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True words, Savant. Me and mine are gamers which makes it easier to buy lots of games and systems, but even then we have our problems with gaming. I want a Wii and he doesn't.
I had to fight to just get him to agree to let me buy one down the road and even then I have to buy expensive splitter to add it onto our TV with the other consoles, because nothing is getting unplugged for a Wii.
He wanted me to hook it up on a tiny TV in our cramped bedroom. I would have to play it the lazy way in such a tiny space. How is that fun?
I had to fight to just get him to agree to let me buy one down the road and even then I have to buy expensive splitter to add it onto our TV with the other consoles, because nothing is getting unplugged for a Wii.
He wanted me to hook it up on a tiny TV in our cramped bedroom. I would have to play it the lazy way in such a tiny space. How is that fun?
damn i wish i could get my wife into games, as it is every time i play a game she thinks im ignoring her.
Yeah, just got married, and she understands my gaming a little bit. The Wii has helped. She likes the fact that she beats me a golf. I suck at putting and she's friggin Tigerette Woods. She bought me a DS and I got the Wii for myself for Christmas since she wasn't going to stand in line.
Oddly, she's far from the reason I haven't had much time gaming as of late. Damn you education!!!! Dissertations are hard to write kids. Don't do a graduate degree unless you're serious about not remembering a few years of your life.
Oddly, she's far from the reason I haven't had much time gaming as of late. Damn you education!!!! Dissertations are hard to write kids. Don't do a graduate degree unless you're serious about not remembering a few years of your life.
I think a huge factor in this is that gaming is not a socially acceptable passtime. It's getting there, but not quite yet. So, its hard for people to swallow the gamer pill than it is for them to swallow, say...the football one. I've had people give me weird looks when I say my hobby is gaming. I'm sure in their heads they are thinking, "what are you, 11?"
I think a big first step in a relationship where your significant other doesn't game, is to make sure that they atleast respect your way of having fun. Not look down on it.
I think a big first step in a relationship where your significant other doesn't game, is to make sure that they atleast respect your way of having fun. Not look down on it.
If the misses to be is a gamer then I don't see why gaming has to end.
I understand raising children and other priorities can get in the way. but still Gaming is as natural nowadays as watching television or eating a meal. It all depends on who ya marry I suppose. If you as hardcore a gamer despite the missus scolding remarks you will find a way to play your video games one way or another.
I understand raising children and other priorities can get in the way. but still Gaming is as natural nowadays as watching television or eating a meal. It all depends on who ya marry I suppose. If you as hardcore a gamer despite the missus scolding remarks you will find a way to play your video games one way or another.
That's why you have to make sure she's perfect for you! I mean, if she's not comfortable you gaming to begin with, it'll most likely be very noticable prior to your engagement. I mean, my GF isn't much of a gamer, but she still plays everyonce and awhile. But she understands that I grew up with games and it's a hobby that will stick with me to the end of time. Because she understands that, she's amazing. Of course, the more we talk about our engagement and moving in together, the more she talks about gaming even more. Either way, I just hope the significant other will be able to understand that hobbies do exist and sometimes they just can't be thrown away.
I guess I'm lucky in that for the past couple years I've exclusively dated girls who are heavily into games (And for some reason kickass artists as well...), so I never had to worry about interference. Few things are hotter than a cute girl whupping you in Soul Calibur.
Awesome, awesome article, Mike.
As a married gamer, I can tell you that if you simply follow the advice you posted here, you'll be just fine.
As a married gamer, I can tell you that if you simply follow the advice you posted here, you'll be just fine.
I just think it's important to find a balance. As I get older and my responsibilities increase, I don't game nearly as much as I used to. I know that will be cut down even farther once I start a family of my own.
But I honestly don't let it bother me. Video games are an escape, and living in a dream world 24-7 is far from healthy.
But I honestly don't let it bother me. Video games are an escape, and living in a dream world 24-7 is far from healthy.
My wife doesn’t game much. She was into City of Heroes on the PC but she doesn’t dig any titles on the 360. The key to my happiness… I can play as much 360 as I want as long as I’m sitting next to her. So I bought a refurbished 24” CRT for my 360 and that sits next to the couch. Life is beautiful even with the compromises. (the 360 really does shine in full hi-res)
For me, the main problem with having a spouse that games is figuring out how to share the one television set that you own. I want to play Oblivion and she want to play Tomb Raider? hmmm...
