artwork really is a sword, probably the master sword. 

Miyamoto has already told us that the next Wii Zelda would use motion plus infused power for one-to-one sword control. How the hell is that going to work when your sword is a full grown woman? Is the next home console Zelda game really going to feature Link picking up a sword shaped lady with one hand and beating people upside the head with her?

If so, will that be awesome enough to get you Zelda-haters to buy a Wii?








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Jonathan Holmes is the most lovable Associate Editor on Destructoid. Catch him on videos, original editorials, and on back episodes of the Destructoid Show and MTV's Road Rules. Jonathan is a retro gamer's gamer. Likes Mega Man 2, Resident Evil, Katamari Damacy, Bit.Trip, Metal Slug 3 Meet the rest of the team



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40 comments | showing # 1 to 40
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Smuckers's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2009 22:41
Smuckers
No, dear sir, no, it would not.
covah's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2009 22:42
covah
to me, it makes more sense if her head is the the grip of the hilt, her dress as the guard, then the jewel is in place and her legs are the blade.
mrplow8's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2009 22:44
mrplow8
She probably turns into a sword or something. I doubt she looks like that while she's used as a sword.
Tubatic's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2009 22:44
Tubatic
How's about 1:1 SHIELD control?
manasteel88's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2009 22:45
manasteel88
Wow...this image was shown in the 4th comment of the blog post you had linked to. 4 days old Sherlock Holmes.
manasteel88's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2009 22:48
manasteel88
also my matlockery says she plays the role of Midna or Navi by offering advice to Link in his journey.
Naim Master's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2009 22:49
Naim Master
Well , IMO since a Zelda with WiiMotion plus would have a bigger focus on the awesome 1:1 sword use , they decided to make her a living breathing character (kinda like a Navi), since the player would spend so much time with it they might very well make it a full character ...Also , any excuse to NOT use Navi is welcome ...
Naim Master's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2009 22:51
Naim Master
@tubatic
REMEMBER , YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST : Nintendo's E3 2010 : Nunchuk Plus
Danmartigan's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2009 22:53
Danmartigan
I went out of my way to play the gamecube version of TP to avoid those fucking motion controls, and I fear I may not be so lucky next time. Hopefully they are smart enough to at least remove the annoying FAIRY CURSOR W/ SOUND this time, eh? ... eh? Bleh.
JohnnyJustice's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2009 23:01
JohnnyJustice
I don't think that's a pun so much as it's a literal personification- which I find interesting. In Lord of the Rings, (if anyone here has actually READ the books)- most characters give names to their swords, and blades are treated like living things. (Sting, etc.)
I think a literal personification could act as an interesting plot device.
Also, beating goblins with a woman sounds like fun.
Trowble's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2009 23:01
Trowble
So Link will be fisting his sword with 1:1 precision?
icarus's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2009 23:07
icarus
Am I the only one who thinks the hilt (blue box) should be pointing to her cloak and the grey and yellow boxes are flipped? The ripple pattern looks the same on the hilt and the cloak and if you flip the yellow (end of the handle --> the head of the girl and tip of the sword --> her legs), then it would go in order, which makes more sense.
Puppy Licks's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2009 23:09
Puppy Licks
You gotta hand it to Miyamoto, he just can't get a surprise announcement right.
Last year he blurted out Pikmin, and now this. At least he didn't blab about Metroid, that was a very nice surprise. Hell, the surprise announcements is why I love E3.
Milestailsprowe's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2009 23:10
Milestailsprowe
Fucking called it. It was obivous when he didnt have a swoed in his hand but a sheild in the other. She looks to have metal skin to.
whatisdelicious's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2009 23:14
whatisdelicious
@Danmartigan: As someone who played the Wii version, I would just like to validate everything you said about the Wii version of TP. Sword controls were dumb, wolf controls were worse. It just devolved into twitching your hand until your enemies die. And Navi as the cursor? For sixty long fucking hours? AWFUL. Drove me mad. Only thing good from motion controls was free-aiming ranged weapons, but I would easily give that up.
Ballistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2009 23:27
Ballistic
No, no it's not the worst pun ever, but it's close. If you want to find the worst pun ever, take a look at this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNaDZIrxh-0
Monodi's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2009 23:28
Monodi
Welcome to last week, Holmes.
JynxShot's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2009 23:34
JynxShot
As long as I can play with a classic controller...
Brian Szabelski's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/10/2009 23:36
Brian Szabelski
Took you guys this long to post this? XD
Excel-2011's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/11/2009 00:12
Excel-2011
I don't think so.
WarZombie's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/11/2009 00:18
WarZombie
Knowing Nintendo, they wouldn't just leave this to "Your Broad Sword is a chick." There would definitely be a specific game play element to this. Maybe the chick is playable? That's just my guess.
Maurice Tan's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/11/2009 00:43
Maurice Tan
I still prefer an Ostrich hammer...
pedrovay2003's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/11/2009 01:02
pedrovay2003
I second Tubatic. I was fine with the controls in TP for the Wii, but man, trying to jab with the shield SUCKED. I wish the MotionPlus would add more movement to the Nunchuk when plugged in.
Corican's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/11/2009 01:16
Corican
I have sold my Wii, but I will almost certainly buy a new one just to play this game. I am a sucker for Zelda games.
The Incredible Edible Egg's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/11/2009 01:30
The Incredible Edible Egg
Hurst pun ever, killed me a little...
StriderS's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/11/2009 01:43
StriderS
I'm still wondering why she necessary has to be a girl at all. I mean, the character does look feminine, but so does Link. When I first saw Midna's face, I thought she was a dude.

