The above clip demonstrates Mass Effect's stunning slutty-aliens-designed-to-pander-to-teens rendering system. Then again, maybe we're being too cynical. After all, it would be unrealistic to think the future wouldn't also have strip clubs, and that those strip clubs wouldn't also still use that crappy blue and red stage lighting designed to hide trackmarks and facial twitches brought on by mainlining cocktails of Red Bull and cocaine.
Then again, as is our wont, I'm going to have to knock Mass Effect down a few pegs for assuming strippers would still be downing Red Bull and blow and gyrating in lackadaisical patterns that seem to repeat indefinitely. Sure, they'll still be bleeding nasally, and Pour Some Sugar On Me will still be the only song the DJ owns, but by 2183 Red Bull GmbH will have released something different to a whole new generation of people still cursed with regular heart beats.
Our guess? Space Bull. Shortly after its unprecedented success they'll also introduce Space Bull: The Lunchbox, Space Bull: The Coloring Book and Space Bull: The Flame Thrower.
[ProTip: If you're ever completely tapped out, just steal from Mel Brooks. Everyone else has. -- President Skroob]
I just don't find it at all believable that these alien women not only evolved to look just like human women but with blue skin and snakes for hair, but they also have the same cultural tastes as far as eroticism and sexuality. It's just not reasonable.
Hey wait a minute, hasn't Bioware already done the blue women with snake hair thing? Are they running out of ideas?
first the lesbian one and now this? are these "sex" videos being put out to the press by BioWare? if so, i can't understand why, as it's ruining the credibility of what looks to be an overall excellent game...
Bioware didn't do the "snakes for hair on a blue woman" thing, She was a Twi'lek, a species thats been in the Star Wars Universe since the original Trilogy, Jabba had one as a dancer (her boob slips out when he pulls her chain) and a male one as his aide.
Also,, that was the least erotic dance I've ever seen!
Ten years from now, what will we think when we look back at Mass Effect? I'm already looking at it like it's an ugly uncle I don't know that well asking me to watch porn with him.
Ten years from now, I think everyone will see it that way. But until then, graphics whore will be lapping this game up, just as die hard porn fans are probably watching Jenna Jameson DVD's with their ugly uncles right now.
You know, the one with the female dennis rodman lookalike and where the blue alien comes all over the place in oozie-goozie female alien ejaculation that has chunks in it?
Yeah they need to add a few more animations for that scene and do away with the whiplash neck. Then again this is not Mass Erection, it's Mass Effect. If players spent all their time in the strip club how could they save the universe?
Everytime I see a video of this game, the shit gets worse and worse and worse and worse and worse... I officially care less about this game than I did Bioshock.
Meh, its not givin me a boner. However, i can't say that the reason i want to purchase mass effect is to sit in an off world strip club all day either. Will get this one.
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Contest:
1:53 AM on 11.09.2007
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Mass Effect gets more boring the more I see it.
Hey wait a minute, hasn't Bioware already done the blue women with snake hair thing? Are they running out of ideas?
Bioware didn't do the "snakes for hair on a blue woman" thing, She was a Twi'lek, a species thats been in the Star Wars Universe since the original Trilogy, Jabba had one as a dancer (her boob slips out when he pulls her chain) and a male one as his aide.
Also,, that was the least erotic dance I've ever seen!
Ten years from now, I think everyone will see it that way. But until then, graphics whore will be lapping this game up, just as die hard porn fans are probably watching Jenna Jameson DVD's with their ugly uncles right now.
You know, the one with the female dennis rodman lookalike and where the blue alien comes all over the place in oozie-goozie female alien ejaculation that has chunks in it?
*barf*