Huh. Silly me. I actually took the time to learn something about my future wife before I married her. After doing things like spending time with her, telling her about myself and asking her questions that also related to her and her interests (over the span of ten years), the fact that I play video games came as no surprise to her after our wedding day. Imagine!
/sarcasm
/sarcasm
marriage is a trap! RUN!
Also, yes. Marriage and gaming can mix as long as you game together. Gaming takes up time, time that you could be spending together. It can build a lot of resentment if you don't decide right away that you will game together.
Also, yes. Marriage and gaming can mix as long as you game together. Gaming takes up time, time that you could be spending together. It can build a lot of resentment if you don't decide right away that you will game together.
I have a short prequel to this article: don't marry a needy insecure bitch with absolutely no hobbies of her own or she will attempt to fight off all of yours. I speak from experience. Make sure that when you disconnect, she can too (whether it's games or something else). Otherwise you're better off single with your personality intact, IMHO.
Bitch that comes between me and my NES marathon gonna' be getting real friendly with the business end of my nine iron...
I kid, I kid. Or do I...?
I kid, I kid. Or do I...?
Wow Niero,
There's a cautionary story there that should be told, if you feel comfortable doing it. I think getting the side of the coin that's "Shitty side up" would be good to hear.
There's a cautionary story there that should be told, if you feel comfortable doing it. I think getting the side of the coin that's "Shitty side up" would be good to hear.
great article. i agree totally. My girl loves animal crossing, nintendogs, ff3 and black... yeah that last seemed out of place to me too. the other day we went over to one of her friend from works house, everyone wanted to play couples halo, together we wiped the floor with 8 other couples, (not having one match even be slightly close) now granted most of the significant others in the room had barely even held an xbox controller before, but wtf, don't bring a stuffed animal to a knife fight and expect not to get cut.
That works for me. I'll just sue when I fall into the pitfall of unhappiness and sorrow that you could have help prevented. ;)
Significant others who are gamers are awesome.
Having said that, videogames will impede your ability to even get a date, let alone find a steady girlfriend. My advice: snare her in your web of lies and break out the videogames AFTER you've gotten her pregnant and drained her bank account.
Having said that, videogames will impede your ability to even get a date, let alone find a steady girlfriend. My advice: snare her in your web of lies and break out the videogames AFTER you've gotten her pregnant and drained her bank account.
Just a few days ago I had my wife bribe me with sex so I would play some AOE3 with her.
My life rules!
My life rules!
Luckily enough, gaming has actually brought me and my husband even closer. In fact, I truly believe that if not for video games (and MySpace, shut up), we never would have gotten together. He puts up with my smack-talking the minotaurs in God of War, and I pretend not to hear him cursing at Lumines (again). It's tough sometimes, because his rabid need to game vastly outpaces mine, but I find other things to do while he beats Lost Planet (which looks like it blows). Besides, after years of Tetrising, his finger control is amazing.
One of the "x-marks" of my current boyfriend is that he's not a gamer, so it gets frustrating when I make a reference to a game and he doesn't get it. Now I have to rely on my ex for my daily fix of gaming goodness.
This is why you marry a gamer. I play crackdown, she plays civ 4, maybe we both play Viva Pinata or Lumines. Heck, we both play Urban Terror for Q3.
I married a beautiful geeky gamer who giggles at "LOLDONGS" and the GNAA and has been on EFNet almost as long as I have.
We're both a little demented, which is why the marriage works so well.
I married a beautiful geeky gamer who giggles at "LOLDONGS" and the GNAA and has been on EFNet almost as long as I have.
We're both a little demented, which is why the marriage works so well.
not a gamer girl by nature...but slowly that's changing...even though I suck at Halo.....but that's another story...
Mrs. Tubatic plays Sims 2 like there's no tomorrow. I mean PLAYS Sims 2. Downloaded content for days, intricate and extensive family trees. Meticulously planned urban areas. And she's might just take a sick day for the next Expansion Pack.