Not that I think she's guy, I'm just saying.
Pepillou2's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/11/2009 02:49
Pepillou2
Habeeb it!
Springsteen's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/11/2009 06:43
Springsteen
It's Zelda. Holmes may post it as many times as he wants. It's Zelda. I like to think I'm not a Miyamoto sheep, but there's something inside my that cries of joy whenever a new Zelda is mentioned. Twilight was somewhat of a let down, but this is Miyamoto we're talking about. He seems to be taking a pretty personal stance about this one. I admire Aonuma's work, but he's been silent about it, and Miyamoto is just one hell of a gaming genius. I work like that towards Kojima and Ueda as well.

About the Broad Sword, it probably just transforms back and forth, giving you advice, just like Midna just went from, well, being your shadow to not being your shadow. You probably will use her to solve puzzles in her human form, but I don't think I would bet too high on that. They probably sat down to determine what made a Zelda game a Zelda game, and a common point was probably the Master Sword, whose story was never REALLY explained or anything. Besides, given the new physical approach beetween the player and the sword, it seemed like a good moment to give it a more relevant role.
Cowboy TTop's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/11/2009 08:10
Cowboy TTop
Indeed, this is old news. Many realised this since last week.

Nice try, though.
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/11/2009 08:21
Bob Muir
Looks like pretty solid evidence to me - I'm sold.
free touch's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/11/2009 08:28
free touch
needs more Picori.
PappaDukes's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/11/2009 09:31
PappaDukes
Best news ever, or greatest news ever?
silvain's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/11/2009 09:59
silvain
I guess I was one of the few who liked the motion controls in tp? I wasn't that fond of the game, but I liked the controls.
dharh's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/11/2009 10:38
dharh
Wrong direction, jeeze. Why does every yokel who does this do it in the wrong direction? The legs are the blade, not the handle.
Kid Slickarus's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/11/2009 11:07
Kid Slickarus
I kind of feel like a moron, because I didn't see the parallels between the mystery lady and the master sword until I read one of these articles; now its stupidly obvious.
I was thinking it was Naryu, the blue goddess that created law in hyrule and created the triforce of wisdom. The embodiment of the master sword could be cool, but I think a game based on helping a fallen golden goddess regain her power to restore order to Hyrule basically writes itself.
I guess I've had too much coffee or something, because I usually don't nerd out so hard.
Darren Nakamura's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/11/2009 12:03
Darren Nakamura
Some people have too much time on their hands.
pedrovay2003's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/12/2009 15:43
pedrovay2003
@dharh

That was a joke, right?
Infinitys End's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/13/2009 10:01
Infinitys End
On top of what Springsteen said, think about it -- you need help solving a puzzle and all you have is your sword that turns into a girl. So you can get the help you need but you're completely vulnerable to attack (unless you whip our your bow & arrows or something). So I'm guessing they had to do something about constantly forcing you to be without your sword for the sake of coming up with some really cool puzzles.
DR EGG's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/13/2009 21:23
DR EGG
If true, it just means that your SWORD will be alerting you with quest tips instead of some fairy. How novel.
lache's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 17:57
lache
Maybe she isn't a sword at all, she could be the guardian of the master sword, and u would probably have to go to hell and back to obtain it.
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