If you thought the last conservative reaction to Mass Effect's incredibly tame sex scene was hilarious, then prepare to have your sides literally burst at the seams with Kevin McCullough, a blogger who has accused Mass Effect of allowing teenage boys to practice sodomy in the game. While I didn't want to focus on people like this again for a while, I had to share the latest insanity with you, it's too good to pass up:
It’s called “Mass Effect” and it allows its players … to engage in the most realistic sex acts ever conceived. One can custom design the shape, form, bodies, race, hair style, breast size of the images they wish to “engage” and then watch in crystal clear, LCD, 54 inch screen, HD clarity as the video game “persons” hump in every form, format, multiple, gender-oriented possibility they can think of …
… And because of the digital chip age in which we live - “Mass Effect” can be customized to sodomize whatever, whoever, however, the game player wishes.
Were we playing the same Mass Effect, because I don't remember it being the videogame equivalent of a Russ Meyer movie. I wish it was, I might have actually enjoyed it. If "the most realistic sex acts ever conceived," involve five seconds of fumbling with a blue alien, then on what planet have I actually been living for the past twenty four years?
Are people really like this in the year 2008? Back when the Earth was thought to be flat, one could imagine multitudes of ignorant, uneducated paupers being frightened of sex, technology and their own shadow, but the fact that people still feel like this is somewhat worrying. You think the human race has evolved, and it can't even handle sex in a videogame without displaying its immaturity. Still, this man gets points for being absolutely hilarious. Sodomy indeed.
Contest:
10:46 AM on 01.14.2008
| 
My head hurts. I'm gonna go lie down...
Some people are just crazy/dumb/braindead.
I just don't get the world anymore. People are seriously starting to complain at every little thing they can about games. I wish people would start bitching and whining over how shitty games have started to become lately.
What...all 2?
The pure insanity of this whole thing makes me wish global warming would hurry the hell up -_-
If I was Bioware I would sue the shit out of this idiot. He's stating aspects of the game that don't exist whatsoever as if they are reality, and completely misrepresenting not only the content, but the entire point of the game. Sure, hardly anyone probably reads that nutbag's crap (unless its linked from a gaming blog), but it's still something that should be legally acted upon IMO.
If nothing else, suing this idiot would send a message to the other conservatives who just plain spread lies exaggerating the content and intent of games.
I'm a big fan of both gaming and the sport of MMA, and both have really opened my eyes to how lazy and lacking in integrity many journalists are. Even in today's world, where fact checking can be as simple as a fucking GOOGLE SEARCH, some of these turds can't be bothered to do any research whatsoever.
Thanks to Pheonix Wright, I now understand the pure satisfaction of pointing out someone's inaccuracies and contradictions through publicly displayed evidence.
TAKE THAT!
"Mass Effect has an explicit sex scene, pass it on"
"Mass Effect has you sodomizing everything in existence, purple monkey dishwasher!"
Anyone else want to customize there game to be able to sodomize "whatever"? Banging inanimant objects ftw!
Also, lol @ tubatic
Love reading stuff like this for the humour.
Hate reading stuff like this because it is such a stupidly outdated point of view!
create a boogie-man that scares the shit out of the mouthbreathers. Use the fear to gain a political foothold or expand a political viewpoint. destroy the country, move on to the next.
RL sex sucks compares to Mass effect, too many jaggies.
I think people are WAYY to anal (!LAWL!) as noted above by the mass, movies depict images that are way worse. People have nothign better to do than complain about everything.
DO WANT!
wtf is a digital chip? An snack food made of ones and zeros? Oh... no I've got it! Digitial chips are like English chips, they're french fries! The thing that makes them digital is that they're straight fries (ones) and curly fries (zeros) mixed together!
Now I'm hungry for some "digital chips"... :(
That quote just made my day, and I've been sick in bed. Heheheh.
Stay tuned for more!
"Why do conservatives always seem crazy?"
I wish I knew the answer to that one.
@ Spartacus
Another quote that should be in the back of the game's case. Imagine how much more popular it'd be?
Sigh... I can't even be bothered.
personally was disappointed of the lack of man on krogan action. but hey, gotta line things up for the sequel.