So for that reason, she puts up with a good portion of my WoW addiction, while she's playing anyway. i will admit, I game less now that we've been living together/married. If it wasn't WoW, I think it'd be less of a threatening figure in the relationship.
But I've got good sense. There's a time for grinding and a time for . . . screw it, take that where you will.
So for that reason, she puts up with a good portion of my WoW addiction, while she's playing anyway. i will admit, I game less now that we've been living together/married. If it wasn't WoW, I think it'd be less of a threatening figure in the relationship.
But I've got good sense. There's a time for grinding and a time for . . . screw it, take that where you will.
Mrs. Tubatic plays Sims 2 like there's no tomorrow. I mean PLAYS Sims 2. Downloaded content for days, intricate and extensive family trees. Meticulously planned urban areas. And she's might just take a sick day for the next Expansion Pack.
So for that reason, she puts up with a good portion of my WoW addiction, while she's playing anyway. i will admit, I game less now that we've been living together/married. If it wasn't WoW, I think it'd be less of a threatening figure in the relationship.
But I've got good sense. There's a time for grinding and a time for . . . screw it, take that where you will.
So for that reason, she puts up with a good portion of my WoW addiction, while she's playing anyway. i will admit, I game less now that we've been living together/married. If it wasn't WoW, I think it'd be less of a threatening figure in the relationship.
But I've got good sense. There's a time for grinding and a time for . . . screw it, take that where you will.
I married a non gamer over 6 years ago. Gaming was a touchy subject for the first year or so and then she got me Silent Hill 2 for the PS2 for my birthday because she asked the guy at EB Games what was a good scary game since I like scary movies. She sat up with me every night for over a week while I went thru and beat Silent Hill 2 three times getting different endings. She adopted a sort of "backseat gamer" approach for a couple of years watching me play and helping with figuring out puzzles and solutions. Then I got us a new PC and she tried her hand at MYST (this was in 2004) and the next thing I know she's up at three in the morning trying to figure out the Sound Age and loving every minute of it. Now she's the one who runs into the room when she beats the next level on Elite Beat Agents or gets an achievement in Gears of War. It's nice to see how the dynamic changed over the years to fit in line with our marriage and my pasttime. Great article Savant!
Ah the children. We will train them to be assassins . . .
It is my dream that Tubatic Junior will cut his old school gamer chops on Mega Man and side scroller Mario. Either that, or support his old man's gaming habits by becoming somethign important like a video game addiction therapist, or an alien interpreter . . .
It is my dream that Tubatic Junior will cut his old school gamer chops on Mega Man and side scroller Mario. Either that, or support his old man's gaming habits by becoming somethign important like a video game addiction therapist, or an alien interpreter . . .
I would love to say it's as easy as, "Here honey, try this game out." My wife has an extreme hatred of video games. I've tried with many games before and she will often times not even touch the controller because she's so against it. I will keep trying though. Hopefully when I can afford a Wii she will play some of those games with me (Cooking Mama FTW)...
Balance is everything. I live in very close quarters with my significant other, and if I'm spending more time gaming than I am giving him attention there's definately an issue. I think the key is to find games you both enjoy, killing two birds with one stone kind of deal!
umm it can if both of them are on the same page/level gaming mind wise.. get a hardcore gamer that's on the top of their game, and a jealous spouse that's not can = bad news bears tho
I found this new website, its really intresting. MetroJoint.com is a social networking site with a difference. I got in touch with a lot of new people here, I even found some of my old lost friends. I can upload my photo album and all of my friends can view them with an ease. I can write scrapbook entries to others (even those who are not my friends, lol) and they can write to me as well. I have my own blog and I'm just loving it - thank god that I don't have to look at different sites to do all of this. And yes, there is a popularity meter to check in who's hot and who's lost, haha! here is my page http://www.metrojoint.com/mypage.php?userid=12821
well lets see, I've been married to a gamer for over 8yrs now and our relationship is great. I think the most important thing is communication. If you can't let your husband know how the game is gettin on your last nerve*LoL* or when is it going to be family time. Then it'll never work. You have to get your priorities str8 and have good communication skills. I know when a new game comes out like just yesterday Madden 08 was in. Game fly was sending it in the mail but since he had to have on the first day we had to go out of our way to rent it so that he wouldn't *so he thinks* fall behind. Weirdo>>>hahaha but I love him and sometimes you have to compromise. You can play your game as long as you don't say a word when I go out with my girls...;) Well so far its good so just remember COMMUNICATION, PRIORITIES 1st, and last but not least COMPROMISE....
I'll give you 3 guesses where my husband remained when the ambulance pulled up during our miscarriage. Now it's 2, 3, 4 am in the morning everynight / 10 hours daily. My husband only gets up from it to go to the bathroom and work, sleeps in the chair everyday with the controller in his hands. My concern is that he has gained over 100 pds, now has diabetes and doctor thinks he had a mini-stroke - he's in his 40s. It's sad to see a 20 yr marriage / family go down the tubes from this and even worse, his health. I don't bitch to him about any of it (although his parents do) because I stood in line all night to be sure he got one of the first ones (he wanted it so much) but one day soon, I'll be gone.
Damn accidental blank post!
@Fedup
Your story feels fake because you say that you are about fed up with your husbands gaming so that leads one to believe you are not a gamer yourself. yet you are on a videogame website posting comments on a story. This is obviously not your husbands nickname because your name is Fedup. It's just a coincidence that your name is Fedup when this is a story about how Marriages and gaming don't always workout. Who the fuck sleeps in their chair with the controller in their hand? The only game that requires that much retardation is WoW and you don't use a controller for that. Also WTF does this mean...
"I don't bitch to him about any of it (although his parents do) because I stood in line all night to be sure he got one of the first ones (he wanted it so much)
You never specified what you stood in line all night for and if anyone is standing in a line all night they damn sure will remember its name because there aren't many things worth doing that for. Also any woman would bitch at her husband for doing something she didn't like especially spending too much time playing video games, and especially because of all the supposed health problems.
Jack Thompson quit trying to pass yourself off as a concerned wife and give video games a bad name!
@Fedup
Your story feels fake because you say that you are about fed up with your husbands gaming so that leads one to believe you are not a gamer yourself. yet you are on a videogame website posting comments on a story. This is obviously not your husbands nickname because your name is Fedup. It's just a coincidence that your name is Fedup when this is a story about how Marriages and gaming don't always workout. Who the fuck sleeps in their chair with the controller in their hand? The only game that requires that much retardation is WoW and you don't use a controller for that. Also WTF does this mean...
"I don't bitch to him about any of it (although his parents do) because I stood in line all night to be sure he got one of the first ones (he wanted it so much)
You never specified what you stood in line all night for and if anyone is standing in a line all night they damn sure will remember its name because there aren't many things worth doing that for. Also any woman would bitch at her husband for doing something she didn't like especially spending too much time playing video games, and especially because of all the supposed health problems.
Jack Thompson quit trying to pass yourself off as a concerned wife and give video games a bad name!
It's actually not too hard to balance a gaming social life if you have a non-gaming s.o. (Granted, my bf and I both game a lot, to the point where we have to have separate 360's and psps, but still.)
It's pretty simple, even when they just don't get into it.
1. Share. If there's one nice television and one crappy one, and they have something they really, really, REALLY want to watch on tv, suck it up and use the crappy one. Talk to them about it, figure out what's important (your COD weekend blitz versus their Lost marathon), and split the difference. Same goes for the computer.
Amd never put your gaming television in the bedroom, unless you want to end up on the couch, a lot.
2. Bribery. I never understand why people don't use this. If you're going to hog the PC or tv or basically ignore them for the weekend, spoil them beforehand. Take them out to dinner, buy them something nice, anything to shut them up beforehand.
3. Common sense. A weekend blitz is never going to be more important than an anniversary or a death in the family.
4. Do your shit beforehand. I think it's the number one complaint. If you want to play Portal and you need to do the dishes, do the dishes first.
5. Time management. Play more when they're preoccupied and don't need your attention. Non-football fans do this during the Super Bowl; it's the same concept. Women go out in droves during the Super Bowl (at least where I live and work) if their bfs are into football and they're not, because it's free time and doesn't cut into anything else.
6. For the love of God, get a calender. A big one. Post it in the living room. Mark down special events and gaming days, and birthdays and anniversaries, and have your s.o. do the same, and then it'll solve three quarters of the problem- if he or she knows that you're going to be busy, they're less likely to bitch unless you're doing it constantly.
* sighs * I wish more people would. I hate having to explain gaming things to my non-gaming friends who are dating gamers. * gets off soapbox *
It's pretty simple, even when they just don't get into it.
1. Share. If there's one nice television and one crappy one, and they have something they really, really, REALLY want to watch on tv, suck it up and use the crappy one. Talk to them about it, figure out what's important (your COD weekend blitz versus their Lost marathon), and split the difference. Same goes for the computer.
Amd never put your gaming television in the bedroom, unless you want to end up on the couch, a lot.
2. Bribery. I never understand why people don't use this. If you're going to hog the PC or tv or basically ignore them for the weekend, spoil them beforehand. Take them out to dinner, buy them something nice, anything to shut them up beforehand.
3. Common sense. A weekend blitz is never going to be more important than an anniversary or a death in the family.
4. Do your shit beforehand. I think it's the number one complaint. If you want to play Portal and you need to do the dishes, do the dishes first.
5. Time management. Play more when they're preoccupied and don't need your attention. Non-football fans do this during the Super Bowl; it's the same concept. Women go out in droves during the Super Bowl (at least where I live and work) if their bfs are into football and they're not, because it's free time and doesn't cut into anything else.
6. For the love of God, get a calender. A big one. Post it in the living room. Mark down special events and gaming days, and birthdays and anniversaries, and have your s.o. do the same, and then it'll solve three quarters of the problem- if he or she knows that you're going to be busy, they're less likely to bitch unless you're doing it constantly.
* sighs * I wish more people would. I hate having to explain gaming things to my non-gaming friends who are dating gamers. * gets off soapbox *
My wife wasn't really a gamer when we got hitched, but being Korean she's more culturally aware of games (Like Starcraft being the #1 SPORT in Korea).
I'd sold my XBOX to buy her an Ipod for her B-day when we were dating, so after getting married I was really nervous about getting back into gaming. When single, gaming was my #1 hobby, I'd be up every night playing Halo 2 with friends until 3 AM. I didn't want to bring that into our marriage, because I don't think it'd be healthy to be so consumed by something, especially when I see way too many couples going to bed at separate times while the dude stays up all night playing games. For us, going to bed together is important....that's the time when we can really wind down and talk about out day and everything.
I got a PS2 a year and a half ago after getting married. I got it because it was cheap. My wife would play Time Crisis 3 and Guitar Hero together, and is now a huge fan of Katamari Damacy.
It's not important to me that she becomes a gamer, I'd rather hear her playing the piano while I play through COD4's campaign than anything else. If your relationship is healthy, no matter what your hobbies are they shouldn't cause strife, as long as you're spending the appropriate time together and getting your more important priorities done.
I don't play games even half as much as I did when I was single, but I wouldn't trade the time I spend with my wife for anything.
Being married rocks.
I'd sold my XBOX to buy her an Ipod for her B-day when we were dating, so after getting married I was really nervous about getting back into gaming. When single, gaming was my #1 hobby, I'd be up every night playing Halo 2 with friends until 3 AM. I didn't want to bring that into our marriage, because I don't think it'd be healthy to be so consumed by something, especially when I see way too many couples going to bed at separate times while the dude stays up all night playing games. For us, going to bed together is important....that's the time when we can really wind down and talk about out day and everything.
I got a PS2 a year and a half ago after getting married. I got it because it was cheap. My wife would play Time Crisis 3 and Guitar Hero together, and is now a huge fan of Katamari Damacy.
It's not important to me that she becomes a gamer, I'd rather hear her playing the piano while I play through COD4's campaign than anything else. If your relationship is healthy, no matter what your hobbies are they shouldn't cause strife, as long as you're spending the appropriate time together and getting your more important priorities done.
I don't play games even half as much as I did when I was single, but I wouldn't trade the time I spend with my wife for anything.
Being married rocks.
Me and my girl play Sims 2: Deathmatch. That's right, death by guinea pig bite. Suck it down!
miscarriage symptoms
miscarriage symptoms
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